VinDivine - Living it Up John & Janine Style

Valdez Rockpile Road Zinfandel

Talk about The Attack of the Killer Zin! How the hell hadn't I heard about this juice before?! Hey, y'all can tell me about a wine sometime, hear me? Dang guurrll, one sippa this 17% alcohol bruiser and you get the picture...sweet crude, baby. Say it with me. Just like an oil slick of yummy goodness oozing down your gullet. Grab the reigns and hold on tight! Woo Hoo! Grab a chug of this and it'll do the Men In Black mind-eraser (get one here $159) on any negative connotations from that other Valdez...

Nope, and if you were thinking...did that alcoholic (I don't mean that in a bad way) rat-bastard (I do mean that in a bad way) ship pilot Joseph Hazlewood made amends to the world, and hundred if not thousands of fish and waterfowl, by hand-crafting a Zin named after his big f-up? That's right, you guessed it! HEY WAKE UP. Damn. Better yet, just close this tab in Firefox and don't return. That dick may have hit the sauce, but you actually thought he had the chops to pull this off? No sirree, this wine has a much more heart warming origin. As that dude on In Living Color always said, Wrote a Song About it, Wanna hear it? Here it go:

(cue Gene Hackman voice over) From a remote village in Michoacan, Mexico, to the vineyards of Sonoma County, this is the story of Ulises Valdez'  pursuit of the American Dream, culminating in the first releases of Valdez Family Winery, on July 8, 2006. This year marks twenty years in the vineyard business for Ulises, first as field worker, then as a partner in the vineyard management business, and now owner of Valdez and Sons Vineyard Management. Working on several hundred acres of vineyards has enabled Ulises to select some of his favorite blocks for his first wines. Collaborators include such acclaimed winemakers as Mark Aubert, Jeff Cohn, Paul Hobbs, Kent Rosenblum and Rolando Herrera.

The Valdez Rockpile Zinfandel hails from the same vineyard as Rosenblum's Rockpile Zin,(btw rated Wine Spectator's #3 wine in the world) so you know the fruit is gonna kick it.

Tastes? Now now, you all know to scroll to the bottom for the meat if you want to skip the rant...Big, rich and luxurious, this heavyweight Zin floats like a butterfly (an iron one anyway) and stings you like a bee. That 'ol buzz fairy comes along to tap you on the shoulder pretty fast, let's just say. There's not a shy bone in this wine's body. Whew. Got it? Great balance of smack-you-between-the-eyes alcohol and exotic blackberry, winter spice, and chocolate notes. On the finish you'll just love the crap out of the smoky espresso notes. Yummy! 

We found it at Houston's Restaurant on The Embarcadero in San Francisco, but realizing the worldwide popularity of VinDivine, I understand that is only relevant to a very small percentage of our faithful readers. A very puny percentage, in fact.  Too bad it's sold out on the Valdez Winery website so you'll have to find it elsewhere on the world wide web. Hey Valdez, sell more off your own site and keep the margins! Why give it to people like K&L?! They don't even provide shopping carts. (sorry I couldn't help myself).

Oh yeah, goes for about $36. Hey don't whine it's good.

Tough Love for K&L Wines

Dear K&L: Please, please take this at its most constructive. Just like when my parents beat me for flunking grammar class in 6th grade "because they loved me", I implore you to see the sunny side of these rants. 'Cuz look at me now! Thanks Mom & Dad. OK? Alrighty then, now that we understand each other...Hey K&L, invest in more than one shopping cart why dontcha you cheap bastards?! I mean, seriously. Seriously. You want to up that Average Order Size? Well, do ya, punk?! Then make it a tad easier to fill 'er up then. Damn, have you seen the demographics of your buyers? 'Spring chickens' does not pop to mind. Jesus, making them lug around 25 pounds of wine in those damn totes is almost inhumane.

I know, I know it's a cramped place, you need to rack 'em and stack 'em to make the biz work. You don't want shopping cart destruction derby going down. Especially with all that glass. But how about 3-4 additional carts? Whatdya say? Maybe even mini-carts. So people can whip them threw the maze you call aisles without doing too much damage? Just tell me you'll consider it. You know how to reach me. I just hope you don't find out where I live;)

Oh yeah, all these rants are about the San Francisco shop, I don't know crap about the other locations. For all I know there is a very high 'shopper to cart' ratio.

Oh yeah again: I gave you guys 2 backlinks! One more helpful little suggestion - the title tags on your site should be shorter and more concise for better SE rankings. Try 'buy wine online', or 'online wine sales'. I just can't help myself!

Congrats Jonnatan Leiva!

First, characteristically off-topic and A.D.D. as always. Here's how much I despise Chardonnay: I roll off the couch just now at 1 AM or so, and face a difficult choice as my beady eyes adjust to the glare of the sub-zero lights: pour a fresh glass of Chard from a brand spankin' new $40 bottle. Or, pour the remaining dredges from a $10 bottle of Pomelo Sauv Blanc that's been sitting open for the past 4 days? That's right VdV'ers, I took that Pom faster than a crackhead hits the pipe!

OK, back to our regular scheduled programming.

So Jonnatan Leiva finally got some the respect he deserves. This guy is a KICK ASS talented chef and basically the reason Jack Falstaff is one of the top go-to places in SoBe. 'Cuz otherwise I think most Plumpjack places are self-loathing, bloated pieces of crap. But not this one! No, no. OK, prolly not Carneros Inn in Napa either. But all ya P-Js in The Marina (and in Squaw) - I'm talkin' about YOU!

Anyhoo back to the the star (or rising star;) of the show. Jonnatan. This dude cooks his ass off, and has fun doing it. And he's super cool and a has passion for creating a fresh, refined, upscale menu that still fits the laid-back South Beach/SOMA style. Try anything Lamb. Actually try anything at all, he rocks it across the board. And, drumroll please...he was just awarded the honor of one of the Five Bay area Rising Star Chefs of 2008. Yay! Now that you mention it, that's the subject of this blog. Amazing how it all comes back around, huh? I mean, that crackhead Michael Bauer just doesn't get it, giving Falstaff only 2 1/2 stars a few months ago. Time to put that fossil out to pasture, don't you think? Go review Scoma's on Fisherman's Wharf, Bauer.

So congrats to Jonnatan. Plumpjack, you're lucky to have him. And y'all, go to Jack Falstaff and enjoy his creations. Now, dammit!

And here's a hint for all you neighborhood SF Giants haters: While 21-A, Paragon and especially MoMos (and probably Pete's Tavern) are full of a-holes during home games, Falstaff's is an oasis. Calm, cool and civilized. Shhh. Keep it real, keep it to yourself.

So that's that. Go Jonnatan!

Coming Soon! Reviews of: a wine that shares the same name as a massive oil spill (or at least the f-ing ship that did it) Valdez...a restaurant named after the capitol of the worst f'ing state in the union, Houston's...and last but not least, another restaurant named after a big fat guy, Orson!