VinDivine - Living it Up John & Janine Style

Merc Bar - NYC

PRO: Cool space, good sophisticated yet laid-back vibe
CON: Not much

Yo NY! I've got yer new hang-out & after work watering hole. See, here at VdV we're always on the lookout for a cool new (at least to us) bar. We enjoy a cocktail or two. On occasion. That's if your definition of 'on occasion' is 'frequent' or 'quite often' (say that with the 't', please) and 'or two' is 'one in each hand'. OK now that that's cleared up. Follow me? Good.

So we ran across Merc Bar as we were prowling around SoHo, near Mercer Hotel and all that. It's one of those cool places that's cool without trying to be...cool. A small sign with a door that's a little angled in from the sidewalk, very easy to pass by, yada yada. Anyway, we sniffed it out like a hound dog after a bunny wabbit. Yes, these images you see are there to distract you from the fact I have no actual pix of the bar itself.  So, sue me. No, not you, image rights owners!

Merc Bar is dark, with dark recycled-type wood paneling on the walls which gives it a semi-woodsy/nature feeling. But not OTT. It's a pretty small space, with some tables in front and scattered about, and a bar on the right with room for 12 or so. Behind the bar are three huge photos of Niagara Falls. Old school. Just good, that's all.  And a few random paintings or drawings of dogs faces here and there. Maybe that's what got us.

This is a cool, dare I say, chic, watering hole. Hmmm. Hells no, this is not chic! More like sophisticated without being snobbish. I like that. It's just comfortable. Kinda like Bloodhound in SF, if BH were darker, smaller and a little less d-baggy on weekend nights. Plus I guess they'd have to ditch that Big Buck Hunter Pro game I love there. OK, Bloodhound, stay as you are. And same goes for you Merc, we like ya just the way you are.

Prices? WTF, really.

They seem to get a good crowd, all pretty laid back, mostly professional, and most of the people behind the bar are super nice. There's one big muscle head type that's kind of a dick, but those types always dis' me. So, I'll write that off.

Verdict? We are fans. And fans and fans again. Meaning when we were in NYC last week we hit this place like a crack whore hits the pipe. Take a hit!

VdV Rating: 3.5

Hours:
Sun-Thus 5:30p-2a
Fri-Sat 5:30p-3:30a

Merc Bar
151 Mercer St (near Prince)
New York, NY 10012
(212) 966.2727

Blue Ribbon - NYC

PRO: Always good, cozy space, brasserie feel, great menu and food. And awesome for late night eats
CON: Not much

We ducked into this cool little spot yesterday, hadn't been here in a couple years. Good ol' Blue Ribbon, always consistent. We like consistency. Unless you suck. Then we're going to unfriend you.

Anyway, this is a great little SoHo place, a real establishment actually. Everyone knows it. Which means, if this is the first you're hearing about it...you are a pathetic loser. Ha. Loser.

This is a place where the reason it's cool is that you just feel good there. It's not that the design is off the hook or anything, it's just a solid spot with great bevvies, good bartenders (usually, although this guy decided to act like I was as see-through as cellophane and would only communicate to the beautiful J. Hey I get it, I'd rather look at her too, but don't be rude. That little faux paus cost him about $10 off the tip), great menus, well executed meals and awesome late night eats.

It's actually widely regarded as the #1 late night dining place in the entire U.S. of F'ing A. So there. I mean you can get almost anything at this pace, it's crack head crazy. It's like they had Polish, Italian, French, Chinese and American chefs all put down their fave dishes, then munged it all together. Yes, Polish. They have chefs in Poland, too.

Case in point? They have Pierogies! So we had Pierogies ($11). These were awesome. Better than the other J cooks, like clockwork,  each Christmas Eve? The "raised in a Polish household, I know a thing or two about Polish dumplings" J? We're talkin' about the Pierogies I die for, that define Christmas Eve such as it is? No, stupid. Of course not. Nope. Never. Uhn uhn. But nevertheless Blue Ribbon's Pierogies rock.

Ya get 6 little dumplings that you can order fried (deep, dunno why not pan fried) or steamed. We opted for steamed, heart-healthy as we are. These are tender, succulent little suckers, stuffed with mashed spuds and cheddar cheese, served with home made sour cream and caramelized onions on top. Very good.

We then had the Steak Tartare ($15.50). I proclaim this the Best Steak Tartare on earth. Better than Balthazar, better than Paris. We need to start publishing little stickers these poor, unknown places can post on their windows 'VdV Award Winner'...help put them on the map, feel me? Anyhoo, this is a great portion of raw, fresh off the bovine steak. Ground up fine (less chunky than others) with a little onion, mustard and chive. And it's served with home made Ruffles-type chips that are nice and crisp and two kinds of mustard, one spicy and the other more relish-like. What a great bite, a dollop of tartare on a crispy chip with a little mustard dabbled on. Awesome!

They also have kick-ass Fruits De Mer, the Blue Ribbon Royale ($132) is the way to go. It's the kitchen sink of all their ala carte seafood served on a 4 level platter. Oysters, Shrimp, Lobster, Clams, Crab,  Scallops, Charlie the Tuna, Flipper...OK just kidding on the previous two. You get the idea.

There's also Hummus, BBQ Ribs, a Pu Pu Platter (huh?), Matzoh Ball Soup, Chicken Wings, Fried Chicken, a ginormous wine list and more. Something for anybody y'all, and it's all good.

VdV Rating: 4

Hours:
Sun-Sat 4p-4a (LOVE that)

Blue Ribbon
97 Sullivan (near Spring)
New York, NY 10012
(212) 274.0404

STK - NYC

PRO: Good vibe & people watching, great bar scene and awesome Lil' Big Macs!
CON: Inconsistency! Dining experience kinda sucked....

So this is the tale of two tastings. Damn, alliteration again. Shit. Why a tale of two tastings, you ask? 'Cuz we went here twice, Einstein. Once last weekend when we were 'wowed' and since we were so impressed with the sliders and scene, came again last Friday for the Full Monty. Mistake.

First, this place is definitely cool. Great space and design and lighting and bar and pretty people and..and...vibe. We were here pretty early on MLK day I think, around 6:30. Swaggered up to the bar and grabbed a couple drinks. STK is a great spot to have a bevvie or three! They have a cool bar and lounge area, and about 1,000 horns mounted above the bar. Watusi's, I believe. And believe me, I know a Ankole-Watusi when I see one. 'Nuff said.

Anyhoo, since we were there, We scanned the menu and saw Wagyu Sliders. Weird, sliders usually sound good (how can they not?) but we usually don't order them. Dunno why. But we went for it, and I swear to All Things Holy they are The Best F'ing Sliders I've ever had.

Why are they they The Best F'ing Sliders Ever? 1) They're Wagyu cows, the snobbiest and most pretentious bovine roaming the earth. Quite bitchy I've heard. Even bitchier than a Watusi b) They were perfectly cooked...say it with me...RARE 3) Served on a fresh yummy black sesame seed bun that is smaller than the patty and c) comes with a slice of black truffle that neither overpowers nor conflicts with the taste of the burger. Indeed, I say it does the perfect job of complementing the Wagyu. and 5) oozy good cheese and a special little sauce. OK, is that proof enough, hater? Good. 

We were so giddy we made resies for a full-on dinner extravaganza the next Friday @ 9. Bam. Wait. I mean Bum. As in Bummer, dude.

We arrived, looking quite dashing I may say, just in time for our 9PM resies. We were warmly greeted by a huge doorman. I think he thought I might be Kevin Bacon. Whatever. We got the star treatment, grabbed a cocktail and a seat in the lounge area and got ready for an hour wait. But no! Within 20 minutes our dude came and showed us our table. 

Lemme tell ya, fella this place is a zoo. I mean that as a huge compliment. Or is it complement? Hmmm. I hate that. Kinda like 'effect'or 'affect'. Thank Larry & Sergei for Google.

We had a couple next to us gettin' it on. Were they not leaving 'til 5 in the morn'? A table full of haters telling them to get a room, a couple coke heads next to us talking at about 200 decibels and about 200 MPH. Lotsa chicks wearing not much, great scene.

Our server came right over. Let's jump ahead and call him a...what is a really dumb, yet friendly animal? I like dogs. So let's go with that. A Labrador? I'm afraid I'll offend Labs everywhere with this, but whatever. We ordered and ordered fast. We knew what we wanted. The Lab obeyed.

Here we go: Filet Medallions ($22), Hamachi Crudo ($16), an encore of the Lil' Big Mac Sliders ($25), Mac & Cheese ($9), and Mixed Mushrooms ($9).

What ensued? Man oh Manischewitz the STK train jumped the tracks on this one. I rarely get pissed off. And I got PISSED OFF. We could have sent the entire meal back to those idiots.Let's break it down for ya:

First, they didn't course anything. Our table got bum rushed with everything at once! I got a little heated on that. It's like, really? But for some reason we took it. Up the ol...you get it. So the Filet Medallion...was not medallions, but a chuck of Filet. We ordered Medallions! Bad dog. The meat was pretty good, could have been a little more rare, but, the wrong dish. Plus, we ordered two sauces, the Chimichurri and STK. Only one made an appearance.

Next, the Hamachi Crudo. The best dish of the night. Very fresh, a nice portion with fried plantains. Clean, nice. Me likee.

Next (well, you know, all at once, just 'next' because I can't write all at once, like they served it. Mac & Cheese. Like I know Watusi's, I know M&C. This was baked for a nice crunch on top, and it looked good. But somebody left the top off the salt shaker when they spiced this puppy. Ewe. NG. Overpowering salt, not great cheese.

And then, the encore of what I proclaimed as The Best F'ing Sliders Ever. The Lil' Big Macs. Ordered...rare. Yes, I'm as tired typing that as you are reading it. Well, they showed up on our table more medium to medium well. Yes, still great Wagyu. Yes, the bun, the truffle the oozy cheese and special sauce. But overdone!!!

OK, the Mushrooms. WTF cares! I was so pissed off I almost slugged the coked out dude next to me.

OK, to end on a sweet note, we had the Strawberry Cotton Candy. How was it? WTF cares! I'm pissed off again!

Plus this idiot Labrador waiter rang us up for a $50 bottle of wine we never ordered! Arrgghh.

Bottom line VdV suggestion: Go for the bar, (maybe) order some sliders and the hamachi. Skip dinner. Just enjoy watching the circus!

VdV Rating: 2

Hours:
Mon-Sun 5:30p-2a

STK
26 Little West 12th
New York, NY 10014
(646) 624.2444

Esca - NYC

PRO: Linguine Vongole!
CON: Slightly stuffy, and I couldn't recall what I ate (not entirely their fault, read on)

Dang, kittens. This can be a rough gig. Case in point? After downing a few 'ritas (and a shot) and appys at Dos Caminos in Nolita (review to come) then going to an up-and-coming fave of ours, Bar 108 (review to come) to 'celebrate' the Jets upset over those Chargers over a few Grey Goose Orange & Sodas, we went to Esca to enlighten you all on Mario Batali's latest Italian gastronomic doings. All I know is, if I keep livin' like this I'm gonna look look like Chef Batali soon: 

And it seemed we enjoyed ourselves just fine, as far as we know. The problem? The next AM neither of us could remember WTF we had to eat! (except that g-damn awesome Pasta Vongole).

Seems the tequila and grey goose took its toll on our fragile minds. Basically muddling them into mindless mush. Hey, alliteration! I never do that. Overrated IMO. Anyhoo, we couldn't remember much more than a bite, couldn't locate the receipt (forget writing off that dinner) that would item-by-item list our order, and between the two of us for the life of us couldn't remember shit.

The only clue? No, not the dog funk bad breath we were mouth-breathing all over each other. BTW, we're not blaming Batali for that. So there were actually 2 clues, that took us a little while to uncover. It's kinda like forensic food reviewing. 

1)  I checked my handy, hell-beaten iPhone 'cuz occasionally I take notes. And halle-f'ing-lu-yah! Some  hints. Not written by me, but some dumb aborigine that must have inhibited my body...You may not be able to read this, but it goes something like this:

 "Yellowtail. Chunky piecse pepper on top. Too much evoo. Swimming. Good fish tho.

Mushrooms. Can't tell shrooms. Salty. Arugula peppery. Good but shrooms?? ffffffffffffff"

That's some impressive reviewing, eh Bauer? But wait, there's more!

B) Then we found some pix on our camera that resembled the comments above, and the time stamp checked out. And miracle! They're not even fuzzy!

So like Food Scene CSI we started to assemble the story. And we're stickin' to it! Wanna hear it? Here it goes:

We started with the luscious Hamachi Crudo with Geata Olive OIl ($18). As eloquently stated above, it was chunky. Had some pepper on top (actually a tiny bit of jalapeno, to be exact). The fish itself was very fresh with excellent texture, and the bit of heat from the jalapeno worked. I do recall though there was too much EVOO on top and around it, which was a little bit of a turn off.

Then, on to the (must be) special Mushroom thing ($?). I think my rambling above sums it up pretty good. 'Nuff said.

And to finish it off on a Mt. Everest High Note, the Linguine with Briny Mahogany Clams, Hot Red Pepper and Pancetta ($24). The one dish I did not need notes on to remember. This was some excellent pasta, and killer Vongole. The spiciness and heat of the red pepper, with the saltiness of the pancetta, melded with the (subtle) briny flavor of the succulent little clams with the al denté pasta? Holy crap. Done deal. This is the shit. Go Mario!

Bottom lining it - take all this with a few grains of salt. The vibe was a bit old school, traditional, a little stuffy for us but the ingredients are very fresh, preparation is solid and although we weren't in love with the mystery mushroom dish or the hamachi. The Vongole made it all worthwhile. Next time, if there is one, we'll try it (more) sober. Maybe.

VdV Rating: 2.5

Hours:
Mon-Sat 12p-2:30p
Mon-Sat 5p-11p
Sun 4:30p-10:30p

Esca
402 West 43rd Street
New York, NY 10036-6322
(212) 564-7272

Balthazar Restaurant & Bakery - NYC

 PRO: Authentic French brasserie atmosphere, good food, fun vibe
CON: Getting a seat can be tricky! 

So after about a gazillion times of swinging by Balthazar  hoping to score a seat for weekend lunch or din din (no, we don't plan far enough ahead to ever reserve), lurking around like desperate beggars and then leaving with our heads hanging low and our tummies grumbling, we gave this place another shot last week, right around 6p. And just like the other J always reminds me that persistence pays off, finally success. A couple was just leaving their bar seats (yay!) for a table and we swooped in like a couple hawks going after an innocent little field mouse. Score!  Seriously, if we hadn't gotten those two seats, our last resort to dining here may have been a nice, simple Breaking & Entering.

So after doing a couple high fives, we looked around the place. Wait. First we barked out an order for a couple drinks. Then, we looked around to get the lay of the land. I mean, this place is a New York institution, which means it's gotta impress on all levels. This is a big place that, if ya closed your eyes, and ignored the fact most people are speaking English...actually, not even true, most people in nyc aren't speaking English...well, they're not speaking French I guess is the point. Anyhoo, get over that language thing, and open your eyes back up.

For the most part, and take this from Paris veterans, kittens, Balthazar is straight outta Compton. I mean, straight outta Paris. Great atmosphere. From the enormous, open room to the elegant lighting to the cozy seating and hustle and bustle to the raw bar and authentic menu. Bam.The only difference is the servers are rude to you in English, not French. Kidding, kidding. Calm down. Our servers (behind the bar and our food server) were super friendly.  Not really chatty, mind you, but friendly. Hey they're busy people. And I was tryin' to French my baby most of the time anyway, so they prolly didn't want to interrupt;)

OK, you get the idea. Let's move on to the grub. Or should I say 'aliments'. So as we were about 1/2 way through a stuff-your-face-fest wander around SOHO, we only snacked. But we hit some of the highlights, namely:

Well, before we get into that and although I am sure it's a highlight for many, we passed on the Hamburger A Cheval (AKA Horse Burger). Doesn't it sound so much yummier in French? But it still has to taste heinous. For once, I'd say no horseplay.

We did enjoy though, the Onion Soup Gratinee ($10.50). Please don't say French Onion Soup. You'll look like even more of a dumb yank than you are. Wow. They don't f-around with the fromage, if ya get my drift. Hell, this should maybe be renamed a Fondue. It was served in a nice-sized bowl, with a rich beef base, excellent onions, and an OD of cheese. And I like cheese. So I was slap-happy. Excellent Gruyere and Cheddar, and lots of it, with the obligatory hunk of bread in the bottom. This puppy coulda used a little more broth but the taste? Cé Magnifique!

Next we had the Steak Tartare ($15), which, as with the Soup, is an excellent judge of a Brasserie. And just like in Paris, they don't pull any punches. (Well, let's call a Frog a Frog and just say the French don't really punch anyway. Kidding, kidding. Love the French). Seriously.  Anyway, this dish, which we ordered a small plate of, was again a great serving of excellent, fresh, tasty and appropriately RAW steak. And that's what it should be. It had a little mustard (Dijon, bien sur) mixed through it, but very subtle. The texture was amazing, and the taste was excellent. It came with some cute little toast points and capers. We wolfed it.

Note, even though we only snacked, Balthazar serves breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner and good-looking desserts to boot.

We'd come back here again in a flash. This isn't an everyday hang out spot for us, but a very cool, unique and gigidty-cool spot.

VdV Rating: 4

Hours:
Mon-Thus 7:30a-1a
Fri 7:30a-2a
Sat 8a-2a
Sun 8a-12a

Balthazar Restaurant & Bakery
80 Spring St (betw Broadway & Crosby)
New York, NY 10012
(212) 965-1414

Brinkley's - NYC

PRO: Zucchini Carbonera! Good food & service, comfortable space
CON: I don't get the 'Gastro Pub' positioning

We swung into recently opened Brinkley's on Broome St. the other night. We got there a bit early so we grabbed a couple margys at Mexican Radio while we waited for them to open at 5p. Yes, kittens, we will review MR soon.

So Brinkley's used to be the Bar Martignetti spot, owned by the Brothers Grimm. Oops, I mean, the brothers...what is their name...give me a hint will ya...oh yeah, Martignetti. The Brothers Martignetti. We never went there back then, so can't do the whole compare and contrast gig for you. Just gonna jump straight into the new place. Which BTW I had heard described as a gastro pub. Huh? Have they ever been to a gastro pub? Do they know what a gastro pub is? What does it mean, you ask? Well, it mans a pub that concentrates on excellent food, not just 'pub grub'.

So for Brinkley's it's Gastro yes, Pub no in our humble opinions. But that's cool. Not a pub? No. Whether they meant it or not, it reminds me slightly more like a French Brasserie (not as much as Balthazar, but slightly) than a pub. Just sayin'. Regardless this is a very cool place, located right on the corner and I imagine (if they opened before 5p) it would get great light. It's a big open space with a long bar, black and white tiled floors, red banquettes and cool chalkboard menus. Our bartender said it went through a pretty major renovation, and it showed.

Speaking of the bartenders...weird....they are like Pirates of the Caribbean meets America's Next Top Male Model. All well-coiffed, thin and all with neat mustaches. Don't ask me to explain that. Or maybe more like the lead singer of The Killers, Brandon Flowers. Anyhoo, no, I am not obsessed or having a gay moment, just being observant. All for you. Anyway, everyone both behind the bar and the servers were very nice and the service was excellent.

So this place is cool. Well done, brothers!

We bellied up to the bar and had several drinks. They have a great selection of local brews on tap, about 8 of 'em, and a solid selection of NY vinos as well. We had vodka. Perusing the menu, I realized it was for some reason was better than I expected. I thought it'd be more of a 'bar' menu but this puppy had some creative, good stuff. That's the Gastro part! They have a good combo of smaller bites and more full dishes.

We started with the Pickles ($7), which come in a little mason jar  and are not only pickles, but pickled beets and other assorted veggies. It's a nice little appy. Then we had the Jumbo Shrimp with Bloody Mary Ketchup ($11). Or is it catsup...Hmmm, worth pondering. At a later date. Anyhoo, they had us at the 'Bloody Mary' part. These babies come in a  pounder glass, about 4-5 big boys with the heads full on. I love shrimp decapitation! These were good, nice and fresh, and the ketchup...or is it catsup...damn it it's driving me nuts, was a nice original departure from typical cocktail sauce. Me likee. Next, we went off the grid a little with the Zucchini Carbonera ($14). Yep, that's right. Yummy. It's a dish of thinly sliced zucchini that takes the place of normal pasta. Good spin! It's served in a light, creamy bacon sauce with an egg on top. This stuff had an excellent blend of textures and tastes, the pasta, I mean zucchini, was cooked slightly past Al Dente, with a tiny bit of firmness to it, and the bacon just brought it all together. As bacon always does. Sorry the picture blows.

Bottom line? We'd definitely swing back by Brinkley's, it's got a solid food, great selection of bevvies, great service and a cool vibe. Bonus, it's located in a killer area with lots of other spots to hit before and after.

VdV Rating: 3.5

Hours:
Mon-Sun 5p-1a

Brinkley's
406 Broome St (@ Cleveland)
New York, NY 10013
(212) 680-5600

Chin Chin - NYC

PRO: Grand Marnier Shrimp, great service, nice place
CON: A little spendy

Yep, we were jonsin' for some Chinois the other night in NYC. And this place made the Eater 38 list, we trust those guys, so we went for it.  We arrived at Chin Chin about 2 minutes before their closing time of midnight. So we slunk in there and basically told 'em we're cool if they didn't want to serve us.

They were pretty much empty, and the cool owner, Jimmy Chin, told us for sure we can eat if we just step on the gas as far as ordering goes. And he assured us there'd be no rush as far as eating and having a bevvie or three, he just wanted to send his kitchen staff home. Get 'em off the clock, brutha. We get it.

So this place is a 'nice' Chinois. No sweat shop vibe, get my drift? Nice atmosphere and kind of a classic layout, with a bar  on the left, and lots of black and white pictures of various Chinese people hanging on the wall. No, not Chinese people hanging off walls, 'tardo. This isn't Tiananmen Square. I mean pictures of Chinese folks, and said pictures were hanging on the walls. Clear?

Anyhoo, in in the 30 seconds (he wasn't kidding about that whole immediate ordering thing) we had to make our decision on what to order, we rattled off a few dishes and then the GM told us we had to have the Chin Chin house special Grand Marnier Shrimp. So I says to myself, "self, WTF? If they're the house special why aren't they on the menu?!" I guess they're just for special people. That's right.

So not surprisingly, the Chin Chin chow showed up in about 4 minutes. Here we go: The Steamed Dumpling Sampler ($12.50), one each of Shrimp, Chicken and Vegetable. We both liked the the Shrimp dumplings the best. The actual dumplings were nice and thin, not too chewy and held the dumpling contents just dandy, not robbing from the flavors. JHC I just sounded like a dumpling freak. Anyway,the Shrimp was just so nice and simple, very plump with some good spicy mustard sauce. Coulda had an entire platter of these bad boys. The Chicken and Veggie were good as well, nice and fresh, not greasy grimy Chinese like you get at lots of places. We backed that up with some of the best Spring Rolls ($9) ever. No shit, Chung. Why? Again, not greasy but fried just right. The shell was delicate but still crunchy and the veggies inside were perfectly cooked.

Then we had...well actually we had everything all at once 'cuz they literally dished it up for us...the Shredded Chicken with Garlic Sauce ($21.50), which is what it says, people. A nice sized serving on mostly breast, green beans, a little red chile and not-too-strong garlic sauce mixed in. Pretty basic but very well made and hit the spot.

Last but not least? The Special Of The House, The Grand Marnier Shrimp ($35!), about a half dozen shrimp that they marinate in Grand Marnier, then toss with a little Mayonnaise (sorry, I just threw up a little in my mouth. My mom used to force-feed me Mayo Sandos on Wonder bread for lunch when I was a tyke) and wok-cook for a few minutes. The result? F'ing incredible. If ya didn't know it was marinated in G-M, ya prolly wouldn't know since the alcohol mostly cooks off. What's left is a subtle orange spice flavor that's not sweet but just goes perfectly with the nice firm shrimp. Just a little crispiness on the outside. Slurp! Not sure what the mayo added, but I'll take their word for it. Not cheap by any means but worth it.

So bottom line, yes, you can get cheaper Chinese on just about every corner. We are aware. We're not suggesting this to be your daily go-to for a quick egg roll, but when you want to treat yourself a little. Or write it off on your company AMEX. Or dine and dash. Oops, stick with the company card.

VdV Rating: 3

Hours:
Mon-Sun 12p-12a

Chin Chin
216 East 49th Street (betw 2nd & 3rd)
New York, NY 10017
(212) 888-4555

Rickshaw Dumplings - NYC

PRO: Fast-food dumplings at an affordable price
CON: The dumplings and buns didn't impress us much

Chef Anita Ho. Say what?! "I need a 'Ho?" "Why that's a Ho-riffic thing to say." "Ho-ly crap." Oh shit. Wait. The other J just informed me It's Anita Lo. The jury will disregard those previous comments. Strike that from the record! Profuse apologies, Anita.

So Anita Lo, of Iron Chef fame (she took down Mario Battali, people), ex-Maxim's and ex-Top Chef Masters contestant (Rick Bayless kicked hers, and everyone else's, ass) is evidently into dumplings. Ergo, Rickshaw Dumpling Bar located in Flatiron.

I like the In-and-Out Burger concept, I really do. Specialize, people. Few can multi-task and do several things well. Present company excluded, naturally. I mean, I'm tasting a fine wine while I'm noshing on some bites from soon-to-be-reviewed restaurant while I'm writing this! Actually I'm just way too A.D.D. to behave otherwise.

So, first tip: don't be in the mood for a burger or taco when you stumble in here, Huang. There's 6, count 'em six,  dumplings to choose from: Classic Pork & Chinese Chive, Chicken & Thai Basil, Szechuan Chicken, Hudson Valley (fancy!) Peking Duck, Shrimp (what, no bay), and the Edamame. All priced to move at $5.50 a six pack, $9.75 for a niner, and buck fifty for a solo. Gotta love volume pricing. And each order includes a little side dish as well. They're priced as being all one type of dumpling (6 of only the Chicken & Thai Basil, for example), but we mixed and matched with no grief from the workers. Thanks, workers!

 They also have Pork or Chicken Steamed Buns, 2 for $6. They dish up a few sides, 2-3 combos but it's mostly all about the dumplings here. They have tea, soda, bottled water and Tsing Tao beer. Way to keep the SKU count low, Lo!

So what'd we mix and match? 2 each of the Classic Pork & Chinese Chive, Chicken & Thai Basil, and Szechuan Chicken. Our fave was, surprisingly the Pork. The problem was these little nubbers were all too salty, especially the Szechuan Chicken. I think the second bite red-lined my blood pressure! The actual dumpling outsides, or 'vessels' if you will, were a little gummy, not terrible by any means but just not that good. And yeah, I know they are steamed not fried, I get that. I repeat, 'gummy'. So shut your dumpling-hole. And FYI, the Thai Chicken dumpling suffered from peanut-OD.

But we weren't finished, we went in for a Steamed Pork Bun. This was a good sized bun, filled with a lot of pretty tasty meat. Yay, a compliment! But (you knew I couldn't help myself) it was way under spiced, no hoizen-ish type sauce and so was overall bland. And the bun, it was OK.

And hold on. This isn't actually a 'bar'. No, I don't mean that 'cuz there's no hard stuff to drink! There isn't a bar. Except if you call a plank of wood screwed into the wall with a stool by it a bar. Hold on. Well, I guess that does qualify. Why am I on Anita's ass? Let's let her take some creative license, shall we?

I dunno. I know this is a quick in quick out spot. But it's Anita Lo fortheluvogod! Hey I wasn't expecting a Momofuku or Ippudo experience, just sayin'...I expected better, Anita! So if you keep your expectations in check, you'll be fine. BTW: They also deliver...their run of the mill dumplings...damn there I go being critical again...to you for a $15 minimum. Anita, sorry for the smack-down, but I promise I'll never screw up your name again!

VdV Rating: 2.5

Hours:
Mon-Sat 11:30a-9:30p
Sun 11:30a-8:30p

Rickshaw Dumpling Bar
61 West 23rd St (between 5th & 6th)
New York, NY 10010
(212) 944-9220

Stanton Social - NYC

PRO: French Onion Soup Dumplings, fun, creative menu
CON: Nothing really. Unless you don't enjoy French Onion Soup Dumplings

We have just three words for you to remember: French Onion Soup Dumplings. OK, bye! Seriously, through some f'd up alchemy a genius actually concocted this dish. Think about it - it's soup in a dumpling vessel. Brilliant! We've been here several times and WTF cares about "yeah, they have a main downstairs part, very cool and casual and also an upstairs room about the same size with a bar and little low-seating areas and it's kinda dark...blah blah blah." Just Go. And get the damn French Onion Soup Dumplings ($12). Oh yeah, why, you ask? I guess because after all this time our word alone is still not enough. OK, hater: Because it's awesome French Onion Soup in a Friggin' Dumpling. With gruyere cheese on top. Doi. You get 5. You'll fight like wild dingos for that 5th one. There.

Our homey José at Chambers Hotel originally recommended this place and this dish and it's one of the best recommendations ever. Very creative menu, a happening vibe, attractive space, typically a good crowd  (translation: low d-bag quotient), well-prepared food and good drinks!

OK, OK I just can't wrap it up this quickly. It's not in the VdV DNA, get me? Here's a few more things we tried and thought were tasty: The Potato & Goat Cheese Pierogies with Caramelized Onion & Truffle Creme Fraiche ($9), the other J has some Polish roots so if there's a pierogie on the menu rest assured we'll be trying it. And the Polish take on these: doskonała ('excellent', dumbass! Didn't you take Polish in high school? Kretyn). They're pretty rich, but the goat cheese is a  great switch from the typical potato, and all-in-all you'd think there's too many competing tastes. Noper. It all melds very well together. The Braised Short Rib Tacos with Poblana Crema ($9) were also hits. These are nibblers, ya get 2 tacos, kinda small but hey it's only $9 bones. Quit whining. And don't miss the sliders. They have all types, we went for the basic Kobe Beef Slider ($7). Nothing fancy here, really, just good meat, on a nice fresh bun (not Ciabatta! WTF is it on the west coast and the fascination with Ciabatta?!) and cooked nice and rare. 

Bottom line there's a ton on this menu and you could graze and down bevvies all day into the night. Oh and if I forgot to mention: Get the French Onion Soup Dumplings!

VdV Rating: 4

Hours:
Mon-Wed. 5:00p - 2:00a
Thu-Fri. 5:00p - 3:00a
Sat. 11:30a - 3:00a
Sun. 11:30a - 2a

Stanton Social
99 Stanton St (betw Orchard St & Ludlow St)
New York, NY 10002
(212) 995-0099

Su Casa - NYC

PRO: Give me a minute
CON: Pretty much all of it

Hey! Don't you dare call this my place, sucka. You take this casa, we don't want any part of it. Boo casa. OK that was childish. So the fine folks at Thrillist wrote this place up a few weeks ago, and we decided to take a gamble on their reco. All we can say is this: Hey Thrillist, do you actually bother to visit the places you write about? Or is it you just have horrid taste? Or...not that we would cast accusations...does some one at Su Casa have some photos of some one at Thrillist in a compromising position?? Hmmm?

"So just exactly what provoked this rare rant, VdV?" you nervously ask. "'Cuz you're hungover?"  (good guess). No, smartass. It's the fact we were underwhelmed. Disappointed...Disgruntled. Hell, we were downright crestfallen! And here's why:

So first, to introduce you to Su Casa. Of course, it's got a Mexican theme. Wait. But not really. Is there anything Mexican about this? Not much in the ambiance to suggest it, just a crappy kinda-mexican menu that even a Taco Time would be embarrassed by. OK, clear as mud? Yeah. Let's move on.

So get ready for a rare smack down at Su Casa. You piss us off!

I mean, come on people! A second-story bar with...oohhh...NO SIGN. Wow that is so cool. Not. I'm sorry but this pace was so sucky it really got under our skin if ya can't tell. Hint: you guys are gonna need a neon sign the size of Sirius (tip: the world's brightest star) to bring in enough people to keep you open soon.

First it reeked of wet paint. Hey I'm cool with that, I get it, it was a Wednesday night and ya gotta paint sometime, right? But then there's just no 'there' there. We went to the bar, which is small and had not 1, not 2, not 3, but FOUR bartenders behind it. WTF? There's no one here, people. And they were without fail Too Cool For School types. Wouldn't look at you when then reluctantly take your order types. Gotta beg to get their attention to order some food types. D-bag types! Like dude, you're schlepping drinks at a shit hole, get over it. And our dude, who we ordered a couple margy's from mixed us a crappy Milagro drink. And that is nothing against Milagro, everything against the dude.

Why, you ask? 1) He metered it out. Seriously, don't you know what a shot looks like yet? And I don't mean he metered it into a pounder glass, he metered it into a SHOT GLASS. F'ing rookie anyways. Then, he did the same thing for the second glass. Say what? Just pour to the same line as the shot glass right next to it. JHC. Then, he mixes it with some of that mix that gives you an instant need for Alka Seltzer, and pours it into a mason jar type of glass (real mexican-y, huh?) But wait, the drink he made only fills the glass about 2/3 full. He looks at it, looks around then just serves it, so it looks like somebody already slugged down some of it. Either fill up the glass or get smaller glasses.

So we look at the menu, very limited and just nothing looked that good. So we ordered chips and salsa and got 'take out' salsa in those containers you get at Taco Bell. And it was about as good as Taco Bell, too. Maybe.

The only bright spot: we sat next to a dude and two women friends of his and completely eavesdropped on an awesome story the guy had: He's a pretty new employee and had just come from his end-of-summer office party, and the CEO, a 50-ish woman, made jello shots. Cool right? Well, hold on there, Festus. She made them so she could have her male employees do jello body shots off her chest (above boob). This guy was pretty new, terrified, and married to boot so he cowered under a desk so he wouldn't be called out! Then, this CEO is no quitter so she whipped out a can of whipped cream, squirted some on her boobs and told the men to lick it off! The detail, raw emotions and his incredulous-ness (is that a word?) were the only thing that kept us around!

So we did a rare thing: One drink in and out.

I've spent way too much time on this one, its not worth it.

VdV Rating: 1

Hours:
Who cares

Su Casa (of course they don't have a website, they don't even have a sign)
404 6th Avenue (@ 8th) Greenwich Village
New York, NY
(212) 677-6097