VinDivine - Living it Up John & Janine Style

Guigal Cotes-du-Rhone 2005

"Ahh zee fruity scent, ze earthy aromas, zee seductive, full body, come into my arms so I can taste you, mon cherie!" Wow. Dunno why the spirit of Pepe Le Pew, one of my favorite cartoon characters, just invaded my psyche. That little vermin just holds a special place in my heart. 

Anyhoo, the Guigal Cotes-du-Rhone is a french wine, and Pepe is a French skunk, so it isn't completely random. So lay off!

First off, I can guaran-f'ing-tee it, if you see the 'E. Guigal' name on just about any vino, rouge or blanc, it'sa-gonna-be good. 'Eee Gee-gal' Say it with me.  And in my humble (yeah right...humble. Ha) opinion, the Cotes-du-Rhone from good 'ol E is da bomb. French lesson number 2: 'Cotes-du-Rhone' simply means 'Rhone hills'. And Rhone is a wine growing region in Southern France. Don't y'all feel smarter now? 

OK, the '05 is a half-and-half blend of Syrah and Grenache grapes. Yowsa, two great tastes that taste great together! This juice has it all - an awesome deep ruby color, with sweet aromas of ripe blackberry and cherry. The aromas deliver on the tongue as well, with the addition of a little white pepper and....what is it....hmmm...cocoa!...that's it, on the finish. Oh yeah, and a little chewiness. Kind of a denseness that makes it feel good in your mouth. OK, I'll stop there before it gets weird.

Y'know what else is impressive? They crank out a few million bottles of this hooch a year, and the quality is still C'est Magnifique. Way to go, Guigals!

Y'know what else? This vino won't cost ya all your Euros either, I picked it up at Whole Paycheck, I mean, Whole Foods, for about $15. Which means you could prolly find it anywhere else for closer to $10! Check out Wine Library or Wine.com

And I will only leave you with this, as my varmint homey Pepe was always fond of saying "Zee game of love is never called on account of darkness"

Beretta - Mission

 So last night, we ventured out of our comfortable South Beach 'hood, along with our friend Candida to...The Mission! Yipes, on a Saturday night?! To a restaurant that doesn't even accept resies? To a place about as big as a troll's first studio apartment? Are we insane?! Well, we had been drinking 'ritas all day...

Anyhoo, this place has some serious buzz, and our chef buds Spencer & Sarah can't stop yapping about it. So off we went, even scored a taxi there within a few minutes.

First impression? Well, my first impression occurred the first time I heard the name of the place. Whenever I hear the word  'Beretta' I think of one of my fave crime series in the '70s by the same name. Yeah yeah, I hear y'all. The '70s?! You were alive in the '70s?! Simmer down. It's called late-night reruns on cable.

Anyway, he's also the same guy that shot and killed...I mean allegedly shot & killed...his wife a few  years back. Maybe his parrot told him to do it.

But enough rambling for now. Back to the story. Second impression - Happenin' place, bitches. I mean, you gotta bring your sham wow to hang with the folks here. Cool space, right on the corner of 23rd & Valencia with lots of windows and natural light, a big bar down the left side, open kitchen in the rear and small tables around the perimeter. Good lighting, and a big communal table in the middle We're not huge fans of the communal tables ourselves, but whatever.

So I tried to call ahead of time, since even though they don't take resies, they say you can call up to 45 minutes ahead of time and they'll put your name on the list. But, the phone never picked up and when we arrived were told it'd be TWO HOURS. Ha. They obviously didn't realize we were VdV. But, with the beauty and charms of Janine and Candida, we miraculously weaseled a few seats at the bar. Let the games begin!

First off, I noticed one of the bartenders was this d-bag that used to work at Tres Agaves. Always playing with his hair and makin' drinks at the same time - no shit - and talking on his cell phone behind the bar. Good for us, we were at the other end of the bar and our dude was a pro. Cool cat with some mutton chop-type beard from NoLa.

So, I know it seems like I'm being a complete snitty bioottch right now. So let's cut to the chase - we love Beretta. A solid 8.5 outta 10 in my book. So that said let me ramble on and share some insights.

First, upgrade your tap water, for chrissakes!  Or your pipes or wherever you get your non-bottled water from. Yuck. It's like drinking from the fetid swamp in the movie Cabin Fever. Seriously. You are better than this.

Second, we ordered up a couple Cosmos. Nope, no cranberry juice. The only had 'organic Elderberry juice'. WTF? I mean, I'm from Eugene and all but how 'bout stockin some Ocean Spray?! That said, the elderberry Cosmos were pretty tasty!

So let's get down to business my furry friends, like Tom Colicchio from Top Chef says 'it's all about the food'.

Wanna hear it? Here it goes:

Appys: Zucchini Parmigiana with Scamorza & Basil, I am not kidding I could gorge on this for breakfast lunch and din din. But what the hell is Scamorza?! Awesome sauce, baked perfectly and slightly burnt around the edges with thin, tender Zucchini. More stuff like this and J turns veggie. Then we had the Meatballs in Spicy Tomato Sauce. More sauce! I thought these 3 big balls were a little dense, but well cooked and again..that f'ing sauce is a constant winna! Last but not...well, maybe least: the Creamy Polenta with Gorgonzola. This was actually really good, the polenta was exquisite (who ever call polenta exquisite?!) and the only knock was that the cheese was a teensy overwhelming.

Mains: 'Za all the way. Woo Hoo! Serious pizza menu here, about a dozen or so. Spencer's fave is the Spicy Italian Sausage, Panna & Spring Onions. We trust him but went our own way. Two pies, a Margherita with Burrata, and the Funghi Misti, Tomato, Fontina & Thyme.

And the reviews are in! First, the crust. Crust aficionados that we are, we rate this crust as crust-i-licious! Awesome. Very thin, and similar to the crust at Lombardi's in Manhattan, as it holds its shape and is slightly crispy. Excellent! How excellent, you ask? I stashed some crust bits in my pocket so I could snack on them later on at home. 

Beretta goes generous on the sauce, which is slightly sweet and also robust tasting. Like, super fresh bitch. DIg it! And the toppings are OTH fresh, the Burrata cheese dollops were jeesy good, the 'shrooms were awesome and the spices were dead on. And we found a partial slice the next AM and chowed it down like nobody's business. Slurp. Nothing tests good 'Za like the morning after taste.

We deem Beretta as one of the Top 5 pizzas in all of SF! And to boot, they have one of our fave unknown wines on the list, a Nero D'Avola, a kick you in the teeth red wine from Sicily. Woo Hoo! And they also have a throw-down solid cocktail menu that I'm definitely treating like my bitch next time around.

GO NOW! Like I said, 8 1/2 outta 10. Giggidy!

Beretta
1199 Valencia St
(between 22nd St & 23rd St)
San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 695-1199

Nobu 57 - NYC

Yep that's right. We strolled into the NYC Nobu 57  like we owned the place, grabbed two spots at the upstairs bar (the downstairs bar was full of a bunch of a-hole wall streeters), and were ready to be underwhelmed. I mean, after all the hype Nobu gets how could it live up?!

Well, when the waiter walked up, asked if we'd been there before and when we said "Nope", snarked "Then just hand the menus back and I'll do the ordering..." I reckoned we were well on our way to an experience that would earn them the Smackdown o' the Year award on VdV. It's like "Listen dipshit, we live in San Francisco, we're not sushi virgins." Oh well, ya know what? After that little gaffe, it was all yummy goodness. I mean, OTH gimme more 'o that $50 yellowtail sashimi lip-smakin' good yummy goodness. Get my drift?

We started off the adventure with, well, after a coupla Hanger Limesh. Any place on the East Coast that carry's Alemeda's favorite gets huge points. First off,  the Sashimi Salad. The seared tuna looked soo good in the little glass cooler dealy, that Janine pounced on it. Bravo J! This mighta been the highlight of the meal, seriously.

Next up? Watercress rock shrimp salad. This sucker rocked. Little critters never tasted so good. Usually I'm dipping them into some acky mayo dip someone calls "tarter sauce" just to cover the taste. Not so with these!

The yellowtail sashimi wth jalapeño is out of this freakin world. We can't get enough of this kick ass meal.  Yellow tail and jalapeño, two great tastes. "Hey you've got your yellowtail in my jalepeño! You've got your jalepeño in my yellow tail!" Nah, doesn't really work. We'll stick to pb and chocolate for that. You wouldn't really know that my J doesn't really dig sushi believe it or not, but I think Nobu is turning her around a bit. She liked the Yellowtail so much that we asked for it in a roll made with soy paper not seaweed. (The seaweed grosses J out, I've learned to live with it. You pick your battles after 13 years.)

I thought the mushroom soup would be a big fat ho-hum,  but let me tell you I had to pry that sucka out of J's paws to slurp down some of the yummy goodness. Worth every slurp!

Celeb sighting you ask? Howared freakin' Stern dining with one of his daughters! Ya can't miss him.

Anyhoo, it ain't cheap folks. This is no hole in the wall sushi, no sirreee. Bring out the Amex platinum cuz you might just hit yer limits.

Nobu 57
40 West 57th St.
New York, NY 10019
212-757-3000

2005 Schramsberg Brut Rosé

So my kittens how did 'ol J&J ring in a new era of politics Tuesday AM? Hmmm? Hell, more than just a new era of politics, a new world, bitches! With a bottle...I mean a small glass...OK, OK the entire bottle of the '05 Schram Rosé! Woo Hoo!

I mean, between celebrating the departure of that incompetent rat-bastard Bush outta DC, then that scheming shooting f-face torturer thief Cheney. Adios, D-bags!!

And then the real toasting for the most bad-ass incoming Prez in our lifetimes, Obama. How couldn't we drain an entire bottle? Yes We Can. So give us a break! Yeah baby!

Congrats Obama! Now get down to bidness and kick some ass, we know ya will. And we'll all help ya.

Anyhoo, as this is not a political blog, but a wining & dining bog, let's get down to bidness ourselves, and squawk about this quite quaffable bubbly...

Any red-blooded American will agree that a momentous occasion such as this necessitates some serious hooch to mark the date. And the Schram brings it. Why, you plead?

1) At this early in the AM, a slightly sweet, elegant Rosé beats shots of Hornitos. On most days anyway.

2) I like the color. A cross between peaches and strawberries. Awwww...

  3) Tiny bubbles. 'Nuff said.

  4) This bubbly makes me happy and it tastes GREAT!!

  Speaking of taste (finally, I know I know), here's my take -

 This bad ass load o' bubbles is about 2/3 Pinot Noir and the rest Chardonnay. So what?! Well, here's what, sucka: It's a nice blend for a Rosé, the Pinot lends a nice, fruit-forward charm to the wine. The Chard provides balance and nice, subtle yeast notes as well as contributing to a long, loquacious finish...Wow, I just had a Robert Parker moment, excuse me. As usual, just take my word for it! We Are VinDivine!

Goes for about $32 bones, which is a steal for a bubbly of this caliber. Hell, I'd even drink it after noon!

The only downside? I was in a desperate rush and had to go to those d-bags at K&L. I bet they're Bush + Cheney-loving Republicans. So I recommend buying it direct from Schramsberg, or anywhere but K&L.

Happy bubbly!

Lombardi's Pizza - NYC

So in addition to discovering the best of the best buffalo wings, we're also on a mission to find the best pizza outside of Capri Italy, which would just so happen to be the pizza at Ristorante Aurora (OMG this stuff rocks the world. Their linguine with clam sauce is also the best on God's green earth, The clams are teensy tiny and yummy). So hop a jet and get to Capri, slackers!

So anyway, we took to a very cool blog about pizza called Slice (this must be the fattest blogger in the world, I think he eats pizza breakfast lunch and dinner) and the reco of the hair stylist that styles next to John's stylist Ashlee (OK, TMI)  and found Lombardi's Pizza. Touted as one of the first pizzerias in America we had to discover if a place that has been around for a century could fire up a pie since the Bay Area can't really seem to. (Except of course you A16, Little Star, Golden Boy and Delfina). And, could they stand out in one of the 'Za capitals of the world? A place where every fleabag slice joint churns out pizza that rivals most of the best places here in sunny 'ol vegan-eatin' SF?

We ventured out of our mid-town digs at the Chambers Hotel, got a cab and went downtown to the corner of Spring Street and Mott. Little Italy, bitches! Woo Hoo! Put me in the mood for a back-to-back-to-back Godfather marathon when we got back to Chambers. Well, maybe a back-to-back since G3 SUCKS ASS. I mean, that whole 'Love you, cuz' thing with Andy Garcia and Sophia Coppola getting it on? I think I just vomited in my mouth. 

Oh well, cinematic liberties and ADD aside, the East Village is cool and having lived in NYC, I can't believe I never got to this joint since it is pretty cheap and I was dirt poor. That said this place is cash-only! Cool. Love places like that...NOT! At least install an f'ing ATM Lombardi's! Might help control the dine-n-dash, know what I mean?!

Anyhoo, we arrived in our stretch limo (kidding!) to a line outside and shoved past the riff raff (again, just kidding! We didn't actually shove them;) and went in to see if we could...SURPRISE...belly up to the bar. Well, missy, sure ya can...but ya can't order food there.  So all we could get was vino as we waited for a table and tried not to steal some old codger's pie.

We waited for an hour (that equated to about 4 glasses of bad wine at the bar) then got seated. The hostess took us back through the kitchen into another part of the restaurant. Seemed like a different building actually. Who cares, we're here for the pizza, right?

At this point we're ready to gnaw each other's limbs off so we quickly order a house salad cuz it seems like somewhat of a wait for the pie. Salad was good, and gone in about 3 minutes. Details? F the details it's SALAD. Jeez.

Onto the pizza. This pizza is special cuz it's coal-oven pizza, few pizzerias do it this way. Maybe because coal kills. I dunno. But if it helps bake a killer 'Za then screw the people down wind! We ordered a small pie which is about 14". We got half mushroom and half plain (Margarita). And damn it was fantastic. Why, kittens? 1) we were Donner-party hungry 2) the crust is awesome. Thin but firm. You can hold it in one hand and it doesn't buckle in two. But on the other hand, it doesn't snap in two and disintegrate when you bite into it either. Nice! 3) The Mozzarella cheese was f-r-e-sh and in nice big blobs all over the 'za. Mmmm. 4) They gave us a side of pizza sauce so we could dunk it! Yeah baby!

Contrary to Pazza Notte another pizza fave in midtown, this crust was crunchy but Pazza Notte is solid for those who like it limp (fyi, limp is good only for pizza)! 

All in all, not sure it was worth over a stinkin' hour wait but a great foodie experience. We hit it on a sunny Saturday afternoon so prolly off-peak it's a faster serve. We give it a solid 8 outta 10.

Lombardi's Pizza
32 Spring Street (Mott)
New York, NY 10012
212-941-7994

Stuffed Shells @ Paragon!

 Ok this is gonna be a (mercifully & rare, I know) short & sweet post - Paragon Restaurant's celebrity chef Spencer O'Meara's Stuffed Shells rock the f'ing world!! Why? I dunno I'm in such a stuffed-shell frenzy I just gulp 'em all down then wonder WTF just hit me. The combo of the creamy ricotta, sweet tomato sauce, perfectly firm shells and some green stuff (I'm just too much of a retard to know what it is but it's tasty...pesto?) is awesome. Then he tosses some cheese on top and bakes it. They are like little pillows of love.

'Nuf said. I did have the foolish generosity tonight to share about three bites of the stuff with a couple pathetic droolers who I believe are now also gonna petition to get this masterpiece on the regular menu. Don't make us beg, O'Meara you bastard! 

Oh yeah, the pic here is the 'after' of the dish course, after I licked the plate clean (yep that's the actual plate with my tongue marks. I'm sure it's a little more appetizing as a 'before' shot). I chowed it down too quickly for a camera to catch the before part. Damn you, Wang Su!

Anyways, go get yerself some! And if the shells aren't on the menu there's tons 'o other grub that is killer. And Wednesdays are Smokehouse/BBQ night, so mark it! Woo Hoo!

Paragon Restaurant
701 2nd Street @ Townsend
San Francisco, CA
415.937.9020

Buffalo Wing Smackdown!

 WTF do I have to do, jet to New York every time I get the hankerin' for a  decent wing?! It's 2009 for chrissakes!! Anyhoo, if you picked up on my subtle frustration above, I have a passion for buffalo wings. No, not just any chicken wing that's been breaded, deep-fried then dredged through some bottled hot sauce. No siree. We're talkin' Buffalo wings, made in the old school east coast tradition. Know what that means, punk? Read on.

I hear the first Buffalo wings were made at a place called the Anchor Bar in...you guessed it you genius...Buffalo, NY. Well, enough history for today. And who the hell wants to go to Buffalo, anyway?

Anyhoo, we have devoted much of our New Year's weekend to just that, my kittens. Clogging our arteries for the good of all, to discover the best Buffalo wings in the city. And we narrowed it down to two for...drum roll please...the Buffalo Wing Smackdown 2009!

So our friend Nikki told us about this place in the Marina called Original Buffalo Wings.  Dunno about you, but it seemed pretty promising to my optimistic little self. I mean, that's just about as specialized-sounding as In-n-Out Burger. And they deliver a damn tasty burger.

So I was kinda worried when I walked in and they offer every type of buffalo-fried food you can imagine! Buffalo shrooms, anyone? But hey, whatdya expect from a place in the Marina, anyway? This is a kinda shabby, shack-type diner that looked like it might deliver. And once again, you have to respect anyone that names their restaurant after a dish. So we ordered up a plate of wings, as well as a plate of fingers just cuz. The wings go for about a buck a pop. The fingers go for about a buck and a half each. Small order is 6, or you can super-size it and get 50 wings for $50 (nope, no volume discount). They also offer 'California white wine' for $2.95 a glass! We opted for Corona to wash the wings down.

They served 'em up pretty fast, and first impression is of course a visual. And that impression? How the hell did they find chicken wings smaller than what our friend Spencer serves?! P-u-n-y. They should serve tweezers with these things. Maybe they should call this place 'Ethiopian Buffalo Wings'.

OK, I think you get the gist. Or am I too subtle? So let's move on to the taste test. J&J look for a crisp skin, enough tender meat to get a good mouthful, and a peppery spice. Not too sloppy on the sauce, either!

Hey the wings deliver pretty well on the taste test. Puny? Yes. The meat was a little dry ('cuz they're so small! Arrgghh. OK I will stop ranting). A tad dry, but good sauce, a little gooey but tasty. But they are true Buffalo wings, not some f'd up Cali version of a classic. I give 'em a 7/10. Prolly an 8 if it's after a long night of hittin' the bottle.

OK, now for the next and final contender: another friend Kate Facebooked us (yes that is a legitimate verb in my book) about Giordano's on Columbus. This place is straight outta Pittsburgh. Steelers pennants everywhere, Pittsburgh memorabilia, etc. Cute little spot, with lots of TVs. And the people working it are really cool, lotsa fun. And a good beer and decent wine list. We'll definitely check it out for the upcoming Steelers playoff game. Now, Giordano's is best known for their 'All-in-One Sandwiches'. Nope I didn't know WTF that meant either. The All-in-one is a sando with your choice of meat & provolone cheese, put on the grill, then on thick white bread. But wait! Before they close it up, they put a pile of fries and oil & vinegar slaw on it! Woo Hoo!! We love you Giordano's! They looked so good we ordered a couple and took them to our friend Spencer at Paragon and Paul, Thomas and Tony at Pete's Tavern.

But back to the topic at hand. What was it? Oh yeah, Buffalo Wings. So we order up 10 wings for $7.50, spicy. Holy crap! These wings ROCK! First they are f'ing ginormous. I mean, at least 4-5 bites each. Second, they served up 5 'guy' wings and 5 'chick' wings (guy wings are the drumsticks). Third, the skin was crisp, and the meat was uber-tender. I just drooled. And last and most important, the sauce is out of this world kick-ass. Yes, it was a bit gooey, we're used to Buffalo wings that are less so. But the sauce was so damn good when we were done with the wings we grabbed spoons and slurped up the rest of it.

I am tempted to rate these wings a perfect 10. Hmmmm. The pressure. What a VinDivine rating can do for a business!;). Nope, sorry Giordano's, as awesome as these wings are, and as much as we love your place I can only go up to a 9/10. Why? I dunno why. It just is. Maybe it's a little early in '09 to bestow a 10 on anything.

Bottom line: Girodano's kicks OBW's scrawny ass. But if you're in the Marina and want a decent order, give 'em a go.

Giordano's
303 Columbus (@ B'way)
San Francisco, CA
415-397-BROS