New Beer Bar in Mission

Ready for a little test, VdV'ers? Huh...can ya guess the name of this Mission beer-ery? Damn we have sharp readers. But admit it - pretty literal clues.

I was going to put a picture of Redskins great Art Monk and a Kettle Fish , but sorry to say I feel that may have put most of our readers (but not YOU, no sirree) into a stupor. Or maybe a pic of Thelonious Monk, but come on - I barely know who he is myself. Yes, puppies it's Monk's Kettle. And it's located on 16th between Valencia and Guerrero. On the strip with Killowatt and a ton of other drinking and noshing holes-in-the-wall. 

Anyhoo, my drinking buddy and complete beer-o, or whatever the beer equivalent of a wino is, Steve, turned me onto this place so we met there the other night.

And yes, some of you will say this is a restaurant with a good beer selection. Well, I say it's a beer bar that happens to serve up some soakage. Take that. Their home page shows a beer tap, not a burger & fries.

However, they do have a ginormous Pretzel w/Mustard & Cheddar Ale Sauce that looked killer. But not for chubby 'ol J this time, I packed on some blubber over the holidays and am religiously doing the Nutrisystem boogie the few weeks or so until some weight is shed.  And don't even start with me "if ya didn't drink so much you wouldn't have to diet" crap.  Do you know me?!

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. The bar - the back part anyway - is very cool. Old oak, and these fierce-looking lions carved into each end. They got it from some old mansion. Rocking. The actual bar, ho-hum. Looks like they went down to home depot, picked up a 2"x12", stained it and called it good. And the overall deco is a bit Z Gallerie meets Bed Bath and Beyond. Oh well, now I'm just getting catty. I hear ya: "...who the hell cares, Martha Stewart, WHAT ABOUT THE BEER?!"

Oh yeah. The beer. Well, first off if you are indecisive stay away. They have a 4-page beer list. Take that Toronado!! Reminds me, I love and need to blog Toronado...my liver is going to hell in a handcart just for you people.

Anyhoo, back to the beer list. F'ing Awesome! I mean, there's a serious alcoholic running this place! Par-tay time. Woo Hoo. They break it out by Bottle vs. On Tap (doi). The bottle selection is good, not as extensive as Toronado but about 25 or so. Nice range from Czech Pilsners to Pales, Stouts and IPAs from Cali to a nice selection of Belgians. Try the Delirium Nocturnum, if only 'cuz the name's killer. The bottle selection is insane, gotta be at least 100 or so. I've turned into much more of a wino than a beer snob lately so I was lost, but impressed. Everything from Bière Brut-Style Lagers (made in the "la methode de champenoise" style like Champagne) to 'Grampa's Suds', Olympia and PBR in CANS. Yee Haw!

We threw back a Hop Stoopid from Lagunitas in Petaluma and a Hop Rod Rye from Bear Republic in Healdsburg. We're hoppy happy people! Both quality brews, the Rye took the prize. Next round, the very nice bartender talked me into the Buffalo Belgian Stout, which was Awesome. A little more subtle and mellow than many stouts. I think Steve had St. Bernardus Tripel from Belgium, and slurped it right down.

So, finally. The reco: this place has a beer for anyone, from a crusty old toothless Olympia-guzzling coot to a pretentious Urthel Samaranth Quad-sipping beer geek. I wish it was a little more beer-bar like in the decor, but the real question: would I go back? Yeah. Maybe not as a 100% destination, but hit Monk's and then hit a few of the other dozens of bars in this rockin' 'hood.

Note: They also have a decent wine list and pretty good food menu too so even if you're not a beer snob, check it out.

Monk's Kettle
3141 16th Street (between Valencia & Guerrero)
San Francisco, CA
415.865.9523