So we were desperately seeking a place to duck into during a recent torrential monsoon (I guess that’s about the only kind of monsoon…) in Georgetown. Something like 3″ of rain in 24 hours. Yeah yeah, we’re those wussies from SF who whine if it gets below 65 degrees or rains for more than 15 minutes. Nice to meet ya!

It was Saturday night in G-town so even with the rain, or maybe because of it, it was super quiet on the streets but almost impossible to get a seat inside anywhere. So we dodged into this cute little Tapas place, and put our names in for what looked to be a long wait. Bodega was packed, people. This place is narrow, with a bar on the right side that seats about 14-16 people. Or 8-10 fat asses (that’s approximately 1.6-1.75 fat asses to one normal ass, if you wondered about the conversion rate). There are small 2-top tables down the left side, then the space eventually opens up a bit in the back after the bar ends, and is pretty decent sized. Still feels cozy though. And they definitely had a good vibe going, a nice attractive crowd, everybody having fun and hunkerin’ in the bunker away from the crappy weather.

We caught the bartender’s attention, I can’t remember her name but she definitely appeared a tad bit frustrated by having to pour so many drinks. Waaahhh! Drinks = tips, woman. Or she just despises precipitation. We didn’t ask. We figured we’d save our precious breath to order a couple Sangrias. Which we did. It was about that time that we spied it…yes, a couple at the BAR just reviewing their bill and ready to sign and split. Better than dine and dash. Jackpot! So like a Rottweiler drooling over a raw steak, we positioned ourselves strategically to pounce when the time was right. And at that point entered the time-honored, silent dance of  ‘Bar Seat Tango’ (AKA: ‘That seat’s mine bitch, get back’). Yes there were other contestants lurking around. But not really. Seriously. Not true competition, let’s just leave it at that. VdV are true pros. We crouched, we pounced, I think the other J hissed at a pathetic competitor or two, and we scored two beloved bar seats. And knocked about 30-45 minutes off our wait to boot. Bonus!

So moral to that story? Don’t F with VdV, bitches!  Woo Hoo! Anyway, the food, you ask? Well, like I mentioned previously, Bodega is a Spanish Tapas place. I did say that, right? So, small plates, people. They have a very nice menu that ranges from the traditional/typical tapas to some more on the creative side of life. And all reasonably priced as well! Hey those Hoya punks might not get Daddy’s trust fund check in time, so might need some relief. Anyways. we got into it and ordered a slew. Here it goes!

Pan con Tomate y Jamón Serrano ($8),  translation of which is Tomato Bread with Jamón Serrano. “Tomato bread, you say?” “Yes, I dare say.” “No you mustn’t.” “Yes I must.” “OK I’m gonna knock you out if you keep this up.” “You ignorant beast!” OK, enough. Sorry about that. Hey, what stupid fool doesn’t like ham on toast? This stupid fool does. Next, we savored the Pimientos del Piquillo a la Plancha ($7), which are Seared Piquillo Peppers with Sea Salt. This is a nice basic appy in most Tapas joints and these guys did it up right. The peppers mellow a lot after being seared, and these were tender yet still a teensy bit of crunch left to them. And the big chunks of sea salt balance the heat of the peppers perfectly. I mean, nothing to get weak in the knees about, but still damn good. Feel me?

Round 3? Champiñones al Ajillo ($7), Sautéed Button Mushrooms with Garlic. Yeah I know, we’re being pretty basic. Got a problem with that? I didn’t think so. These were pretty so-so. I dunno, the ‘shrooms were just a little wimpy soft and too garlicky. Next! Fancy this name: Vieras a la Plancha con Salsa Cremosa de  Alcaparras y Salteado de Habitas Tiernas ($11). Say what? That dish uses every f’ing letter in the alphabet! What is it, really? Basically Seared Scallops in a caper Sauce with Fava Beans. Here’s where they got us – we both love seared scallops, those dirty little scavengers of the sea, I love Fava (or just loving saying the word ‘Fava’ over and over until the other J is tempted to hit me square in the face with a dinner plate), and the other J loves capers. No not like Scooby Doo capers, the salty little veggie. Or is it a legume, more specifically? Who knows, and WTF cares. TMI. Anyway, we dig this meal! The creamy caper sauce was surprisingly subtle, not too caper-ish or salty and the fava beans made a nice little bed of love that it all rested on. Awww.

OK, more. Damn we are pigs! Gonna cut to the chase here, kittens, my fingers (at least the two I use to type) are getting fatigued. We wrapped it up with two go-to dishes, the Croquetas de Pollo ($8), AKA Chicken Croquettes and the Patatas Bravas ($6), AKA IYNATYRAI (as in, If You Need A Translation You Are An Imbicile). These two dishes are staples for any Tapas joint, and in some ways the litmus test whether a Tapas place rocks or sucks. Both dishes were ‘pretty good’. Not great, but tasty ‘cuz unless you really screw them up they’ll taste dandy. The croquettes were good, the filling could have been a little more flavorful, but still good. The Patatas (OK, imbecile, Potatoes), were perfectly crisp and tender, we woulda liked a little more of that spicy tasty Aoili with them though.

The Sangria? I’m not really a Sangria bitch. Unless it sucks, for some reason I’m fairly happy. And this Sangria passed the test. I’m sure I’ve had better, but it definitely did the trick. That said, as opposed to other places we only had 2 rounds before switching to vino. Or was it Vodka?

VdV Rating: 3

Hours:
Sat – Sun: 11a – 3:00p
Mon – Fri: 11:30a – 3:00p
Sun – Thu: 3:00p – 11:00p
Fri – Sat: 3:00p – 12:00a

Bodega
3116 M St NW (between N 31st St & N Wisconsin Ave)
Washington, DC 20007
(202) 333-4733

So DC can lay down some quality Mexican food! Can’t say the same for their Pizza (more to come soon, just you wait, and the taxi drivers suck ass and drive too slow and don’t know where anything is), but DC can do Mexican. Olé!

We had the hankerin’ for some good, not too fancy Mexican the other day in Georgetown. Yeah, that’s right, Jorge. We realize we’d just dined on Mexican for dinner a couple nights prior at Oyamel. But that was more fancy-shmancy Mexican, not good down home ‘could eat here every day’ Mexican. And it had been an entire, grueling 36 hours since we’d had chips & salsa! We needed a fix. So we found Los Cuates on Yelp. I know it’s pretty embarrassing but we were on foreign soil! Not literally, dumbass, I just mean that we were on our own. Friendless. Sans amigos in the District of Columbia. And I’ll tell ya one thing: Yelp ain’t nearly as popular in DC as it is in SF or NY. I mean, 22 reviews? 58 reviews? Pishka. Anyway, this place got good marks. And really, I know we call ourselves bitches, but Yelpers can be some downright cheap ass bitches. At least we’re not cheap.

So this place is cool, a few blocks off the main drag of M street on Wisconsin & Q. Cute little place, with just enough Mexican stuff around it to satisfy a gringo. Not too much. No La Cucaracha blaring, no Speedy Gonzalez , yada yada. We reckon it’s a popular spot for the Hoya crowd (what’s a Hoya, anyway. Even Georgetown itself can’t pin it down. And it has nothing to do with a bulldog). ‘Cuz it’s awesome food, good margaritas and a pretty decent value for whatcha get. I didn’t say cheap, but worth it. Feel me?

It’s sans Siete Leguas here but a good enough selection of tequila. And the ‘ritas are solid. Dunno if it’s all pure fresh lime juice but it’s close. None of that crap where ya need a side of Alka Seltzer after the second round.

But enough of the liquids. It was 3 PM and we hadn’t had a bite all day. We were ravenous. I think we looked scary. Like wolves. I think Duran Duran started playing when we walked in. So get us some f’ing Chips & Salsa!! Yeah. And they delivered. So, we’d heard complaints that the chips were so thin, they break off in the salsa…Damn life’s rough for you, you little G’Town, senator’s daughter. Get a life! Well, wait. Ha. Yes the chips are thin, but that just means it allows the salsa to do its job, which is deliver awesome-ness to your gullet like a Fedex truck.

Yee haw! All good. The salsa is pretty mild but very fresh, with big chunks of tomato and onion and minced pepper. We demolished 3-4 bowls of it, and they happily refilled it each time. ‘Cuz they know – with chips & salsa comes bonus rounds of Margaritas! These Georgetown people are clever.

These guys have a solid menu of all the usual suspects. Tacos, Fajitas, Burritos, Chimichangas, Frijoles, Guacamole, Mole. Mole Mole Mole. Sorry, couldn’t resist. The menu is nothing that crazy, and that’s cool. Just good, well executed Mexican food. And lots of it.

We had the Chicken & Steak Fajitas ($15), which were awesome. We wanted it rare (the beef, not the fowl!) and we got it rare. A super duper generous portion, lotsa cow and bird, sizzling like a mofo with green pepper, onion, some crazy hot Pablanos with beans (not black, bummer) good rice, s’cream and all that jazz.

We’d come back here for this dish and more anytime we’re here. But I think next time we’d just stick with the steak. Nothing personal against the chicken but the steak just rocked it.

Hey we liked fancy-pants Oyamel a lot too, but this is more of an everyday Mexican place. meaning we’d probably eat here almost every day if we lived here. So pilgrim, if you’re in the G’Town hood, or even anywhere around DC and want some killer Mexican get your ass to this place!

VdV Rating: 3.5

Hours:
Sun-Thus 11:30a-10p
Fri-Sat 11:30a-11p
Sat-Sun 11:30-2p (brunch)

Los Cuates

1564 Wisconsin Ave. NW
Washington, DC 20007
(202) 965-7009

PRO: Great Mexican small plates, fun vibe, excellent fresh ingredients
CON: Not much, really

So we roll into DC hoping to see our homie Barack and WTF? He’s at the U.N. then off to Pittsburgh for the G-20? The nerve, especially with all the lobbying VdV has done on his behalf. Wait. Pittsburgh?! R U kidding me? The leaders of the free world (at least some of them) are meeting in…Pittsburgh? Way to build that positive U.S. image! Whatcha gonna do, take ‘em all to a Steelers game? Buy ‘em an all-in-one sandwich? Plus we hear there’s anarchists there! Ha.

Anyhoo, we tasked some locals where to grab dinner in DC. They wanted some guidance. We said, “Have you not heard of VinDivine you bass-ackwards freak?!” OK, that was our internal voice…the look that we sent each other said it all. Verbally, we responded, ever so politely “Mexican or tapas sounds good, and a damn good tequila selection would be a bonus.” So they recommend this place called Oyamel, which serves Mexican small plates. Bam!

So this is a José Andres spot, he’s a D.C star with several spots all with the cool, hip and ‘small plates’ themes. Works for us. This place has a cool vibe, modern design, bright colors, a buzzin’ scene and..these butterfly mobiles everywhere. Well I guess they’re not mobiles. Or they are but they’re large and not made of paper. They’re actually more like hanging sculptures. They’d be light fixtures if they stuck some bulbs on ‘em. Anyhoo, it piqued our curiosity. Then we sacrificed a cat. Never mind. So we had to get to the bottom of this butterfly fetish. And, being VdV we quickly did. Wanna hear it? Then figuratively sit on my lap and here the tale goes:

“Every Fall, millions of Monarch butterflies (butterfly mobile question answered) leave their cocoons in the U.S. and Canada (bummer for those Canadian butterflies…get yer green card, get real and come to the U.S.) and set sail for sunny Mexico. Smart little rascals. Once they arrive in these forests of central Mexico called the Michoacan, they are ready to chill. A little R&R. So they seek refuge in these rare fir trees called…Oyamel“. Oy Vey! There ya go. I could bore you to tears with more detail, but I’ll leave that for the food review. Now get off my lap.

So as we do, with all Mexican places around the globe we test the chips & salsa. The litmus test, kittens! Wait, the first thing we really do is order a margarita. Hells yeah. So like a laser-guided missile I spy Sieta Legaus Repo, which scored Oyamel big points. Great ‘rita, all pure lime juice and strong. Yay!

OK, simultaneously we ordered some Chips & Salsa. How were they? Very good. And thanks for asking. The chips are thin, crispy, very fresh and not greasy at all, almost baked-like. And just the right amount of salt. And the salsa rocked it. Semi-chunky, a nice variety of peppers for some nice heat and just a hint smoky. Yum!

Then, this being a small plate kinda spot, we got busy. First off, the Quesadilla Huitlacoche ($8.50), traditional folded corn tortillas with Oaxaca cheese, corn and black Mexican truffle. Super fresh, the corn tortilla wasn’t a throw away, it actually had great texture and the cheese was mild yet very flavorful with a bit of smoky after taste. The truffles? Well, like Pavlov’s dog every time I hear the word ‘truffle’ I think of real, Italian Truffles and drool like an infant. But I don’t know many dogs who’d spend their day rooting these things up. Hey Mexico: call ‘em Mushrooms. They are great mushrooms, just not good truffles. Just sayin’.

Next! A special that night, the Stuffed Pablano with Pork, Goat Cheese and Apples (10.50). We love stuffed peppers. It’s the one thing Mom VdV could actually pull off. But these truly rocked. The pepper was cooked just right, tender and still smoky with some heat remaining. And the stuffing was like a orchestra playing in your mouth. Ha. No it wasn’t! JHC. Get real. But it was damn good though, and the ingredients worked really well together. The goat cheese, which could have dominated the entire dish, was mild and paired well with the ground pork, tender cooked apples and pablano salsa. Weird thing – they added pomegranate seeds which I think were meant to balance the heat of the pepper. They didn’t really detract, but didn’t add much either.

Last and best of all? The Cayo de hacha con pipián de chile pasilla ($9), of course. That means, if you are one of the 0.0001% of people that don’t speak Spanish (me included), Seared scallops with a pasilla chile and pumpkin seed sauce, orange segments, pumpkin seed oil and toasted pumpkin seeds. Sheeyaaat this stuff took it. Awesome. Really. OK I’ll calm down. It’s only shellfish. Scavengers of the Sea, some would say. But still, the scallops were seared and cooked to perfection, and the sauce was k-i-l-l-e-r. The blend of chile, and the smooth, semi-meaty but sweet flavor of the pumpkin along with the crunch of the pumpkin seeds? Priceless, bitches. Nice, simple and outstanding. This is the go-top meal for Oyamel.

So all in all, excellent mexican tapas, a fun scene, great tequila selection and friendly service. We passed on the grasshopper dish. If you want it, do it and let us know how it was. And to top it all off (not to mention the extra round of ‘ritas,and shot of tequila we had) our server brought us, gratis, two glasses of Mezcal. Hmmm. Do you actually thank someone for that? Not sure. But a nice gesture and it reaffirmed to us that we have not yet ‘acquired’ a taste for this heinous liquid!

VdV Rating: 4

Hours:
Sun-Mon 11:30a-10p
Tue-Thus 11:30a-11:30p
Fri-Sat 11:30a-12a
Sat-Sun Brunch 11:30a-3p

Oyamel

401 7th Street NW (Penn Quarter)
Washington, DC 20004
(202) 628-1005