VinDivine - Living it Up John & Janine Style

Dam Café - Lake Tahoe

If you've ever been to Tahoe City there is no way you don't know about the Dam Cafe. Yes it's right next to Fanny Bridge where tourists lean over to look at enormous trout, and all you see is a bunch of ass crack. Oh and yes, a dam. And then you can debate what's bigger - the fish or the grotesquely huge ASS CRACK. I got two bits on the A.C.

Anyways, this place is very cute, kitschy, very tiny but very freakin' good. Jen & Glenn are the absolute coolest most laid-back happy people ever born. That's right, I said it. They Live It. And, the people that work there are super charming too, all super granola straight outta Eugene Orygun if ya didn't know any better. But they have amazing stuff here, kick ass b'fast and lunch grub. We hit it EVERYTIME we're here for b'fast at least one mornin'. And you should too.

Here's the skinny:

• They serve Illy coffee here. I'll have a double non-fat, half caf, extra foam, 3-shot...wait...what the hell am I even saying? 
• They bake cookies and pastries, don't ship 'em in from some offsite pastry farm where this stuff is cooked by oompa loompas. They Cook Them On-Premise. How official...and tasty.
  
• Kick-ass bagels, with so many options you KNOW there was some funny shit gettin' smoked when the menu was created.
• Sandwiches are OTH, very fresh. Cold, hot, room temp. Whatever. It's all guuud.
• They serve wine and beer. Nuff said.
  
• Yummy smoothies.
• Best breakfast burrito around - meat or veggie. We get our veggie sans avo. Why the hell is avo on everything in California, isn't it pricey?

Funny thing: A Tahoe 2nd homeowner (BTW, prolly with a big pine branch up her ass) once wrote into the Tahoe City Newspaper about how all of the people that live here are a bunch of "Low Life Locals". Ouch. Tahoe folks went mad. Rightly so since so many of them work at establishments that make this biotche's home valuable.  Now it's an official local movement empowering the community. So the folks at the Dam Cafe had a ton of 'I'm A Low Life Local' t-shirts printed up!

Stop in and get one! Tell them "Veggie burrito, no avocado, large drip + caramel syrup" sent ya! And oh yeah, smoke 'em if ya got 'em.

Straits Café - SOMA

That's right, we eat at a mall, a kick-ass mall here in San Francisco that is. We've spoken about the Lark Creek Steakhouse in the mall, freakin' awesome cow. Hey, one of the best movies ever made had a buncha kids that worked at the mall: Fast Times at Ridgemont High. It's that magical place where Stacey Hamilton and Mark Ratner "fell in love" before the sl*t got knocked up by that slime Damone. I digress. Ya momma's alright, ya daddy's alright, they just seem a little bit weird...surrender. Ok, I'll stop.

Now it's time to tell all you VdVers about Lark Creek's neighbor Strait's Café. This place is rockin', even before we found out that our friend Lawrence usta work there a long time ago. Apparently it doubles as a "club" in the evening with a live DJ but seriously we'll go as far as to DRINK & EAT at the mall, (as long as it's not in the food court) but we certainly ain't "hangin'" at the mall at night. That's for the ole' bridge and tunnelers. What, It's true.

The question is: Would I go there if I wasn't going to the mall? The answer is: Probably not, but it's a DAMN good place to break up the shoppin' day. Takes the sting outta spending large ya know?

Apparently it's a chain, 5 spots, mostly in the Bay Area but one in the ATL. (Gotta love the ATL btw, at the airport the bartender asked us if we wanted our wine in to-go cups to take on the plane. Wow.)  Great small plates at this happenin' spot. The chicken wings are a bit weird though. You know when they take the chicken off the bone, mash it up and put it back on cuz they think you think it's cool? Well it's not. Creeps me out actually. The rest of the bar menu rocks. Go there, knock back a few, nosh and get yer shop on!

Straits Cafe
Westfield - San Francisco Center
845 Market St. $th Floor
San Francisco, CA 94103
415-668-1783
Valet Parking available on Mission St. Side

Za Pizza - Russian Hill

In my NY not-so-humble opinion there ain't THAT many good pizza joints in SF. Bagels suck too for that matter. Get H&H overnighted from NYC. I think it's the water in the dough but that's another conversation. Za Pizza is a great place to knock back a slice and a beer in this neighborhood spot on Russian Hill! This place comes somewhat close to a tiny NYC hole-in-the-wall, without smelly pizza guys from Italy throwing the dough in the air of course.  We usta go in here and wait for our pups to get a good washin' at the Russian Hill Dog Groomers. Leonard is the man there. Brooks is the man behind Za.

The slices of pie are gynormous, they have a specialty they call the Potesto Pizza. Slices of potatoes and pesto sauce drippin' all over the place. Yum. And thin-crust too. Not like our thick late-night drunky Golden Boy slabs,  but that pizza is for soakage, this is for tastage. We get any pizza with onions and mushrooms but they have some fun-named pizza like the Vincent van Dough (fresh roma tomatoes, basil & garlic) and the Salvador Dali (chicken, sun-dried tomatoes, pesto &  tomato sauce...mmmmm). Get a salad, any salad. Also huge. Feels like the never-ending plate of greens. Good though. Wine is so-so but they've got great beers on tap. Don't get delivery, by the time you get it it's too cold, soggy, tough. You gotta go there and pick it up.

Hint: If you eat outside at one of the two tables on the hilly sidewalk, watch out for the pups that go into get groomed next door. Pee flows downhill people. Pick up yer feet!

They don't have a website so check out Za on CitySearch. Buck up for the site guys!

Za Pizza
1919 Hyde St. (Green St.)
San Francisco, CA 94109
415-771-3100
Parking is tough, it's on the cable car line.

Orbit In - Palm Springs

Aloha! Mahalo! Or as Janine would prefer to say, Manolo (as in Blahnik for all you Birkenstock-wearing shoe haters). Nope we're not in Hawaii, kittens. We are in Palm Springs, but it kinda has that feel. 'Cept for that whole 'being surrounded by water' part that is. Anyhoo, it is hot here, and it is hot in Hawaii. So shut your pie hole and just read.

So, we snuck down here to Palm Springs for a couple days of heat and R&R, as we've both been hittin' it hard lately (and I'm not talking the bottle). If you haven't been here, the rumors are true. No not that one about the heat. That's not a rumor. It gets kiln hot here. Think Old and think Gay. Yes there are plenty of old people, plenty of gay people, and plenty of old + gay people:

Bottom line, if ya can't deal, make your getaway plans for somewhere else, East Bay. Ha. Just joshin' with ya, all ya lovers from Concord, Walnut Creek, Pleasant Hell, I mean Hill, Oakland (oh yeah, don't wanna piss off any of my homies from o-town), and Stockton...wait a minute let's skip Stockton. Skip Fresno too.

This place is f'ing Fantabulous. J&J will put down roots in this barren, hell-hot oasis, mark my words. Now go make some money Janine! I mean P.S. is all about '50s rat-pack, mid-century modernism, hedonism and all those other good isms. It's an hour or so cheap flight from SFO, and...wait for it...your fave hotel snobs J&J stayed in a...oh god I can barely say or type it. Nope, contrary to our Modus Operandi, we didn't do a Viceroy or Palmer resie...we went Old School and WENT chillin' at the uber-retro-cool Orbit In, bitches! Think Roadside Motel, people. Think Sinatra and the Rat Pack. Think Twister! Think martinis and any beverage that needs to be poured out of a shaker.

That's right. What took us so f'ing long to grace this place with our presence?! Right off that bat, you fly into an outdoor airport. Then a $10 - 10 minute ride to downtown. Then check into a rockin' cool motel, which there are oodles of, but Orbit In takes it IMO. 8-9 rooms, we got a miniscule room but still doable. Everything centers around the cool pool and outdoor bar anyway. And they pump Sinatra bascially 24x7 by the pool.

So beside laying around the pool and getting hammered at the outdoor bar? Cruise the downtown strip, sucka! By day: old, tame and laid-back. By night: gay as a purseful of rainbows. Woo Hoo! We went to a tapas bar and the second the sun went down, we were smack-dab in the middle of an awesome drag show.

So people there is something here for anyone, except for rednecks. Is that not nirvana? 

Orbit In
562 West Arenas
Palm Springs, CA 92262
760-323-3585

Sunnyside - Lake Tahoe

Since Tahoe City is our 2nd pad why the hell don't we have a freakin' category for it yet on VinDivine? You KNOW we ain't holed up in our place all day eatin' crudité. Sunnyside shines bright in the mountain of cafes, restaurants and waterin' holes around the lake tonight, around the lake tonight, oh, that's a Toadies song. I digress.

Sunnyside how do we love thee, let us count the ways, we're feeling in a "loving" mood today:

1. It's smack dab on the lake with an ass-kickin' view and a gynormous back deck for hangin' in the sun. You'll also find Donzi dicks rollin' up to the dock with their screamin' loud boats but don't knock Sunnyside cuz the idiot's from Fresno. Grab an order of Deep Fried Zucchini and the adult beverage of your choice, get a little sun on your face, a little buzz in your noggin and do some serious people-watching. 

2. Hands down some of THE BEST people (who just happen to be bartenders, shocker!) we know. Dana, Scotty (fames owner of snow removal business "Snow Job"), Rafe, Bryan, Derrick, you rock it!

3. It is home to the annual silent auction to raise money for the ski school at Alpine Meadows where instructors teach instructors how to teach people with disabilities to ski. Whew...try saying that sentence in one breath. Crazy cool. Even crazier? Ole' Johnny beat out some snot-nosed spoiled 10-year old for Darren Rahlves skis one year. Made him cry. Boo Hoo. Learn a life lesson, punk!

Then we rubbed a little more salt in his wounds and got Darren to sign them for us! John's ski: "You schooled me in the bumps - (yeah right)" (Darren just couldn't bring himself to write it without the caveat). Janine's ski: "Nice bumps". Watch it Rahlves! Sweet. Too bad for the kid, if only granny felt like coughin' up a cool four-hundy you'd have 'em now and there would be something far less childish written on the skis than our meager minds would want. Hey the ski school was the real winner.

4. Close to the best burger we think we've ever had, RARO bien sur. Hey that's Spanish AND French for you single-language speakers. Oh it's the Kobe burger, spend the extra 3 bucks, don't cheap out. Comes loaded with bacon and gorgonzola cheese. We go sans both as that is some strong-tastin' toppins!

5. Chili - Winter-only, made with FILET mignon!!! Are you kidding me with that chili? Once John offered a taste to some dude sitting next to him who was drooling over the sight of it and the dude took him up on it! Who does that? Anyway, we actually got the recipe but you need to make like 20 gallons of this crack. RAFE - Break it down to a few servings for us cooking neophytes.

6. Fish tacos - 2 huge ones, get them Cajun style. It's not on the menu but tell 'em we said ya could. And on Wednesday nights they have taco night! I think the deal is 2 tacos and a Dos Equis for $5 or some crazy deal. Woo Hoo!

7. The Major Margarita. Words can't really describe it. Just get it, on the rocks, salt, float of Grand Marnier. Nuff said.

8. After only one of #7 you can walk around the corner, rent a waverunner and kick it on the lake! Insider tip: hmmm..."should I give this up?", I ask myself as my fingers float tentatively above the keyboard...shit I can't stand it, here goes! Rent at 3PM or so, cuz the Tahoe Gal - a big fake paddle-wheel boat - comes through and throws out a hella-big wake. Crank that throttle and catch some air, bitches!

9. People Watching - We once saw some dude from Stockton with his brother on the deck. Both pretty tanked on pints o' beer. One bro turned to the other to do the 'cheers' thing. Anyway, as timing would have it, Bro #2 was taking a swig and he got his own glass 'cheers'd' right into his face! Ouch. I think we both peed our pants laughing. Now that's a solid watch. Ya don't get that every day.  Note to y'all: Cheersing is like the tango. It takes two. Bonus sighting: You'll usually see some chick's pants that are WAY too low in the back sitting down gettin' ass full-o-air. Can't she feel that wind? Dang gurrl pull 'em up!

10. A wine list a shwank SF restaurant would envy. We've usually been too heavily beaten over the head by the buzz fairy to get all wino up there, but we do know a solid list when we see one. Word. Plus they have some fancy wines by the glass. So all ya cheap drunks, you can actually make believe you have class and only have to buy a single glass. Rock on!

11. It is a straight shot of 3 miles to our chez J&J. Now that's worth lovin'!

So if that's not enough to persuade you to hang at SS winter or summer, you have a serious aversion to fun. Go away. Unsubscribe. All you others, we expect to see you up there pronto!

Sunnyside
1850 West Lake Blvd.
Tahoe City, CA 96145
530-583-7200

The Brickhouse - South Beach

I have NO idea why we haven't blogged about THIS PLACE yet. I mean it's been in South Beach forever and is about a 3 minute walk from our pad. Therapists often say sometimes you treat those closest to you like crap, sorry Brickhouse, we do love you.

To say that this place should be right in the heart of Eugene Oregon is an understatement people. What do I mean? It's like Brickhouse asked someone to go to a few yard sales in Eugene put on by a bunch of stoners with dreads and tats (who incidentally can also be found selling puppies for $5 each out of shopping carts at Saturday Market), bought the entire garage of mismatched furniture, drove it right down and POOF you have your kitschy little Brickhouse. We love you!

Lunch is amazing, Tuesdays and Thursdays they've got the Hot and Wild Pig sando that'll knock your socks off! Mondays and Fridays go for the Happy Meatball, great name, who isn't happy eating meatballs? No friend of mine I tell ya. Oh and don't think you can go in at lunch, plop your ass down and start sucking down their free wifi, no-go. They want paying customers not Starbucks loungers that run their entire day from a wing chair drinking ONE cup-a-joe. Cheap asses.

Go for a burger for dinner, made from WAGYU Beef. The Big Ass Burger is truly a great description.

Did we say full bar? No but I'm sayin' it now, LOUD. FULL BAR.

What we really go for? Sundays? Brunch? You betcha. Knock down a huge plate 'o eggs. They say it's two eggs, but we'd like to see the chicken those eggs came from. That musta hurt. Make sure you get the mimosa with 'em. They're heavy handed with the old sparklin'.

So go there, have fun, tell 'em VinDivine sent ya.

The Brickhouse
426 Brannan St.
San Francisco, CA 94107
415-369-0222

Valdez Rockpile Road Zinfandel

Talk about The Attack of the Killer Zin! How the hell hadn't I heard about this juice before?! Hey, y'all can tell me about a wine sometime, hear me? Dang guurrll, one sippa this 17% alcohol bruiser and you get the picture...sweet crude, baby. Say it with me. Just like an oil slick of yummy goodness oozing down your gullet. Grab the reigns and hold on tight! Woo Hoo! Grab a chug of this and it'll do the Men In Black mind-eraser (get one here $159) on any negative connotations from that other Valdez...

Nope, and if you were thinking...did that alcoholic (I don't mean that in a bad way) rat-bastard (I do mean that in a bad way) ship pilot Joseph Hazlewood made amends to the world, and hundred if not thousands of fish and waterfowl, by hand-crafting a Zin named after his big f-up? That's right, you guessed it! HEY WAKE UP. Damn. Better yet, just close this tab in Firefox and don't return. That dick may have hit the sauce, but you actually thought he had the chops to pull this off? No sirree, this wine has a much more heart warming origin. As that dude on In Living Color always said, Wrote a Song About it, Wanna hear it? Here it go:

(cue Gene Hackman voice over) From a remote village in Michoacan, Mexico, to the vineyards of Sonoma County, this is the story of Ulises Valdez'  pursuit of the American Dream, culminating in the first releases of Valdez Family Winery, on July 8, 2006. This year marks twenty years in the vineyard business for Ulises, first as field worker, then as a partner in the vineyard management business, and now owner of Valdez and Sons Vineyard Management. Working on several hundred acres of vineyards has enabled Ulises to select some of his favorite blocks for his first wines. Collaborators include such acclaimed winemakers as Mark Aubert, Jeff Cohn, Paul Hobbs, Kent Rosenblum and Rolando Herrera.

The Valdez Rockpile Zinfandel hails from the same vineyard as Rosenblum's Rockpile Zin,(btw rated Wine Spectator's #3 wine in the world) so you know the fruit is gonna kick it.

Tastes? Now now, you all know to scroll to the bottom for the meat if you want to skip the rant...Big, rich and luxurious, this heavyweight Zin floats like a butterfly (an iron one anyway) and stings you like a bee. That 'ol buzz fairy comes along to tap you on the shoulder pretty fast, let's just say. There's not a shy bone in this wine's body. Whew. Got it? Great balance of smack-you-between-the-eyes alcohol and exotic blackberry, winter spice, and chocolate notes. On the finish you'll just love the crap out of the smoky espresso notes. Yummy! 

We found it at Houston's Restaurant on The Embarcadero in San Francisco, but realizing the worldwide popularity of VinDivine, I understand that is only relevant to a very small percentage of our faithful readers. A very puny percentage, in fact.  Too bad it's sold out on the Valdez Winery website so you'll have to find it elsewhere on the world wide web. Hey Valdez, sell more off your own site and keep the margins! Why give it to people like K&L?! They don't even provide shopping carts. (sorry I couldn't help myself).

Oh yeah, goes for about $36. Hey don't whine it's good.

Tough Love for K&L Wines

Dear K&L: Please, please take this at its most constructive. Just like when my parents beat me for flunking grammar class in 6th grade "because they loved me", I implore you to see the sunny side of these rants. 'Cuz look at me now! Thanks Mom & Dad. OK? Alrighty then, now that we understand each other...Hey K&L, invest in more than one shopping cart why dontcha you cheap bastards?! I mean, seriously. Seriously. You want to up that Average Order Size? Well, do ya, punk?! Then make it a tad easier to fill 'er up then. Damn, have you seen the demographics of your buyers? 'Spring chickens' does not pop to mind. Jesus, making them lug around 25 pounds of wine in those damn totes is almost inhumane.

I know, I know it's a cramped place, you need to rack 'em and stack 'em to make the biz work. You don't want shopping cart destruction derby going down. Especially with all that glass. But how about 3-4 additional carts? Whatdya say? Maybe even mini-carts. So people can whip them threw the maze you call aisles without doing too much damage? Just tell me you'll consider it. You know how to reach me. I just hope you don't find out where I live;)

Oh yeah, all these rants are about the San Francisco shop, I don't know crap about the other locations. For all I know there is a very high 'shopper to cart' ratio.

Oh yeah again: I gave you guys 2 backlinks! One more helpful little suggestion - the title tags on your site should be shorter and more concise for better SE rankings. Try 'buy wine online', or 'online wine sales'. I just can't help myself!

Congrats Jonnatan Leiva!

First, characteristically off-topic and A.D.D. as always. Here's how much I despise Chardonnay: I roll off the couch just now at 1 AM or so, and face a difficult choice as my beady eyes adjust to the glare of the sub-zero lights: pour a fresh glass of Chard from a brand spankin' new $40 bottle. Or, pour the remaining dredges from a $10 bottle of Pomelo Sauv Blanc that's been sitting open for the past 4 days? That's right VdV'ers, I took that Pom faster than a crackhead hits the pipe!

OK, back to our regular scheduled programming.

So Jonnatan Leiva finally got some the respect he deserves. This guy is a KICK ASS talented chef and basically the reason Jack Falstaff is one of the top go-to places in SoBe. 'Cuz otherwise I think most Plumpjack places are self-loathing, bloated pieces of crap. But not this one! No, no. OK, prolly not Carneros Inn in Napa either. But all ya P-Js in The Marina (and in Squaw) - I'm talkin' about YOU!

Anyhoo back to the the star (or rising star;) of the show. Jonnatan. This dude cooks his ass off, and has fun doing it. And he's super cool and a has passion for creating a fresh, refined, upscale menu that still fits the laid-back South Beach/SOMA style. Try anything Lamb. Actually try anything at all, he rocks it across the board. And, drumroll please...he was just awarded the honor of one of the Five Bay area Rising Star Chefs of 2008. Yay! Now that you mention it, that's the subject of this blog. Amazing how it all comes back around, huh? I mean, that crackhead Michael Bauer just doesn't get it, giving Falstaff only 2 1/2 stars a few months ago. Time to put that fossil out to pasture, don't you think? Go review Scoma's on Fisherman's Wharf, Bauer.

So congrats to Jonnatan. Plumpjack, you're lucky to have him. And y'all, go to Jack Falstaff and enjoy his creations. Now, dammit!

And here's a hint for all you neighborhood SF Giants haters: While 21-A, Paragon and especially MoMos (and probably Pete's Tavern) are full of a-holes during home games, Falstaff's is an oasis. Calm, cool and civilized. Shhh. Keep it real, keep it to yourself.

So that's that. Go Jonnatan!

Coming Soon! Reviews of: a wine that shares the same name as a massive oil spill (or at least the f-ing ship that did it) Valdez...a restaurant named after the capitol of the worst f'ing state in the union, Houston's...and last but not least, another restaurant named after a big fat guy, Orson!

Chee Poht Lay - Yee Haw!

So here I am, posting my first blog from my brand-spankin' new MacBook Air! Woo Hoo! Damn what a bitch it was though getting all my info over from that fossil of a PowerBook I've had for the past 3 years. I mean, come on Steve, FireWire was one-a the best things you've come up with since Monsters, Inc.. And I am sure I'll get burnt again for being an early adopter of the Mac. Anyhoo, this ain't no Tech Crunch blog, so let's get on with it, whatdya say?!

Sooo. Being a wining and dining and occasional travel-ish blog, this may appear a bit random, but you know us. I've got 2 words for you today, my kittens: Chipotle Tabasco.  OMG. This is the mothers milk of condiments. Chee Poht Lay. Say it with me. Learn it. Live it. Love it. Get some now. Yum. Don't sprinkle it! Douse it on your eggs in the AM, in your soups for lunch and over pretty much anything you eat for din din. Hell, I go into the fridge and pour some on my fingers and just lick it right off. OK, T.M.I.

Lemme break it down for y'all, in true VdV fashion: "Rich garnet & tomato hues in the glass. Spicy, peppery nose and nice mouthfeel with layers of jalapeno, chipotle and subtle garlic and vinegar flavors. Long, lingering finish best ended with either a shot of tequila or an ice cold beer."

Viva la Chipotle Tabasco!