Les Ombres – Paris
27 Quai Branly
Paris , France 75007
01 47 53 68 00
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VdV Rating: 3
Food: French
PRO: Excellent views of Eiffel Tower, outside terrace, beautifully presented food, romantiqué
CON: Some dishes are a little too fancy for their own good and the flavors didn’t meld
So our awesome foodie friends Bob & Jane, who know Paris like the back of their hands, highly recommended Les Ombres to us. And VdV Does Not Argue with Bob & Jane. Period. They Know Their Shit, feel me? So, we phoned our dude Sanjay at the hotel we typically stay in, and told him to hook us up À tout de suite. Getting a resie at this place is a pretty hot ticket right now, and is located in the beautiful Museé du Quai Branly, in the 7th just off the Seine. Branly had an incredible African art exhibit BTW. Highly recommended by VdV. Tons of ancient masks, intricate wood carvings…but hell, let’s get serious: y’all don’t come here to expand your knowledge of African culture!
So, first off, Festus. It’s not pronounced ‘LAZE HAHM-BRAZE’, you annoying Texan tourist. They didn’t name this for the Spanish meaning for a dude, OK? But wait. It’s also not ‘LEZ AHM-BREH’. Yep, that’s what I thought, Francophile that I am. Dumbass. It’s pronounced ‘LEZ AHM’. WTF happened to the last 4 letters, 3 of ‘em consonants?! Those crazy French! FYI, translation is ‘The Shadows’, prolly because it is in the shadows of the Eiffel Tower.
The restaurant is located on the roof of the museum, full of windows and great views, especially of the Eiffel Tower, but also a good part of the Right Bank as well (nothing like Le Jules Verne, but in a city of relatively few high rises still offers some awesome panoramas), and you can walk out on the roof terrace as well. Gee whiz, was that a run-on sentence for the ages, or what? Weather permitting they also serve outdoors (but don’t quote me on that).
So after we knocked back a couple pops, we ordered din din. Wanna hear about it? Here it goes!
Wild Sea Bass Ceviche (29 Euro), with Green Mango and Shiso. Although the bass was very fresh, it was served in huge slabs, and I like my ceviche prepared more finely cut. Wish I had a photo of it, but really, the presentation might have been ‘elegant’ but not that appetizing. The shiso was good, and did make for a nice balance with the fish. Overall though, we weren’t very impressed. No, we’re not to the level of Ceviche Bitches (yet), but we know our shit!
Next, the Crunchy Vegetables Salade (25 Euro), with Smoked Sesame Salt & Truffle Oil. Good, fresh veggies including mushrooms (fortunately not crunchy), legumes, cherry tomatoes, carrots, zucchini, pearl onions, even turnip served on a bed of arugula and friseé. It was served with a nice, light vinaigrette, and was overall a very tasty salad and I dug the smoked sesame salt. Worth $30 bones? Without a big ‘ol chuck of steak, hells no! But you don’t come here for a Full Meal Deal, kittens.
For entreés, we had the Ferra Filet (28 Euro), with Creamy Onions, Beans & Tarragon Brioche. What? Ya don’t know what Ferra is, you cretin? Ha, we had no clue either. It’s a firm white fish from local waters in Switzerland and France. It came fried, and again was a very pretty little dish. But I tell ya, the fish was devoid (yes, devoid) of flavor! Without the sweet Tarragon Brioche it laid on, it would have been like eating air. Air that you chew, but still air. The creamy onions and green beans did have nice flavor though, and all put together made for a pretty good bite.
Next, the Lapin Paella (32 Euro), with Chorizo, Mussels & Prawns. That’s right – we ate Bugs! Hey at least it wasn’t Chevel. But, why oh why do they demand on pronouncing this dish ‘PI-ELLA’. It’s PI-A-YAH. Two Ls means you do not pronounce the L, it turns into a ‘YAH’. That’s right – screw you Gordon Ramsey I think you started it, or are at least propogating this bastardized version of its pronunciation!
Wow, who was on acid when they designed this bad boy? I mean, take a gander: This is messed up! In an impressive way. I guess this is what they mean by ‘gastronomiqué’! Sure, visually it was like seeing Paella in a museum, but I dunno, once broken down for bites, it just didn’t turn me on. The texture of the risotta perhaps. I mean, after a couple sophisticated bites, I went in like a butcher and mixed everything up into a nice maché, but the flavors didn’t all come together for me although individually you couldn’t really knock any individual component (except for the risotto).
We passed on the ‘Piece of Pig’, but I did love that menu name. Wait, here’s what it is, straight from the menu: Piece of pig : mignon fillet, foot and cheek. Braised leeks and juice-flavoured licorice. Say what? ‘juice-flavoured licorice’? Not to mention ‘Foot’. Anyway, if you’ve had it let us know!
Ding ding dessert time! Tartine Au Citron (13 euro), or, as the menu stated: The Lemon Tart
As We Imagine. Okey dokey. Anyhoo, it was ab-fab. Hell, it’s a Lemon Tart, people! The other J’s fave dessert I think, of all time. She digs Lemon Tart, in any language. And Tartine Au Citron sounds pretty sexy. It was pretty f’ing awesome, as I mentioned, perfectly sweet but not too sweet, great textures, obviously assembled by a dessert artisté as well. Sorry the pic is kinda dark, it doesn’t do it justice.
Along with the meal? A very nice 2006 Meursault Tillets (90 Euro) from Burgundy. A very well-made white, with excellent viscosity and mouthfeel, flavors of apple and pear and all-in-all a great accompaniment to the meal.
So would we recommend Les Ombres? Well, yes. It wasn’t as mind-blowing as we built it up to be, but 1) they put a ton of effort and care into each dish b) it is a pretty romantic spot 3) shit what was 3? Oh yeah, they get a ton of great reviews, so maybe we were just in the mood for something a bit more down to earth that night, or we just don’t know what we’re talking about! Either way, we’d probably give it another go!
