Bong Su - SOMA

Bong Su-CKS. Thanks guys for starting that sentence for me. I mean, I even delayed this review a few days just to sit back, chill and see if I still thought it Bong Sucked as much as I thought it did. Verdict? Hells yeah! Too bad, too. This place has been hyped so our expectations were pretty high. We invited a good friend of ours from Boston, and somewhat of a foodie in her own right, Cyndee. Thought we would impress her. We ARE VinDivine, are we not?! Our rep is at stake.

Let’s break it down:

• Hostesses. The Hostesses were supposed to be the most-esses. Hotties. Bare back strappy numbers, setting a super-sexy stage for a groovy scene. W-H-O-A. Someone musta sent in Ugly Betty for a redesign. No skin. Not saying they were like Bhurkas, but definitely not what was advertised. Bummer.

• Atmosphere. What atmosphere? Not intimate or hip. Kinda cafeteria-like, sadly.

• Food. Couldn’t taste the difference between the Slow Roasted Pork and the Ngo Om Chicken. And this wasn’t even a blind taste test! I mean, one is fowl and one is a pig. The Duck Mustard Wraps - shredded daffy in mustard leaves - was also somehow overspiced and still...bland. How is that possible? Bright spot - the Jungle Beef Salad was pretty good.

• Service. Well, we never did hear the service was that killer, but yipes. Our guy, who we were all convinced was snorting copious amounts of blow, interrupted us half way through our order to say ‘ahh, guys, I’m takin’ a break’. WTF? Then, when he did return, only seemed interested in us ‘filling the quota’ of what he thought was a big enough order. Really. ‘Yeah, OK, now you’re about where you need to be..’ Yeah, so you can compute your tip off it. Come on, dude. We’ll make it up in the bar bill plus if you don’t suck we tip like ex-cons at the Gold Club.

• PR. Awesome, Bong Su! 'Top 20 Restaurants' in a recent Esquire article (not that anyone noticed, Scartlett Johansen was on the cover and had a huge spread); stellar reviews by that moron Michael Bauer and a good website ('cept ya have to download a PDF to see the menu. Annoying). Don't be fooled VinDiviners!

So, dine at your own risk. If you have a better, or different experience, or just agree (!), let us know. Maybe we'll give it another chance.

Bong Su
311 Third Street
San Francisco, CA 94107

Comments

[Alex]

what a shame, the diner that had occupied that spot used to throw down a mean reuben...