Well hellooo there, sexy. So we were in Aspen recently, just b4 the Democratic National Convention. Where, BTW, ‘ol J&J were on LIVE TV, bitches!! Woo Hoo, Prime Time. That’s right. During Hillary’s speech. Damn, we shoulda been wearing our VdV t-shirts (you’ll be able to order them soon, relax) it coulda been our ticket to fame!

Anyhoo, let’s take a breath, calm the hell down and roll it back to the weekend prior to our entree to the world of live politics.
First impressions of Aspen: 1) Well, Cosmic, our taxi driver, was a cool dude, ex-pro skier and all that but could’ve been from Eugene OR. (clue: that means, laid-back stoned granola-eater) 2) F’ing gorgeous (Aspen, not Cosmic) 3) WTF are the celebs?! Holy crap ya think we came here to mingle with the riff raff?  R U kidding me?! The closest we got was a ‘maybe’ on Fred Thompson that blowhard repub lying a-hole d-bag. But when I shouted that at him, like “are you Fred Thompson the lying sleazeball republican d-bag?” he didn’t respond. And I don’t have pictures, so cannot either confirm nor deny that. I guess if I was a Republican the truth wouldn’t matter and I’d just say whatever the f I want and make it true! Maybe I should switch parties, sounds like a much easier life.  4) Where’s the f’ing APSENS?! What kind of fraud is this?! My world has been turned upside down! Just throw in the towel and call it Prada, there more of these here than the trees this place was named after!

Disclaimer: OK, we did find some Aspens, lotsa them actually and we dig this little mountain oasis. Especially ‘cuz I think we hit it on a dead weekend, just before Labor Day and the Jazz fest. So we basically had the run of the place.

Let’s get to the facts, hep cats:

Sky Hotel: The hands-down sexy spot to stay. There’s lotsa old-school places like Jerome, Little Nell, etc. but Sky is Kimpton and, although the staff is a little ‘ASSpen’ we do reco it. Great pool scene with the requisite local dickheads, pretty people, killer bar, and a decor that mixes Rockies with Ralph Lauren . Make sure to get a room on the 2-4th floors. And watch out for the freaky security punk that just struts around not talking to anyone and completely useless like a Nazi guard. Weird-o.

VdV Rating: 3

Sky Hotel
709 East Durant Avenue

Social: Small plates. Big drinks. Retro-Modern-Loungy is my sum up here. Cool lighting, blah. It was beautiful outside with seating but we decided to sit inside ‘cuz of the killer vibe. Wok-charred Edamame, Stuffed piquillo peppers with artichoke mousse, Lobster bisque with Gruyere cheese toasties, Wagyu beef sashimi, Kobe meatball. Scallops with Brie and honey on a cracker. Next round? A Roman Vomitorium. Caligula style.

VdV Rating: 4

Social Restaurant
304 East Hopkins Avenue

D19: Great lunch here, outside seating as well, rustic Italian feel and we dug our salads. Heirloom Tomato Carpaccio and Mascarpone Burrata, ‘The Popular’ Smoked Chicken Salad, and several glasses of vino.

VdV Rating: 3

D19 Restaurant
305 South Mill St.

Rolling Forks River: Ya gotta work all that food and drink off to keep those washboard abs, am I not correct? So make like the locals and take a trail run, you fat slob! The trails around here rock the house, it’s really the reason to be here, at least in the Summer. Giggidy! We ran ‘em, 9 and 7 miles respectively but you also need to run the river, which we didn’t get a chance to do this time around.

So, bottom line? DO ASPEN. A little ‘tude, but just strap on your own and you’ll have a blast!

VdV Rating (for an Aspen trip): 4