We replied with something along the lines of “…hey good for you Matteo bring us a slice someday ‘cuz we’re not stepping foot in the East Bay anytime soon. As in never, dude!…” But guess what? Chicken butt! Nevermind, here’s what: as crappy luck would have it, we were forced to make an Ikea run last Friday for some new office furniture (no, not for the already plush VdV headquarters, for the cool new digs of our day jobs). And, Ikea is in Emeryville! What a coinkydink.

So we gassed up the hooptie, packed some water and PB&J sandos, a compass and some flares, increased our life insurance policies and set sail for the EAST BAY!! Clutch my pearls. What lengths will VdV go it for a slice or 5 of killer pie?! I dunno, but crossing the Bay Bridge tested us.

So after a fun-filled 3 hours at Ikea that i won’t even go in to, we mapped out the route to Rotten City Pizza. We only got lost twice. This place is a dive. Yay! And I mean that in the most complementary of all ways. Rotten City is a small place with a dozen or so stools, a glass case housing the pies and a very small kitchen. That’s it, kittens. And that’s all it needs to be. NY-style, bitches!

This fine, sunny Friday, they were offering 4-5 different slices including Funghi (Sauce, Cheese, Creminis, Thyme and Garlic Chips), Pepperoni (ummm, Peperoni) Neapolitan (Cheese & Sauce), and a sexy little Bianco Verde (Mozzarella, Ricotta, Parmigiano, Chili Flakes, Arugula Pesto) number. They have tons of other pies too, these were just the slices they had when we were there. The pies go for the low to mid $20′s the slices are $5 or so.

So Rotten City…the name…what does it mean? Well, pilgrims I guess back in the day, Emeryville wasn’t the toney zip code it is now! Ha. Anyhoo, back then, the Alameda County D.A. or something proclaimed Emeryville as ‘The Rottenest City On The Pacific Coast’. Rottenest? How’d he get voted in with grammar like that? What he was eluding to is that during prohibition Emeryville was somewhat of a den of iniquity. I guess these RCP guys dug the theme and went with it.

Speaking of the guys, very nice dudes, friendly jovial and full of chatter. Cool. Whatever. Let’s get on with the pies. Slices, to be specific. We gorged on slices of the Funghi, Bianco Verde and Pepperoni. All very authentic NY-style thin crust slices. Very thin crust, not crispy but with enough body and texture to do a great jog of holding the toppings. I prefer not to have any corn meal on my crust, but it was still very good. Foldable is the key takeaway. Toppings? Yes, the sauce was fresh, well spiced but I coulda used slightly more oregano. But I’m a pizza bitch! The cheese was well-proportioned, and tasted very fresh indeed. The pepperoni was great and not too greasy, and the way they roasted the Cremini mushrooms prior to baking was excellent! All good.

And I know, I know…the choice of the Bianco Verde (photo above). Don’t be a hater, it looked great! And tasted awesome too, with lotsa creamy ricotta, zesty pesto and, I am scared to say, it may of been our fave. No sauce, basically like a white pizza + pesto. Went great with the tasty micro-brew i can’t recall the name of. You’re welcome.

Bonus alert! These cool dudes whup up onna da best Meatball Subs ($9.50) I’ve ever had. Ever. The roll is perfect, crunchy on outside, and stuffed with a pantload of tasty, tender beef-pork-veal meatballs with a nice spiced sauce and gooey cheese. Word. Go to a pizza place for a meatball sub. Christ that was good.

So bottom line? Well, I had those stalagmites you get on the roof of your mouth after eating things with hot cheese. Yummy! It’s like a badge of honor inside your mouth. OK, real bottom line? I’d risk my life again crossing over to the East bay for another trip to Rotten City Pizza! But if they’d deliver to SoMa in SF it’d be even better (hint, hint).

Oh yeah, buy a hoodie while you’re there, that logo with the chimp carrying a pizza riding a greyhound is awesome!

So we went on a mini-Pizza crawl today in NYC. Constantly searching for the best pie in the best pie town in the Continental U.S. (‘cuz y’all know Hawai’i and Alaska can rock Pizza, gotta leave them out!)

We also know, yeah we know…NYC has it over SF in most things. Not just most things in the culinary sense, just most things. Period. Pizza included. Most of us SF dwellers know and respect, and figure that #2 (AKA first place for losers) is A-OK in this case.

So wanna hear it? Here it goes: Wait. First, after a few hours trapped on the runway at JFK and watching bizzaro TV, I am hooked on ‘Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami‘. OMFG.

OK, other than that, this place, Motorino, has the BEST F’ING PIZZA IN NYC! And maybe the best pie outside of Napoli, Itlay itself. Or herself. Whatever. I can’t keep it straight after the sex change.

Why? So this is messed up. 1/2 way through our crawl, we hit MotoR. We likee. Cool, small spot, narrow and just simply pizza-parlour ish. No Italians here though, all Asian. And just like those Asians rule the automobile, technology and sushi industries that we created, they are now stealing the pizza industry out from under…the Italians! And I don’t care! R&D =Rip Off & Duplicate. Just serve me a kick-ass pie and I’ll shut my pie whole.

So we see this great-looking pie called the Heirloom Tomato Pie ($18), and bark out our order. It arrives. The other J hurls. Why? No Sauce. Bam. And janky cheese. Personally, I thought it was OK, dug the incredible green, red & purple heirlooms and thin crust. But did agree on the cheese, but with a side of sauce I coulda been happy.

But the other J is waaay sharper than I. She said “F this pie it sux ass. Let’s order the Margherita Pizza ($15)  and see if it redeems”. Or something like that. So we order the Margy. And….Holy Crap it is the BEST F’ING MARGY IN THE CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES!

The crust is so thin, and so perfectly blistered it’s not even funny. Perfect. And the tomato sauce is dead-on sweet/spicy San Marzano, and the Mozzarella just-so melted gives the entire pie a wild creamy texture that will rock your world. Almost pornographic. Top that with copious (yes, copious, look it up) amounts of basil and…well, first: Why do so many pizza pie pushers skimp on Basil? I mean, I can buy a bushel of basil for a buck. And VdV, bitches for Key Ingredient Distribution (KPI! Live, Learn it, Love it), get a little bummed and bitchy when pizzialos skimp on the basil. Know what? Do ya, punk?! MotoR brings it! Yee Haw! Lotsa slightly burnt basil too. So good and a magic meal maker. my people.

Bottom line: Go! Yeah, they served us $10 per glass Greco Di Tufo in dixie-cup glasses. But WTF cares?! This Margy pie is da bomb. Go! I said!

Trianon Da Ciro

Pizzeria Trianon Ca Ciro – This one’s in Napoli, not Capri, but close enough. So sue me! Wait, on second thought don’t. Anyway, where Villa Verde gets the award for Best Pizza on the Island of Capri, the pie here is the best pie of the trip. Read our review.  Grade: 5

Aurora – Back in the day, when it was Aurora Pizzeria, this was our fave. A daily go-to for thin crust margy with hot oil and a carafe or three of house wine. Well, the pizza is still very good even though Aurora has gone from Pizzeria to a more upscale restaurant. The cheese is very flavorful, and the tomato sauce has an excellent blend of sweetness with some nice bite from the oregano and garlic. Oh yeah, great crust too! Grade: 4

Villa Verdé

Villa Verdé – Fan-f’ing-tastic Margarita pie. The crust was perfectly thin, with a very slight crisp to it and perfectly blistered. The sauce rocked it, with a slight sweetness from the San Marzanos, and the cheese was  tender Bufala, melted perfectly. The Key Ingredient Distribution of the cheese and sauce was perfection. And the addition of hot oil makes it! Our fave on the island this time around! Grade: 5

La Capannina – This is a cute spot, with a good menu. But, blah pie for most part. Nothing about the crust, sauce or toppings stood out. We wanted it too, we’re looking for a new daily go-to! But, no. Remember, this is a tough grading scale! Grade: 2.5

da Giorgio

da Giorgio – Bam. These guys are solid. Located near the Piazza above Marina Grande (read: Touristica-ville), we always blew right past this spot. But our bud Vincenzo from Casa Morgano (an excellent hotel here), where our pal Barry was staying, hyped it big time and got us in on a busy Saturday night. Bada-bing. In addition to all the awesome non-pizza food we enjoyed, the Margarita Pizza was spot-on. And, the people here are even more fun and cool than usual, and that’s saying something about Italian hospitality. I mean, if an Italian hates you, you’re either 1) French or b) A d-bag. Anyhoo, check it. As with most Great Pies, it’s the basics that make it. Simple, fresh and perfectly cooked. And I liked the way the basil leaves were so randomly tossed on, and right at the end so they were ever-so-slightly softened from the heat of the pie, but still garden fresh. Yum! Grade: 4.5

La Piazzetta

La Piazzetta – Hey itsa great pie. We hit this place every time we’re walking down to Marina Piccola, it’s super laid-back, with a big outdoor terrace. We had a couple pies, one a Margy w/ Mushrooms and one Pomodoro with Arugula. This little place brings it, people. Both pies were excellent, but the Pomodoro, with the sweet little cherry tomatoes and spicy arugula was a real winner. Plus, they put sauce on it. Sometimes when you order a Pomodoro the only tomato is the tomatoes on it, this one had terrific sauce as well. A slight knock for the crust getting just a tennsy weensy too thick near the edges, but that’s it. Hey we’re bitches, you wouldn’t even notice! Grade: 4

Ristorante Sollievo – We’re gonna knock the pie, but I gotta tell ya fella, the rest of the meal was awesome. Anyhoo, this is called ‘Pizza’ roundup for a reason, so here goes. We had the Marinara pizza, and I just didn’t like it that much. The crust was a little chewy, and I guess I just wanted cheese. Yes, yes, I hear you; “Well, don’t order a Marinara Pizza then, dumbass.” But I tried to keep an open mind, and will also defer to my co-tasters. The sauce was a little bitter. Blah! But go for other food, the seafood & pasta dishes are OFF THE HOOK!! Grade: 2.5

They call this a Pizza?!

Capri’s Ristorante – Pizza? You call this Pizza? WTF is this crap? THAT’S NOT A PIZZA!!! Now I’m pissed. Shit, this was our last day too, we got a late start to grabbing lunch and this was the only place we could find still serving. Two words: Buzz Kill. Grade: 1. Wait. Make that 0.

Even the Airport makes a killer pie!

Napoli Airport: Yes, a no-name airport resto. And no, it’s not in Capri. I know! But after being royally bummed about that crap they served us at Capri’s Ristorante, I mean look at that (up and to the right)! Ugh. OK, I’ll get over it. Anyhoo, we were still a bit hungry, so went to the one ‘restaurant’ in the Napoli Airport. They served salads and panini mostly. But we saw one station, completely empty, that ‘said’ they served pizza. Like I said, deserted. No server, no people, no nothing. So I yelled out ‘Pizza!’ and a woman from the salad station walked over. Great, I’m thinking. It’s gonna be a shitty pizza day for VdV. So I order a Margarita Pie and a huge bottle of wine to wash down what I think is gonna be a real loser.

But wait! They make it fresh, I almost wept. She pulled out a ball of dough and went to town on it like a pro, kneading it then tossing it like she’d been doing it for decades. Then ladled on some tangy smelling tomato sauce. Then she grabbed a ball of mozzarella, and tore little chucks off. Same with fresh basil. It made us happy. The crust could have been a little more blistered, but WTF, we’re at an airport! And it helped us end our pizza exploration on an up note after that f’ing horrid pizza (pizza?) at Capri’s Ristorante. Grade: 3

So long story short? Ha. Short. Right! Like I said (or she said), it’s hard to go wrong on this island no matter what you eat and it’s that way with the pies too. Except for Capri’s Ristorante, even a ’3′ beats almost anything you’d find in the States.

Yee haw! The pizza bitches ride again! Performing our civic duty to provide you, loyal VdVers, up-to-the-minute (ok, maybe up-to-the-week…sometimes month) pizza reviews. Anyhoo we hit one of our faves yesterday, A16 to take their pie for a ride. Bareback, kittens!

Shelley Lindgren has done a kick-ass job with this place. As we reviewed a ways back, the ambiance is great, the people are friendly and know their shit, the wine list is excellent with some great values and the menu is loaded with lots of creative and authentic Southern Italian dishes. We like A16.

So with all that, what’d we do this time around? Hello ma…we grabbed a couple seats at the bar and ordered a pie. Damn, when are you going to figure us out?! And some Burrata. And…what else at a classy Italian joint? Some Corn on the Cob, Jethro!

But first – they have an excellent Rosé Asti (bubbly) you have got to try – The Bortolomiol ($10), for a Rosé it is dry, very fine bubbles, an excellent light pink color and delicate notes of peaches and berries. A nice clean finish with good acidity, it pairs well with food or just solo. Awesome! And for $10 bones a glass a great deal to boot.

So, on to the chow. The Burrata ($11), what can I say. You either like this stuff or ya don’t. We likee. A16′s is a generous amount of creamy, tender cheese with just a slight tanginess to it. They dribble some killer EVOO over the top that…makes it over the top. Mmmm Mmmm. I don’t think this stuff is very healthy for you though. But I don’t think it’s the Burrata that’s gonna take me down.

The Corn on the Cob ($6). Yeah I know I know, we weren’t exactly putting the chef through her paces this trip. Lay off! It’s good. We’d have it again.

But we know what you’re waiting for, don’t we? So what’d we think of the pie? Well, we ordered the Margherita, but we’re feelin’ pretty frisky so added Mushrooms and Arugula ($22). That’s just plain nuts! The crust here is awesome. Word. Thin (duh), and they keep it thin all the way to the edge, just getting slightly thicker around the crust. I think it’s some of the best crust around. All pure, no corn meal on this puppy.

After that though the pie went a little downhill. The sauce was not very flavorful this time around. Not sure why, it wasn’t watery or anything, just flat. Maybe some lame San Marzanos. And the Mozzarella, while fresh, was a little skimpy. Don’t skimp, A16! You know us and our Key Ingredient Distribution.

OK, OK and you could argue maybe we just had too many different things on this pie, by adding the shrooms and the arugula. We hear all of you die-hard A16 pizza lovers:  “Maybe all those different tastes confused your shriveled taste buds, huh?” And our response to you: Screw you. There is no way on God’s Green Earth that our highly trained and road-tested taste buds can be called into question!

Wait. We couldn’t end it on that note, so we ordered up the Ricotta Gnocchi in Brodo with Cherry Tomatoes, Garlic and Basil ($10 appy size). These gnocchi are Pillows Of Love, People, Pillows Of Love. Tender as all get-out, plump little numbers and the ricotta was subtle and tasty with the sauce. I mean, they rocked it. Just the right amount of garlic, fresh basil and the cherry tomatoes were super-fresh.

So the verdict? A16 still continues to rock it, but we’re gonna have to keep an eye on the Pizza. Hopefully it was just a fluke of nature and they’ll get it back on track. ‘Cuz you know us and our pizzas, the competition is getting fierce!

VdV Rating: 3.5

Hours:
Wed-Fri 11:30a-2:30p
Sun-Thus 5p-10p
Fri-Sat 5p-11p

A16
2355 Chestnut
San Francisco, CA
(415) 771-2216

I never think of strip mall restaurants in SF. I mean, there’s a few but typically ya find ‘em in Phoenix, Jersey, Daly City, Roseburg and numerous un-named suburbs and crappy little towns. But not Frisco!

But there she is…Hidden like a $1,000 lotto ticket in the gutter…Or the gold coupon in a winning Willy Wonka Chocolate bar…Pazzia.

It’s that unknown, unexpected, and goooood. Word to your mutha.

Why? Well, here’s why and it’s all ya need to know and all ya need to remember. Killer (some of the best in SF after Pizza Nostra and Tony’s) thin crust pizza and a lasagna that’ll make you weak in the knees. I actually think their Lasagna is as good if not better than Idealé, which rocks too. Bam!

The quality of the food here is just f’ing awesome. They are always packed, and for good reason. The service is quick & friendly, the atmosphere which if not ‘Italian’ is buzzing with people, everything is consistent and the menu provides a good selection, is not overwhelming and the Price is Right. Not cheap but very fair and a great value for whatcha get.

So, the pizza. Thin crust, bitches. I mean, THIN. No real ‘crunch’ but slightly crisp, it is thin and soft but still has some body to it. It’s not wimpy crust. And they keep it thin all the way to the edge, they don’t get all lazy and let it get bloated near the outside. How do they do that!? The quality of the crust ingredients is excellent. Perfectly blistered too. And they know how to do it up. The sauce – well, itsa fresh, no? I reckon they are crushing tomatoes in the back of the place, along with fresh basil and oregano right off the vine. And we love love love the toppings. We – surprise! – had 1/2 margherita and 1/2 shroom. The mozzarella was fresh, plenty of it and the basil was there. Nobody outside of Napoli adds as much fresh basil leaves as I like but these guys get it right.

And then, the Lasagna…oh man. LOOK AT IT. Outstanding sauce. Off the vine tomatoes, great basil, oregano, a little thyme and sea salt. Not too involved just straight-on goodness. The noodles? Well, pilgrim, thick, but not too thick noodles, very tender and cooked just right. The ricotta? Shut up. It’s prefect. And then the beef, spice, sauce and more cheese on top…then they bake it for ~10 minutes so it gets that crust on top. We’ll see ya there tonight ‘cuz I just got the need…the need for Pazzia pasta.

They make it then bake it but don’t shake it and then we take it and I don’t mean fake it. So there. Go suckas!!

VdV Rating: 4

Hours:
Mon-Thu 11:30a – 2:30p
Mon-Thu 6p – 10p
Fri. 11:30a – 2:30p
Fri. 6p – 10:30p
Sat 6p – 10:30p

Pazzia Restaurant & Pizzeria (these guys need serious help with a web site! maybe they’ll do it in trade)
337 3rd Street (betw Folsom & Harrison)
San Francisco, CA
(415) 512-1693

Finally! Another good reason to come to lower Potrero Hill besides an Anchor Steam Brewery tour. And if any of ya are saying “VdV, what do you mean? Are you forgetting about the new Whole Foods?” Get A Life. Please.

So when a place puts ‘Nostra’ in it’s name, ya gotta take notice. Even though I think Nostra simply translates  to ‘ours’ does anyone not first think about a horse’s head in the bed? Or the epic line:  “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”

But to be clear, the folks who opened Pizza Nostra – namely Jocelyn Bulow of Chez Papa and Chez Mama fame – just intend Pizza Nostra to mean a humble ‘Our Pizza’.

And although there’s way more than pizza at this place, the almighty pie is what keeps us coming here. Oh yeah, that and the Linguine Con Vongole.

‘Cuz as you know and because we’ve painfully reminded you over and over again, we are pizza bitches and are on the hunt for the best.

So first, this place is located in a small strip mall type of scene literally across from Anchor Steam. And for a strip mall, they’ve done a pretty good job of making it as non-strip mall-ish as they could. There’s bar seating for about 10-12 and tables for another couple dozen. They also have outdoor seating available when the weather permits. And another good thing about P-Hill, they get some of the best weather in SF. There’s lots of natural light, and a comfortable (if not very Italian) atmosphere, and the bar overlooks an open kitchen.

And second, is everyone that works here one of the nicest people ever? From the manager Olivier to the pizzaiolo Giovanni (who BTW finished 6th place in 2007 and 5th place in 2008 in the World Pizza championships in Naples) to the servers, everyone is casual, nice, attentive and very much interested in making sure you have a great meal. Dig it!

So like I said, they have much more than pizza, including a regional menu with a dozen or so Antipasti (some standouts are Meatballs Al Forno w/ Marinara and Parmigiano ($7), Beef Carpaccio w/ Spicy Aioli ($9), and Burrata & Fava Bean Salad ($10)). I love that word…Fava.

Other dishes include: Fresh Salumi ($4), Housemade Potato Gnocchi w/ Veal Bolognese ($14), and drum roll please…

Linguine Con Vongole w/ Tomales Bay Clams, Chili Flakes, White Wine & Parsley! ($16). Damn I wish I had a picture of this dish. It is the best Linguine w/ Clams we’ve had since Capri, Italy. Awesome, tiny, tender clams, with the perfect combo of spicy chili flakes, garlic and white wine. I mean, even if you don’t think you’d like a meal like this, try it. You’ll thank us.

OK, movin’ on. We don’t have all day, people. The Pizza Pie. When you say Naploi style, I take it to mean thin crust. And when you say thin, I want it thin. Paper Thin. Thinner than Sarah Palin’s political CV. Thinner than…you get the idea. Thin.

A little official background: A true Neapolitan pizza must be soft, elastic and easy to fold in two, according to guidelines from the European Union Traditional Pizza Association. It is characterized by its raised, golden crust, soft to the touch and to the lips with the red of the tomato visible through the white spots of the mozzarella the style found at Fratelli La Bufala.

Alrighty then. And I’m tellin’ ya right now, Pizza Nostra NAILS IT. This is one of the best thin-crust pizzas in SF, hands down. We absolutely love this stuff. They have about 12 pies, ranging from the classic Marguerite ($10?!) to the Reine ($12, Tomato, Mozzarella, Ham, Shrooms & Oregano), Caprese ($15, Fresh Tomato, Mozzarella, Proscuitto di Parma & Arugula) and more.

First, the crust. The crust is soft, thin, and bendable without being soggy. Slightly bubbled from the oven. Classic. Gets a little thicker around the edges but not too thick at all. The sauce is killer – fresh tomatoes, not runny, with excellent, mild spices. And the cheese. Oh yeah, baby. Top-rate Bufala Mozzarella that just made me drool writing about it.  Talk about Key Ingredient Distribution (for some background, click here). They don’t scrimp on the good stuff, let’s just say that. Take a look!

Oh yeah, they also have imported gelato, a great Italian wine list with about 30 selections and some scrump-dili-icious Dolce. Try the Espresso Panna Cotta!

VdV Rating: 4.5

Hours:
Mon-Fri 11:30a-2:30p, 5:30p-10:00p
Sat 11a-10p
Sun 12p-10p

Pizza Nostra
300 De Haro Street (betw. 16th & 17th)
San Francisco, CA
(415) 558-9493

Yeah, you know. We’re always on the hunt for killer thin crust ‘za. VdV is insatiable in our quest to find the best pies and slices out there. And some nay sayers would say we’re pizza snobs. Well, we don’t wanna clog our precious arteries with anything but the best.

So we’d heard tons about the wicked-good slices at Arinell’s. “Yo, bro ya want real NY pizza in SF ya gotta try Arinell’s, bro” and all that. Well, bro, maybe ya wanna actually go to NY, try Ray’s, Original Ray’s, Sbarro or just about any other corner pizza joint and Shut Your Pie Hole.

Sorry, there was no need to get all in your face. ‘Cuz you, dear reader, didn’t even talk up Arinell’s in the first
place. Some other wanker did. I think his name was Alex, now that I think of it…I mean, we’re not even talking about comparing a by-the-slice place with the upper echelon of pizza establishments like Lombardi’s or John’s on Bleeker or any other of the dozens of joints (or Tony’s or Pizza Nostra in SF).  OK, I think I’ve framed the review well enough at this point, so let’s commence reviewing:

I’d walked by this place about a zillion times and as much as I like holes-in-the-wall, just kept on walking right by. But
when I went on the Arinell’s hunt, I realized that was the place. Classic stop-in-grab-a-slice-and-go. Love it. There’s some decent places like this all over town. They have the base pie made, then add your toppings, throw it in the oven for  a few and voila, it’s pizza. But I’d heard on more than one occasion that Arinell’s
was different and ‘da bomb.

So I make like all the other folks in the hood, pull my skull cap down a  little low, throw up my hoodie, make sure at least one
tattoo is showing, and approach the little counter and pizza window and bark out an order for a plain slice. Cool, friendly dude behind the counter happily obliges. This little place is a pizza joint. And I mean that in a good way. Down and dirty, kittens!

Small place, room for about 6-7 bar stools facing either wall and that is that. Basic menu posted on a old wooden sign on one wall and a sign on the other wall stating they never use MSG, sugar or even salt  (except for in the dough leavening process). I do like the scene. 

Well, the ‘za came up in a jiffy, served on paper. First, it was a generous slice of pie. About a 1/4 of an entire medium pie. And it didn’t have grease that soaked the entire piece of paper, it was actually pretty dry. Prolly ‘cuz I didn’t add pepperoni.  And it only cost $2.75, which I thought was awesome. But at first glance, I could already tell ya the verdict though. And no, I am NOT being a snob! It looked like any other slab of semi-thin crust you’d get at just about any other pizza joint anywhere.

Then, the bite. The crust was too chewy for only being 1/8″ thick, and had a slightly stale and flavorless taste (can you have a flavorless taste?).  The sauce and cheese, you ask? Hmmm. Really, ‘OK’ is about all I can muster up. Nothing special. No ‘bada bing’. So in addition to looking and smelling like an average pizza joint pie, it tasted like any other average pizza joint pie.

So bottom line, if you’re in the hood with the munchies and hankerin’ for a slice, go for it. Or if you’re in the hood, shitfaced drunk and need some soakage, mange! Or if you can eat carbohydrates with sheer abandon and not pack on a single ounce, enjoy. Or if you really don’t know great NY pizza, knock yourself out – ignorance can be bliss! OK, that was snobby. Hint: maybe try adding pepperoni or something, maybe that would give it the zing it needs.

Oh yeah, cash only, bitches! But at $2.75 hopefully that won’t put the big hurt on your wallet. And if it does there’s an ATM
right out front.

VdV Rating: 2

Hours:
Mon-wed 11:30a-10p
Thus-Sat 11:30a-12a
Sun 1:30p-10p

Arinell Pizza
509 Valencia (betw. 16th & 17th)
San Francisco, CA
(415) 255-1303

We hit this place last night, thought we’d give it, oh, 5 nights of being open to work out the kinks! Hey people, it’s pizza and you know how we feel about the almighty PIE. And I had my sights set high about this place, as they have a fair amount of hype around their Napoli-style ‘za. Bring it, Pulcinella! Can you hang in this ‘hood?

So first, right when we walked in we were greeted by everyone working there. Super gracious, nice cool people for sure. They did a great job of explaining the menu (not that it was complicated) but still, that’s nice of ‘em. They’re painting a pretty involved mural on the back wall, and they had me meet the artist who was working on it at the time. It’s a painting of..come on, guess! I’m waiting…OK, it’s a mural of Napoli with Pulcinella (who is a kind of, sort of god, but playing the ‘comic servant’) gazing over it. Whatever the hell that just meant. Anyhoo, it’ll be a cool looking piece of art when it’s done.

Pulcinella is fairly small, an 8-10 person bar with maybe another 15-16 tables for 2. This place is pretty authentic like a lot of places you would actually go to in Naples or Sorrento, from the music to the tumbled stone floor and little arches between the bar and main dining area. They also shine old Italian movies (no volume) up on the wall. Not trying too hard, just trying to be real, feel me? The owner’s mom even lives in Capri (about a 30 minute boat from Naples) so they know their stuff.

OK, enough HGTV. Let’s get down to bizness. Although they offer pasta and other dishes (like Pasta Vongole, Filet Crudo and Burrata e Proscuitto, which all sounded tasty) we were there for the Napoli-style pizza. So we ordered the Quattro Stagione and the Pulcinella.

So we sat back and ordered a couple glasses of vino while we waited for our pies. Note, they only have one red and one white wine by the glass, they need to fix that. So we drank those. Then we ordered two more. Actually I switched to Peroni. Still no pies. And the place was not crowded when we ordered. Then we saw a table that came in way after us get a table-full of pizzas. No, they didn’t call it in beforehand, you skeptic! Then our dude came over, apologized about the oven not being hot enough (?), and said he’d get the order going and comp us an appy. OK, whatever, cool.

Then we finished round 2 of drinks. After about 15 more minutes the appy appeared – it was the Fritto Misto: a Fried Pumpkin Blossom, Potato Croquette, and a breaded and deep fried spaghetti and ham ‘ball’ (can’t remember what he called it). All pretty good, especially the pumpkin (nice texture and crisp), and the spaghetti & ham ball. Tip: this dish definitely could have used a side of Marinara sauce to liven it up.

We inhaled that in no time, then our dude came back and told us then that he’d fire up our pizzas. Aye aye aye. How did he know we had absolutely nowhere to be?! Lucky. So we order a couple more rounds and…wait. But finally not too very long, about 15 more minutes and the two pies came out. Halle-f’ing-luyah! I mean, Janine had just started to clamp her teeth on my forearm. All in all from the time we ordered to when we got the pies? 1:10…just sayin’.

The Stagione Quattro (pictured here) looked pretty good at first glance (and not just ‘cuz we were starving). I mean, look. It’s a very attractive pie. Very photogenic. 1/4 each with (clockwise from 12:00) ham, mozzarella, olives, and sausage. Bubbled burnt crust, nice colors, etc. It did look way to thick around the edges though. So that’s the visual.

The bite: Man. I hate to be a bitch especially with a new place. The cool thing about this pie is it’s like 4 minis, which will all be unique. Well, the dollops of mozzy were very small. I mean, way too small. The crust, even at it’s thinnest, was still about 1/8″ thick, and got thicker from there. Not crisp, as it should be. And the sauce did not have much flavor. Seemed almost watered down, like the tomatoes weren’t drained well enough. Plus the crust around the edge, at least 3/4″ around was just a waste to us, we just left a ginormous pile of it. That said, the actual sausage and ham tasted good. Next, the Pulcinella, which is Cherry Tomatoes, Sauce and Buffala Mozzarella (we added shrooms) suffered from the same stuff I just kibitzed about above. Ditto. Hey and before you haters get all over us, we shared our pies with 3 other people who echoed our opinions. So take that!

Bottom line we want to like this place but if that’s their take on kick-ass Napoli pizza we’ll stick with Tony’s or Aurora Pizzeria in Capri. And even though the pies took way too long to come out, the fact they were so nice and friendly gets them points. Maybe we’ll try again sometime soon.

VdV Rating: 2.5

Hours:
Sun-Sat 5:30p-10:30p

Pulcinella Pizza & Italian Ristorante
641 Vallejo (betw. Columbus & Stockton)
San Francisco
(415) 829-7312
no website yet

OK, we’re back, and we’re on a pizza crusade, bitches! Tony Gemignani and Bruno DiFabio opened this awesome pizza place on Friday, and it looks like they have what it takes to make a winner out of a great location that’s been cursed by past places like Lou’s at the Square and Le Felce.  Hell, Tony won the 2007 WORLD PIZZA CUP! with his classic Margherita pie. And Bruno owns 6 pizza places on the east coast. Is this a killer duo, bitches? I think so.

Right on the corner of Union and Stockton smack dab in North Beach, Tony’s is a two-room joint. We bellied right up to the bar (doi, you know us right?!) like moths to a flame and grabbed a couple stools. We didn’t even know there was a main dining room until later. Anyhoo, the bar is cool. Old-time authentic mirrored wooden oak bar on the left hand side, and 5 booths running down the other. Kinda weird ‘cuz the booths were all white marble and semi-chic black pleather. Sorta like Gunsmoke meets West Elm. But wait—once we saw that the main room was decked out all new in the same marble and black, we got it!

So first off, the people here are the coolest. No shit. Noble (ex-Bix) is the bar manager and treated us like old buds. When we asked about crust thickness he actually grabbed another couple’s pie from the other end of the bar and showed it to us, so we’d know exactly what we were in for. And, he introduced us to La Pinta. Know what that is, punk? It’s a liqueur made of one of the best Tequilas of all time—Clase Azul, and pomegranate juice. Tasty as is, or is a killer La Pinta Rita that he’ll happily mix for you. Tasty with a spicy pizza pie! And Tony & Bruno, the two owners, were fun, nice and treated us, and everyone it seems, like they’d known us for years. And still liked us;)

But now…on to the pies. They have all styles (Sicilian, Classic, NY Style, etc) about 25-30 in all and you’d wonder if they could pull it all off, if not for the fact that HE WON THE 2007 WORLD PIZZA CUP! ‘Nuff said. They have three different ovens—a gas brick, electric brick and a traditional 900-degree wood burning oven that was the same make and model he used when HE WON THE 2007 WORLD PIZZA CUP! Thought I’d mention that.

So what’d we get? If you have taken notes, you know that we feel the best way to gauge true talent is with the classic, minimal Thin Crust Margherita pie. And we didn’t waver. How was it, you beg? He uses the exact ingredients as his world cup winner, which includes a special type of flour that he doesn’t use for any of his other pies. San Felice flour, San Marzano tomatoes, sea salt, Mozzarella, basil and EVOO from Campania. The crust was very thin, blistered well on the bottom, had excellent Key Ingredient Distribution, a place where we feel Pizzeria Delfina lacks. So K.I.D. means, each of the 6 slices had great, equal amount of sauce, tender, gooey mozzarella, and basil. One thing – I would prefer a little more basil and maybe in larger raw leaf sizes. But as cool as these cats are I’m sure if ya ask, ya get. The crust got a little thick and slightly salty around the edge so that’s a little wasted space IMH (right, humble) O, but once again this is a pie in the traditional sense and who am I to argue with Tony? I mean, HE WON THE 2007 WORLD PIZZA CUP!

Quick side note: Tony only makes 73 of the Classic Margherita pies per day. Yes other places like UrbanDaddy and Thrillist may tell you that fact, but do they go all Wolf Blitzer and ask the hard questions and give you the reason why? ? Well, VdV roots out the whole story for you, so you can feel educated, not just informed;) Tony WON THE 2007 WORLD PIZZA CUP! on June 13. Figure it out yet?! Damn you are a brilliant bunch, aren’t you? Yes, the 73 comes from 6/13. As in 6+1 = 7 and put the 3 on the end = 73.  That’s why. Lesson: Get there before he hits 73 for the day.

And here’s the even cooler part—we were talkin’ with Tony & Bruno about our pizza passion, about NY pies vs. west coast, etc., and about John’s Pizza in NYC. Tony got all animated and said “Wait here, I’ll be right back!” and in about 15 minutes brought us out one of his Original Tomato Pies, New York style. On the house! How cool was that, and he didn’t even know he was dealing with the people who could put him on the map, VinDivine! This pie is classic NYC. Crispy, slightly thicker crust than the Marg, with mozzarella on the bottom and the sauce on top. It gives the pie a smoky and slightly sweet quality, which along with the oregano and garlic the result is awesome. Janine actually liked this one betta than the Marg. I couldn’t decide, I just snarfed every last bit of both of ‘em.

And if you are a barfly type like us, make sure to at least poke your noggin in the main room. The wood-burner oven is front and center and you can watch Tony toss his crusts. You know what I mean. He’s an 8-time pizza-tossing champion and really gets into it.

We award Tony’s a solid 9 out of 10. And you know what bitches we are about pizza!

VdV Rating: 4.5

Hours:
Wed-Sun 12p-10p (or “’til the party ends”)

Tony’s Pizza Napoletana
1570 Stockton St (@ Union)
San Francisco, CA
(415) 835.9888

So we’re sitting at our now defunct favorite Mexican restaurant in Tahoe City complaining like whiney little bitches about how bad WC Pizza usually is, as we do, when our Tahoan friend Jason exclaims “Wait a minute, that means you guys have never been to Peluso’s!” “Excuse us? Could there actually be a great pizza place in, of all places, Kings Beach?” I mean we did just add a “West Shore” category to the VdV blog.

He tells us a campfire story of a place not far away in a land where good EC style pizza is lovingly hand made by people who know pizza, right outta…New Haven! You thought I was gonna say Brooklyn huh? Nope! After all, if you’re not a Pole in CT, you’re a Wop (and I found out it doesn’t mean ‘without papers’ btw.  And those New Haveners even got their own yummy style. Jason goes on to tell us it’s so small you can drive right by it. It’s a tiny room with one sign on the front and a window you order through. Cash only. You wanna go inside on a cold day to warm up and wait? NO! Git inside your car sucka there ain’t no “inside” here.

So we make our way around the lake, drive by it once, turn around, drive up, park. Try to go inside, wait, it’s a nail place. The pizza window wasn’t open. Bummer! How could they be closed, it’s only 28 degrees out and snowing. So we head out to a crappy place to eat up the road for acky wings.

Were we gonna give up? Were we gonna let this stop us? HELL NO! Back to the elusive Peluso’s we go. Pull up, and bang on the closed window. It opens! We ask the cool, stoner guy inside if they were open and he proceeds to tell us the rundown of their weekly hours in each season. NO, ARE YOU OPEN NOW? Yes? We’ll take a sliceapepperoni and a sliceacheese.

This pizza is music to your mouth. Big huge slabs of slices, looked like they coulda been a quarter of a 16″ pie, very different from the gourmet style you scarf at Pizza Nostro, A16 or Pazzia but equally as good. We couldn’t even wait to take the picture before we started in!

PUT THE PIZZA DOWN AND BACK AWAY FROM THE BOX FOR ONE F-ING SECOND. CLICK! OK BACK AT IT.

Overkill on the pepperoni? Bring it. Killer sauce and cheese all the way to the edges? Yes. Want some real New Haven style? Order the white clam slice, it’s amazing! Hold the pineapple and ham please.

VdV Rating: 3.5

Hours:
Basically when they want to be! Call.

Peluso’s Pizza
8160 N. Lake Blvd
King’s Beach, CA
(530) 546.2301