VinDivine - Living it Up John & Janine Style

An Open Letter to K&L Human Resources

Dear K&L HR,

It's me. Your favorite Mystery Shopper. I don't ask for a dime. Just your consistent, enduring snobbery. And for that I thank you. Hell, what else would I jabber about?!

Sooo. Time stamp this one K&L HR: Friday July 18 3:19-3:27 PM PST. SOMA branch. No one can buy a mixed case faster than me! Especially because no one ever bothers to interrupt me to see if I need help! Or bothers with idle chit-chat at the checkout line. Time-suckers like 'Hi there", "Did you find everything OK" and "Thanks, come again" are so superficial and they downright invade my personal space. Glad you understand. If I ever have to visit Stalingrad I'll come here first for some immersion training.

So why, with all this bitching, do I pull out a baseball statistic ".500" for today's visit? Well, 'cuz one person was quite friendly and one was a dismissive prick. That's why.:) Hey, you asked.

So, back to you, HR: You have a slightly older gentleman that was working this shift. Gray/white hair, spectacles, and a beard...Holy crap you hired Santa Claus! Oh. Nevermind. That was silly. Anyhoo this guy was very nice, asked if he could help me and created a less-than-icy situation at the check out. 'Cuz the dude that rang me up - back to physical descriptions here.

BTW HR, why don't you make your people wear name tags?! It'd be so much easier! Hmmm, maybe a symptom of a deeper issue...Well, enough of my armchair psychiatry. So the checker whisked in (no one was behind the counter), didn't even look at me or utter a word, and just started ringing up the bottles. 'Robotic' comes to mind. Oh yeah, the physical description! Ha. Lost myself for a second. Tall, 'bout 6' I'd guess, mid-30's, spends too much time getting that hair coiffed, little earring in the right lobe. Oh, one last detail I almost forgot. Gender = male. That may help you nail it down.

But like Santa swooping down on a snowy rooftop to bring cheer to the kiddies, your star employee that previously offered help came right over, discussed the wines and foods they went with as he was boxing them (although he fell kinda silent when he saw the $9 bottle of Bogle) and...wait for it...offered to help lug it out to the car! Kudos, nice person without a name tag so I cannot give you real props!

Two takeaways today, HR:
1) As I have asked before, talk to Finance and free up a few bucks for a couple more mini-shopping carts. It will have a positive ROI.
2) Batting .500 might earn ya  a Ty Cobb award in baseball, but it's a pretty crappy standard for a business!

Local Kitchen & Wine Market

Yeah that's right. We waited for the dust to settle on this one. Local shmokal, we said. If it survives beyond 6 months we'll check it out. I mean, we are a busy, dynamic duo, in-demand troupe. As you are well aware. So on day 181, 'ol J&J and our fresh-back from Manchu Picchu friend Candida stormed the place Saturday night. And without a resie! Clutch my pearls. Anyhoo, we dug this place from the get-go. And even though they were crowded the hostess was cool and assured us we'd get a table pronto. And we weren't even wearing our VdV blazers. How Did She Know?! Are we that famous? LOL.

Sooo, after waving at Claus, the guy we know from 21A that really talks this place up and getting ZERO recognition from the rat bastard and making us feel pathetic for making a big deal about saying "oh that's Claus! Hi Claus...HI CLAUS!!!" and getting no love we slinked (slunked?) around back to the bar.

The layout here is pretty groovy. Cool. Sorry I'm not in the mood to get into it any more than that. So we find 2 seats at the bar, a couple people leave and we pounce and decide to just eat there instead of waiting for the table Claus still has not vacated. And it was all good except for the bloated self-important bartender-who-knows-all is a d-bag and completely (or at least sorta) condescending about how he knows all about the 'daily rotating' wine list and we know shit. Just about when I was gonna introduce him to Mr. Knuckly and my 5-year old biz card from wine.com, J calms me with a flirty little Albarino. Mmmm. Nice.  A pretty nice wine list to boot. Saved that bartender's ass, let me tell ya.

The menu is hot to trot as well, especially if you think 'wine bar' vs. 'gastronomica'. That's right. 5 syllables. Check it. Anyway, they have a great selection of semi-thin crust pizzas, we had the Margarita Pizza. Great sauce, and BUFALA mozzie to boot. Only hint - put large, full basil leaves on top (look left...do you see large, full basil leaves on top?!).

Then JP and I shared the Organic Chicken w/ Panzanella. Two great tastes that taste great together. Killer roti bird with panzanella - and y'all dunno what that is, it's bread salad, and in this particular case with balsamic red onions, heirloom tomatoes and arugula. Yeah baby.

I have absolutely NO recollection of what Candi ate, but she seemed happy. Hell, after eating weeds and porridge in South America for 2 weeks I guess the bar was set pretty low! Ha. But no disrespect to the Local, this place is solid.

A few other enu stand-outs: Truffle & Parmesan Fries, Coppa & Pepperoni Pizza; Croque Monsieur; and a kick-ass brunch. Go guurrllll.

The take-away? I give this place a solid 7.5, maybe an 8. Coulda gone to an 8.5 without the 'tude from the 'tender. Oh well. I do think it may have been flukely and overall the people are cool. Go! And if you get that d-bag bartender, just ignore him and have an extra glass of wine. It gets pretty fun to make fun of him!

Flying tips from J&J

So we just got in from a marathon flight from JFK to SFO on Virgin America. JHC the jet stream musta been in overdrive it seemed like 6 1/2 hours. Plus it took off about an hour late to boot. Anyhoo, I'm not gonna  whine about all the cheap overpriced wine we drank. Not even gonna whine about the one-armed old man sitting next to me that asked me to 'buckle him in' every time he returned to his seat. Hell I'm not even gonna whine about the TVs being on the fritz during the Italy-Spain match on the way out. Nope. No sirree. That's not what you're here for.

We love Virgin America. Not as kick-ass as Virgin Atlantic, but then again they don't require that you fly into Heathrow either. Virgin America is the new 'Blue', and it's the first time we cheated on Blue to get from Sf to NY. Cool mood lighting, awesome entertainment mod called Red, and dirt cheap to boot! Groovy experience all-in-all. So we have not one, but TWO tips for you today!

1. Seating: Yeah you can score pretty cheap 1st class sometimes, but whatever. It's easy to see those when you book online. We're gonna tell you where NEVER to sit. Ready for it?? Row 8. Holy crap what a agonizing experience. I mean, I'm only 5' 8" and a buck-fifty and I felt like human origami trying to fit. My tall drink o' water babe Janine was folded up like a yoga instructor. It's just before the first exit row, so the seats don't recline, you get zero legroom in that part of the plane anyway, PLUS row 7 basically reclines onto your lap. And not in a sexy way.
2. Food: I dig you can order whenever you want. Cool beans. Get the Turkey-Bacon wrap (mmmm) and the Antipasti plate. Both killer for plane food.
3. There is no three! If you were reading before, I said two!

Well that's it for now, sorry for the random post but I had to get that off my chest!

2005 Sequel Syrah

I know what you're thinking: 'Syrah? How desperate were you guys?! Must've been down to that or the 40 of Olde English in the back of the fridge!" Yep, any 'o you VdVers that follow us know we don't have a ton of praise for most of this varietal, reminiscent of Vick's Formula 44 in at least color and finish. Eww.

But I went into a great wine shop the other day (Ha, I can almost hear the K&L people's anticipation: "We made it! They really do like us!" Nope, suckas it's Time for Wine in Tahoe City. If they had a website I would link to them) to get a gift for a Syrah fan, and figured "hey I like the label on this one." That's right, even stewards of the wine-tasting world like us are not immune to a great label to help make the buying decision.

Hey, this Columbia Valley (that's in Washington) wine is pretty damned good! Beats the pants off of just about any Aussie Shiraz I've had, that is 4 sure. Why? Well grab a drink, pay attention and I'll tell ya!

This puppy is refined for a Syrah. So many are hot, over-extracted with awful taste. The Sequel is loaded with dark cherries and chocolate, but with great balance and minerality. And slightly oaky tannins that don't overpower the fruit. I know only rookies typically use the term 'smooth' to compliment a wine, but I cannot resist (or maybe as some of you more snarky types have accused, maybe I am just a rookie!).

This wine is made by the same winemaker that made the legendary Penfold's Grange for fifteen years - John Duval. Glad ya learned a few things and made a tamer, more well-rounded wine this time around, Duval!

Oh yeah, that 'gift' never made it to its recipient! Bad for him, good for us!

Goes for about $50 bones. And like Time for Wine, Sequel doesn't seem to have a website either! Google it, you'll find a retailer to get it from.

The Alcoholics Guide To Austin

I mean, why else would anyone visit this barren, Bush-infested hellhole of a state if not for Austin?! Wird. One of the J's actually did some time here (no, not in a prison lock down or in Waco, it was semi-voluntary) a few years back so We Speak From Experience. As y'all know, bitches!

Anyhoo, so we had a decision to make last weekend - I was in L.A. and the the other J was in Austin, we're both yip-yappin' in front of people about our respective bidnesses. People actually pay us for that stuff (as opposed to our VdV gig...look for a Tip Jar soon). So, do we stretch the  weekend in smelL-A or George Bush's backyard? I can almost smell your anticipation...and your disgust as I say...and my disgust as I smell your anticipation (eww)...yippee kiy yay Mo-Fo we mosied on in to Austin! Yee Haw! Texas that is, big hair, fake boobs, flop sweat and fortunately home to an oasis called Austin.

But I'm tellin ya here and now, as gospel..AUSTIN ROCKS. This town is the f'ing bomb! Holy crap. We LOVE IT HERE. And it wasn't even SXSW or Austin City Limits. This was just a typical kiln-hot weekend. That's all. I mean, some of the most friendly and cool peeps, sun, tons o' (air conditioned) bars and...oh yeah that live music scene. Jesus H Christ.

So let's break it down. We want to make sure you don't make a wrong turn and waste any timing lookin' when ya could be drinkin'! This is a loooong post but like they say, everything's bigger in Texas! So here's the 411 on the 512:

• Stay: The Driskill (until the W opens in a couple years in the warehouse district). 2 words - Old School Texas. For lack of a better word, 'Grand' comes to mind. Not really J&J's style but it's nice, located right off 6th (read: New Orleans-ish party street) and supposedly occupied by ghosts! Hard as I tried though I couldn't scare one up.
• Breakfast: B'fast?! Like we get up in time! Room service, sucka!
• Lunch: Now we're talkin'! Hit Cantina Laredo for some scrump-dili-ishous tex mex. Try the Botanas Platter (we're usually not platter people but this is all killer no filler) loaded with yummy stuff including Pork tacos, chicken quesadilla, chili con queso (mmmm...cheese) stuffed jalepeños and beef, shrimp and veggie skewers. Christ that's a mouthful even to say! And it's only $14 to boot. Also good, the Soft Tacos and...you guessed it that's why we ate lunch here both days, the Chips & Salsa! Oh yeah, and they mix a kick-ass 'rita (even 5 or 6!)
  
• Drinks: (Most of these are located off 4th in the cool, hip little-more-upscale area than 6th street)
  
  • For solid live blues, hit the classic in Austin, the Continental Club baby! Small, dark (and I don't think ya want to be there when the lights come on if you get my drift) bar with a little bit of dancing room. Awesome. We saw the Blues Specialists, they kicked ass. This place isn't in the WHD, it's just across the river.
  • Screw Texas, wanna taste of Havana? Check out Cuba Libre for a cool vibe, pretty people and a killer Mojito!
  • Molotov. Well, how can you not go to a place with a cool name like that?!  Funny thing is, a friend of a friend of mine called me and gave me a couple insider places to go - he mentioned this place, but I thought he said Mullet Top. What a retard. I wondered why the taxi driver gave me such a weird look when I told her to take me there. Fun night spot, groovy and modern. Ask for Brian he's the owner and super-cool dude, we had a couple shots with him. And I like the little molotov cocktail that follows your mouse pointer around on the website - I just couldn't figure out how to throw it! And when you go, get a Molotov t-shirt. And get one for me too, size M, I spaced out and forget to buy one.
  • For a rat-pack classic vibe you have to hit Belmont. We love love loved this place. It's only a couple years old but you would swear that Sinatra prolly hung there. Dark, retro-clubby, and A/C that'll freeze your nipples off. I can't even count how many Vodkas we downed at this place - go! Ask for Dave he was awesome.
  • Ya gotta give props to Lance A., so hit Six Lounge. This is a cool warehous-ey spot in the...you guessed it...in the warehouse district!
  • Hey let's make our way around the world, eh? Cuba, Mexico, Vegas retro, Russia, and now...Ireland! Hit Fado one of the most authentic Irish pubs I've caught a buzz in for a long time. This place is insane, I think they actually brought pieces of 3-4 different Irish pubs over on a barge and re-assembled them here. Get a Guinness of course!
• Supper (that's what they call it down here). We scored both nights.
  
  • Some of the best sushi ever at Uchi. "WTF, you proclaim? Are you on crack? Austin is landlocked!" Noper, and we were kinda skeptical as well. But we rolled them dice and god damn if we didn't come up boxcars. It's a Japanese Fusion style place, very hip, full 'o pretty people. Sleek, dark design and the chef is an Iron Chef winner I think. Awesome, creative rolls, excellent sashimi, and what rocked Janine's world? Wagyu Beef 'Sushi'! Woo Hoo!
  • Visiting Texas without eating BBQ is like...well...nothing comes to mind right now but you get it. And Lambert's Downtown BBQ serves up some killer BBQ! What'd we pig out on? Spicy Deviled Eggs, Green Chile Cheese Grits (mmmm, grits!), then we moved on to Oak-smoked Maple Crusted Pork Ribs and Oak-smoked Achiote & Lime Rubbed Chicken. Dessert? No f'ing way!

• Sideshow: It gets a tad hot down in these parts, and the cool thing is there's rivers and lakes everywhere. The place we like? Barton Springs. It is literally a mile or so from downtown Austin, and is an awesome place to hang out and dip into some ice-cold H2O.
• Shopping: Hells yeah, this is a complete blog post!
• Hip duds for guys and chicks at Estilo, in the warehouse district. I scored HUGE with some Modern Amusement stuff all 40% off! Yeowsa. Janine didn't make out quite as well, but it's about time more places carry cool guy's stuff!
• Mellow Jonnhy's! Even if you're not in the market for a bike, stop by Lance's other spot and pick up an uber-cool Mellow Johnny's T!

OK, if that doesn't keep y'all busy and buzzed for a couple days, we're scared! Oh yeah, a big +: JetBlue flies direct from SFO!

Veña Godeval Cosecha

Well, hello there sexy. Yeah I'm talkin' to you. You are sexy. Say it with me: "I am a sexy animal". Feels good doesn't it? Wait, before we get carried away, maybe I just have wine goggles on. 'Cuz I just polished off a bottle of killer wine that you've never heard of. Betcha. Even you, Gants!

Let me introduce to your fizzled taste buds (it's Sunday, we know how y'all party on the weekends!) the 2005 model of Cosecha from Veña Godeval. Yummy. First A couple facts - 1) This is a white wine (people in the know would say 'blanco'). So, I'll say Blanco, you can keep calling it White Wine. Oops, I just got snarky...I hear I get that way sometimes. 2) This Blanco hails from Spain, one of my fave fave fave regions these days. Where in Spain? Hell if I know, somewhere named Galicia, I think in Northwest Spain. Whatever,  Google Map it if you care that much. This isn't geography class.

So what makes this wine yummy?

It's good. That's it...JHC, you need more detail?! My word isn't good enough anymore? Fine then:

Well, characteristic of many Blancos, this Cosecha has a crisp minerality that is just so fresh and clean.  Wait, isn't that an Outkast tune? Anyhoo, the Cosecha has bright pear flavors, a little green apple,  with a very very subtle pine note. No shit! The acidity is perfect, not so much it makes you pucker but tight enough to make you smack your lips.

Where to find this wine? Well, our buddy Brian Reccow, who started Thirsty Bear and is the owner of Sol y Lago in Tahoe City, gave us a bottle. So I think you need to drag your carcass here to SyL and get yerself some. Rockin' tapas, killer tacos, get the SyL Margarita, and the...wait for it...BEST chips & homemade salsa on the Lake. Get there Pronto! Chill - we're gonna blog SyL next!

Dam Café - Lake Tahoe

If you've ever been to Tahoe City there is no way you don't know about the Dam Cafe. Yes it's right next to Fanny Bridge where tourists lean over to look at enormous trout, and all you see is a bunch of ass crack. Oh and yes, a dam. And then you can debate what's bigger - the fish or the grotesquely huge ASS CRACK. I got two bits on the A.C.

Anyways, this place is very cute, kitschy, very tiny but very freakin' good. Jen & Glenn are the absolute coolest most laid-back happy people ever born. That's right, I said it. They Live It. And, the people that work there are super charming too, all super granola straight outta Eugene Orygun if ya didn't know any better. But they have amazing stuff here, kick ass b'fast and lunch grub. We hit it EVERYTIME we're here for b'fast at least one mornin'. And you should too.

Here's the skinny:

• They serve Illy coffee here. I'll have a double non-fat, half caf, extra foam, 3-shot...wait...what the hell am I even saying? 
• They bake cookies and pastries, don't ship 'em in from some offsite pastry farm where this stuff is cooked by oompa loompas. They Cook Them On-Premise. How official...and tasty.
  
• Kick-ass bagels, with so many options you KNOW there was some funny shit gettin' smoked when the menu was created.
• Sandwiches are OTH, very fresh. Cold, hot, room temp. Whatever. It's all guuud.
• They serve wine and beer. Nuff said.
  
• Yummy smoothies.
• Best breakfast burrito around - meat or veggie. We get our veggie sans avo. Why the hell is avo on everything in California, isn't it pricey?

Funny thing: A Tahoe 2nd homeowner (BTW, prolly with a big pine branch up her ass) once wrote into the Tahoe City Newspaper about how all of the people that live here are a bunch of "Low Life Locals". Ouch. Tahoe folks went mad. Rightly so since so many of them work at establishments that make this biotche's home valuable.  Now it's an official local movement empowering the community. So the folks at the Dam Cafe had a ton of 'I'm A Low Life Local' t-shirts printed up!

Stop in and get one! Tell them "Veggie burrito, no avocado, large drip + caramel syrup" sent ya! And oh yeah, smoke 'em if ya got 'em.

Straits Café - SOMA

That's right, we eat at a mall, a kick-ass mall here in San Francisco that is. We've spoken about the Lark Creek Steakhouse in the mall, freakin' awesome cow. Hey, one of the best movies ever made had a buncha kids that worked at the mall: Fast Times at Ridgemont High. It's that magical place where Stacey Hamilton and Mark Ratner "fell in love" before the sl*t got knocked up by that slime Damone. I digress. Ya momma's alright, ya daddy's alright, they just seem a little bit weird...surrender. Ok, I'll stop.

Now it's time to tell all you VdVers about Lark Creek's neighbor Strait's Café. This place is rockin', even before we found out that our friend Lawrence usta work there a long time ago. Apparently it doubles as a "club" in the evening with a live DJ but seriously we'll go as far as to DRINK & EAT at the mall, (as long as it's not in the food court) but we certainly ain't "hangin'" at the mall at night. That's for the ole' bridge and tunnelers. What, It's true.

The question is: Would I go there if I wasn't going to the mall? The answer is: Probably not, but it's a DAMN good place to break up the shoppin' day. Takes the sting outta spending large ya know?

Apparently it's a chain, 5 spots, mostly in the Bay Area but one in the ATL. (Gotta love the ATL btw, at the airport the bartender asked us if we wanted our wine in to-go cups to take on the plane. Wow.)  Great small plates at this happenin' spot. The chicken wings are a bit weird though. You know when they take the chicken off the bone, mash it up and put it back on cuz they think you think it's cool? Well it's not. Creeps me out actually. The rest of the bar menu rocks. Go there, knock back a few, nosh and get yer shop on!

Straits Cafe
Westfield - San Francisco Center
845 Market St. $th Floor
San Francisco, CA 94103
415-668-1783
Valet Parking available on Mission St. Side

Za Pizza - Russian Hill

In my NY not-so-humble opinion there ain't THAT many good pizza joints in SF. Bagels suck too for that matter. Get H&H overnighted from NYC. I think it's the water in the dough but that's another conversation. Za Pizza is a great place to knock back a slice and a beer in this neighborhood spot on Russian Hill! This place comes somewhat close to a tiny NYC hole-in-the-wall, without smelly pizza guys from Italy throwing the dough in the air of course.  We usta go in here and wait for our pups to get a good washin' at the Russian Hill Dog Groomers. Leonard is the man there. Brooks is the man behind Za.

The slices of pie are gynormous, they have a specialty they call the Potesto Pizza. Slices of potatoes and pesto sauce drippin' all over the place. Yum. And thin-crust too. Not like our thick late-night drunky Golden Boy slabs,  but that pizza is for soakage, this is for tastage. We get any pizza with onions and mushrooms but they have some fun-named pizza like the Vincent van Dough (fresh roma tomatoes, basil & garlic) and the Salvador Dali (chicken, sun-dried tomatoes, pesto &  tomato sauce...mmmmm). Get a salad, any salad. Also huge. Feels like the never-ending plate of greens. Good though. Wine is so-so but they've got great beers on tap. Don't get delivery, by the time you get it it's too cold, soggy, tough. You gotta go there and pick it up.

Hint: If you eat outside at one of the two tables on the hilly sidewalk, watch out for the pups that go into get groomed next door. Pee flows downhill people. Pick up yer feet!

They don't have a website so check out Za on CitySearch. Buck up for the site guys!

Za Pizza
1919 Hyde St. (Green St.)
San Francisco, CA 94109
415-771-3100
Parking is tough, it's on the cable car line.

Orbit In - Palm Springs

Aloha! Mahalo! Or as Janine would prefer to say, Manolo (as in Blahnik for all you Birkenstock-wearing shoe haters). Nope we're not in Hawaii, kittens. We are in Palm Springs, but it kinda has that feel. 'Cept for that whole 'being surrounded by water' part that is. Anyhoo, it is hot here, and it is hot in Hawaii. So shut your pie hole and just read.

So, we snuck down here to Palm Springs for a couple days of heat and R&R, as we've both been hittin' it hard lately (and I'm not talking the bottle). If you haven't been here, the rumors are true. No not that one about the heat. That's not a rumor. It gets kiln hot here. Think Old and think Gay. Yes there are plenty of old people, plenty of gay people, and plenty of old + gay people:

Bottom line, if ya can't deal, make your getaway plans for somewhere else, East Bay. Ha. Just joshin' with ya, all ya lovers from Concord, Walnut Creek, Pleasant Hell, I mean Hill, Oakland (oh yeah, don't wanna piss off any of my homies from o-town), and Stockton...wait a minute let's skip Stockton. Skip Fresno too.

This place is f'ing Fantabulous. J&J will put down roots in this barren, hell-hot oasis, mark my words. Now go make some money Janine! I mean P.S. is all about '50s rat-pack, mid-century modernism, hedonism and all those other good isms. It's an hour or so cheap flight from SFO, and...wait for it...your fave hotel snobs J&J stayed in a...oh god I can barely say or type it. Nope, contrary to our Modus Operandi, we didn't do a Viceroy or Palmer resie...we went Old School and WENT chillin' at the uber-retro-cool Orbit In, bitches! Think Roadside Motel, people. Think Sinatra and the Rat Pack. Think Twister! Think martinis and any beverage that needs to be poured out of a shaker.

That's right. What took us so f'ing long to grace this place with our presence?! Right off that bat, you fly into an outdoor airport. Then a $10 - 10 minute ride to downtown. Then check into a rockin' cool motel, which there are oodles of, but Orbit In takes it IMO. 8-9 rooms, we got a miniscule room but still doable. Everything centers around the cool pool and outdoor bar anyway. And they pump Sinatra bascially 24x7 by the pool.

So beside laying around the pool and getting hammered at the outdoor bar? Cruise the downtown strip, sucka! By day: old, tame and laid-back. By night: gay as a purseful of rainbows. Woo Hoo! We went to a tapas bar and the second the sun went down, we were smack-dab in the middle of an awesome drag show.

So people there is something here for anyone, except for rednecks. Is that not nirvana? 

Orbit In
562 West Arenas
Palm Springs, CA 92262
760-323-3585