VinDivine - Living it Up John & Janine Style

Straits Café - SOMA

That's right, we eat at a mall, a kick-ass mall here in San Francisco that is. We've spoken about the Lark Creek Steakhouse in the mall, freakin' awesome cow. Hey, one of the best movies ever made had a buncha kids that worked at the mall: Fast Times at Ridgemont High. It's that magical place where Stacey Hamilton and Mark Ratner "fell in love" before the sl*t got knocked up by that slime Damone. I digress. Ya momma's alright, ya daddy's alright, they just seem a little bit weird...surrender. Ok, I'll stop.

Now it's time to tell all you VdVers about Lark Creek's neighbor Strait's Café. This place is rockin', even before we found out that our friend Lawrence usta work there a long time ago. Apparently it doubles as a "club" in the evening with a live DJ but seriously we'll go as far as to DRINK & EAT at the mall, (as long as it's not in the food court) but we certainly ain't "hangin'" at the mall at night. That's for the ole' bridge and tunnelers. What, It's true.

The question is: Would I go there if I wasn't going to the mall? The answer is: Probably not, but it's a DAMN good place to break up the shoppin' day. Takes the sting outta spending large ya know?

Apparently it's a chain, 5 spots, mostly in the Bay Area but one in the ATL. (Gotta love the ATL btw, at the airport the bartender asked us if we wanted our wine in to-go cups to take on the plane. Wow.)  Great small plates at this happenin' spot. The chicken wings are a bit weird though. You know when they take the chicken off the bone, mash it up and put it back on cuz they think you think it's cool? Well it's not. Creeps me out actually. The rest of the bar menu rocks. Go there, knock back a few, nosh and get yer shop on!

Straits Cafe
Westfield - San Francisco Center
845 Market St. $th Floor
San Francisco, CA 94103
415-668-1783
Valet Parking available on Mission St. Side

Update October 2007: Jack Falstaff's - South Beach

We've blogged about Jack Falstaff's in January of 06! Too long ago, time for an update! An entire life of a restaurant can change in 2 years people. That's why we'll always have jobs as food bloggies. Wait, do we get paid for this? Oh right. HELL NO. We do it for you VdVers, our followers.

This place has it changed for the "even betta". I mean it was good before, but now, they've cranked it up a notch. And even though it's part of the pretentious and snooty Plumpjack group, we are in love with it. The seasonal menu changes rock (although they go a bit veerd for jp's taste, bone marrow, fois grois, you know icky slimy stuff, but hey, no sushi for me either, so what the hell do I know?)

Classics you ask? You cannot go wrong with the chicken caesar (not your boring old CS, and even better, not fishy). What can you say about chicken right? I mean it's chicken! But this stuff is always dripping moist with flavor that's OTH & sprinkled with garlic chips. Hang on, I think I just drooled. You want more? Burgahh, raro. You can get it anytime btw.  Their soups are crazy good, if they have the pumpkin soup, order it, John won't shut up about it. But seriously, chef Jonnatan Leiva is the man for ANYTHING LAMB. I'll have the lamb ragu over pasta, a side of lamb meatballs, with an appy of lamb chops, please.

Being part of the all-uberly pretentious Plumpjack group (have I mentioned that?), they do have a great wine list, by the glass changes a lot though. They have a nice Gruner Veltliner which goes with all of the above.

Dessert you ask? No kidding...homemade doughnuts with dipping sauce. Someone get me some Lipitor.

Friendly bartenders? You bet! Shamsey, Jay, Joe, Roberto, they are the best and a few are even NYG fan. Jaime is always there and always smilin and say hi to Oscar! Tell 'em John and Janine sent ya!

Update June 2007: Coco500 - South Beach

We have to do an update to Coco500, I mean it is rockin'! Becoming one of our new faves. Worth huge mentioning, Scott Baird the bartender who has made the front cover of San Francisco Magazine with his famous, fabulous drinks. He's a true 'mixologist'. Love him, love him. Go for lunch and see Peggy for a superb bloody. How superb you might ask? Josh, who is kinda "light" on dolin' out the kudos, said he thinks it's THE BEST bloody he's ever had.

Speaking of lunch, the Steak Salad is OTH. I mean get it rare folks (is there any other way?). There's usually not a leaf on the plate but don't be offended, I looked up the true definition of "salad" and found this: 

A cold dish of chopped vegetables, fruit, meat, fish, eggs, or other food, usually prepared with a dressing.

Who needs greens? I've also had the chicken salad (Fulton Valley) which is crazy good, and actually comes with greens, but get it only if you're sick of the cow.

One more thing, and I'm not kidding, homemade peanut butter cups. 'Nuf said.

District Wine Bar - SOMA

It's great to have another cool drinkin' spot in the SOMA hood. Thank god they changed it from a "Just Bar Stools" store, a bit vertical IMHO. And a shwanky one at that! We went there one Sunday after an afternoon game at Nova (great place to watch a game btw), so we sorta already had our drink on. Our friend Aarti (pronounced Arthy, yeah we screwed it up too) a few others and our trusty friend Candida showed up.

The vibe? Loungy cool furniture, great fireplace. GREAT big bar, you know Johnny and Janine value a bar by how much bar space there is. We take three things into account:

1. Length of the bar
2. How many total people can fit (you need to check for that sign that no one pays attention to)
3. How many bartenders are serving

This derives how much of a % chance you've got of getting a drink quicker. You also must take into consideration your height, the height of the people in front of you and the height of the tallest person you're with plus whether they're female or not.  Let's do it for fun!

Let's say you walk in to District and it's a full house, 2 bartenders.
40 ft of bar / 250 of half-packed house = 16% chance you'll get a drink in 5 minutes since that's the time it takes for Joe bartender to get around his half of the bar. Also assumes that tallest person is hot chick with cleavage leaning a bit and Joe bartender is somewhat slow.

Tangent! The bartenders were nice. John ordered the Viogner, and the bartender said, "Here's your Vwannyay sir", hmmm, maybe they need to teach these cute bartenders more than how to gel the hair.

I won't go into the wine menu too much cuz it changes, but suffice it to say it's pretty dynamic, you can drink by the glass or get a flight. Food? Yes, but only tiny bites. Nuthin' hot yet, cheese, olives, you know noshy stuff, no soakage.

Great place to stop off before you go hood hoppin' to Nova, Momos, Paragon, Coco500, Zuppa, Tres, whew, is this the best food hood or what?

District
216 Townsend St / 3rd
San Francisco, CA 94107
415-896-2120

Roe Restaurant - SOMA

Hello VinDiviners! J&J are back from our winter hibernation, ready again to lead you down the path of over indulgence and gluttony. And if you're really lucky who knows, maybe even rehab. Anyhoo, today we come to you live from Roe Restaurant, where we dashed in for an early date-night dinner. Actually very early, almost 'blue plate special' early. 6 PM. Yipes! We're usually barely rollin' in from lunch at this time. Hey, our tummies were growlin'.

So this place is located on the corner of Howard and Hawthorne Lane, right smack dab in the SOMA Triangle of XYZ Bar, Thirsty Bear and...The Gold Club. So it shoulda been hoppin' at least with happy hour slobs. Or at least some pre (or post) gig strippers.

First impression? "Helllooo"...helllooooo. helllooooo. helllllloooo. Yep, that there's an echo. I guess an echo isn't really an impression. The impression was more like 'did someone just fart?!' 'cuz not a soul was stirring in this place. Literally.

Second impression? Pretty cool vibe actually. And since no one was there we could really check the place out from stern to...whatever that nautical phrase is. Cool rouge, asian-ish mode (you know), some wall coverings, all pretty cheaply done, but not bad. Better if the lights aren't too bright, ya feel me?

OK enough with the impressions. On to the Real Deal. We'll lay it down for ya right here right now:

• Service: Pretty attentive! Seriously, very nice cool people working here, the hostess and bartender anyways. Yep, we changed things up and sat at the bar.
• 'Got-it-together-ness': We make the intangibles tangible, people. Quantified and solidified. Roe scores a lowly 4 outta 10. Know why? They were 0 fer 3 on the vodkas we asked for. And then after dinner when our server had talked us into ordering some crackhead crazy dessert we certainly didn't need, she came back and said 'Oops, we're out'. Out from what? The 4 o'clock rush?! For the love of christ.
• THE GRUB: Pretty good menu. We went random. What did we have? Good question. OK, the Dragon Roll, a tempura-coated puppy with shrimp, eel, cucumber and a few other bits. Did the faux sushi thing so Janine would try a bite or two. So-so, not one single flavor stood out, it was kind of a melange. Which means in my book - DO NOT eat the sushi. NEXT! Miso  Black Cod. Bon Appetit, sucka! As disgusting as the name 'Cod' is, that little bastard makes it up with yum yum yummy taste - tender yet firm, subtle yet with a very direct flavor. A paradox, that Cod. You get the picture.  A nice big slab too! After that, the Kobé Beef Noodles. Hmm. We ordered the Noodle dish instead of the Entree Kobe Beef so 1) we'd get noodles and 2) we wouldn't have to pay $26 for something that only cost $12 for the noodle dish. Result: The noodles were good, wide, nice spices, not too salty. But the Kobé beef popcicles? Kobé? Kobé? Are ya sure about that? One more chance - Kobé? OK if you say so.

So where does this leave us, hep cats? I reco this place for drinks after work, grab a bite at the bar. OR, go late 'cuz me thinks there may be a scene here after 11 or so. There is a downstairs area with fashion shows, dancing etcetera etcetera. And who the hell cares about the little things like food at that point, am I right?! 5.5 outta 10 overall.

NOTE! These guys are closin' down for a few weeks in late April for a remodel and menu polishing. So look for that and check back in May.

Roe Restaurant
651 Howard Street
San Francisco, CA 94105
415.227.0218

John Collins - SOMA

AKA, 'the place across from Zebulon'   John Collins is pretty cool. And it better be, the way it has been hyped-up. The space, more than the crowd, makes it IMO. Brick-and-timber industrial, high-ceiling loft-like scene, upgraded with cool lighting, nice leather bar with a huge mirror behind it, and cool art (on a recent visit it was dog paintings. Woof!). And, JC still retains some of that original rustic feel. Nice job! 

So, I am a sucker for the industrial brick/timber vibe. I just am. And so are a lot of other folks by the look of it. Always a lively crowd, coming for the vibe and nice stiff drinks. This is a good place to hang for happy hour. 

Cool things - #1: The design, as I have droned on about for waaaay toooo loong #2: JC appears to draw a good, eclectic crowd. Bidness-people, blue-collas, all munging into a nice NON-homogeneous atmosphere - Imagine! #3: Good drink menu #4: Pretty nice folks behind the bar. 

Not-so-cool-things: #1: Some a-holes. Yeah, I know. This isn't my first rodeo. People Can Be A-holes. Got It. But I have noticed a little higher (ahole/total crowd) quotient here on occasion. Not scary, but annoying. Just sayin'. OK...last time I was there these hooligans (ha!) dropped a bunch of glasses on the floor - shards, right? - and then proceeded to put all this broken glass right on the bar 1 inch from my elbow without even telling me. I put my arm down right into it and almost bled to death (just kidding, but it did ruin my shirt). Then they were like, all, 'whatever, dude'. #2: there really isn't a #2. So that, in and of itself, is pretty cool, right?!

Go, Drink, Enjoy. But for right now it gets no more than a 7.0 outta 10, mainly 'cuz it was too talked-up and over-rated IMO. But I'm going back next week with different friends for a new perspective, we'll see. Prove yourself J.C.!

John Collins
90 Natoma Street (@ 2nd)
San Francisco, CA

Sutra - South Beach

Well well well...SoBe just got a taste of LA. And it's about DAMN TIME as far as we're concerned! Yeah baby! So, the ex-Slanted Door, ex-La Suite, ex-something else we can't recall expanse located at Brannan and Embarcadero in good 'ole South Beach opened as 'Sutra' a few weeks ago. Get it? Kama. 'Cept I didn't see a single Buddhist in sight. Or live sex demonstrations for that matter. That'll knock it down to a 10% tip in no time.

But never mind all that over-thinking. Sutra's got a cool vibe. That type of 'bigger, hipper city' vibe ya don't get that often here (not just in SoBE, in all of SF). That type of vibe where next time you go in ya might want to kick the crap outta all those LA-types. But, my friends, this is our virgin trip to Sutra and we're diggin' it. So let's live in the moment. Leave the drama and violence for later. Connect with the Buddah. Rub the Buddah. Lower. Oops.

So anyhoo, Sutra cleared out all the tables in the entry dining room area of old and made it loungy - low cushions, a few booths, made room for a DJ area (spinning some good tunes BTW), dark, sexy, edgy, wanna-be-in-a-Justin Timberlake-video cooool. No shit. Fun spot for a drink or four to get your groove on.  One knock? The goddamn bar they have had before Slanted Door - the shape just doesn't hold enough people. 

The service, at least on Visit #1, was awesome. Friendly and attentive. How attentive? I THOUGHT about getting the Miso Black Cod and it showed up. NO SHIT! Other than that it was a bit less Kreskin-ish but really - great, friendly, fun service.

The grub? Well, we stuck with the small bites and small plates - miso black cod (I liked it, Janine thought it was a bit fishy. For $9 I thought it was a little tiny); rock shrimp (way good, I usually think rock shrimp will be pretty yucky but this was perfectly seasoned, kinda spicy, and tender. Yum yum); Kobe beef skewers (kobe beef is hard to f' up); and beef in grape leaves (kinda like beef dolmas. Once again a split decision, I liked it, Janine was so-so. Maybe a certain J snacked before our RDV??)

Bottom line, people? I give it...boy this is tough...a 7.8 outta 10 That's right. Enough personality and loungy ambiance with excellent service and good food to rate purdy high in my book. Rock on!

Sutra Restaurant
100 Brannan (@ Embarcadero)
San Francisco, CA 94107

Jack Falstaff - South Beach

Even though it's smack dab in the middle of our hood, we have been avoiding this place like a Marina girl avoids wearing sweats that don't have 'Juicy Couture' stamped on their ass...like a Marina girl avoids dark roots...like a Marina girl avoids ..ah hell, it's too easy.

Another reason we shied away: all those f'ing reviews you read, that I think that crackhead Mike Bauer started, that go like 'True to it's Shakespearean namesake, Jack Falstaff embodies the spirit of the young businessman eager to explore his inner bon vivant...' What? Puke. I mean, it's a restaurant people. 4 walls, a floor, kitchen...let's not get carried away.

Last reason: since it's a part of the Plumpjack Group we feared that South Beach might turn Marina-like and well, uh, we already have a Marina here.

Anyhoo, we ventured out with our good friend Candida the other night to test it out. We started out with a few drinks at the bar. I had a Cosmo 'cuz I like a good Sauv. Blanc but all they had was NZ by the glass and I'm not a fan. Drinking New Zealand SB is like grazing in a field of grass. Eww. Anyway, they mix a mean Cosmo.

After a few, we decided to stay and eat at the bar. Very accommodating. Initially, our server was leaning toward the bitchy side of the scale, but she actually thawed a bit and got pretty fun as things went on. 

We started off with the Laura Chenel goat cheese terrine and the tuna tartare. Let's get real -the goat cheese terrine should be renamed 'Arugula & Beet salad....with a dab of goat cheese'. S-t-i-n-g-y. But the tartare was yummy, very fresh with a  great sesame & vanilla oil. But the question is: why is it that NO ONE gives you enough of those pappadam chips to put the tartare on? It's OK though, 'cuz this stuff was grrrreeeeaaatttt. On to the meal. John and I split the Southern Fried Fulton Valley Chicken, yes, really. Wow. With truffled mashers, collard greens and awesome black pepper gravy. That's some dang tasty vittles! Move over Col. Sanders, there's a new sheriff in town.

Candida had the mushroom ravioli. We stole a bite and that dish was OTH. Really. Just take our word for it, since we can't really remember any details;)

But the best part of the meal was listening to Cand's stories about the dating scene. She's doin' the Craig's List Freak-o-thon and, well, you single ladies out there in SF, we feel for you! 'Nuff said. To all the men out there, get your act together!

Jack Falstaff
598 2nd St
San Francisco, CA 94107

 

Maya - South Beach

We love Maya, and I ain't no liah, the food is on fiya, and the 'ritas ya gotta trya. OK, I hung up my rap career back in the Run DMC day...thank god for you all...movin' on. GREAT happy hour. People here are nice. Upscale authentic Mexican all the way.

We met Felipe Sandoval, the owner, New Year's Eve at Nova Bar. Guy came up and started talking to John and for SOME reason, John starts going OFF about his frustrations about a different well-known, star-owned Mexican restaurant in the hood for about 5 minutes before he tells John he owned Maya! Well done.

They have a great Prix Fix dinner, one example of something we LOVE: Tacos de puntas de filete ~ beer marinated sautéed filet mignon tacos, chiles toreados, handmade chile verde corn tortillas, tomato salsa...need i say more? You can order ala carte too. Oh, and order the chips and salsa for an appy, it's OTH. Yes, really, the chips and salsa, listen to me.

Lunch is great too, and if you work in the hood and have to get back to the office? Tacos, burritos and quesadilla, ALL grilled to order. mmmmmmm

Cost conscious? Not like us, BUT you'll get half price good 'ritas and a HUGE free appy during their 5-7 happy hour.

Our only slam? The bar chairs hurt your back, and the tiny 'rita glasses kinda lack, get some bigger glasses and we won't give ya flack, it's your good 'ritas that are oh so wack!  Thank god rhymin' isn't my day job.

Maya
303 2nd St.
San Francisco, CA 94107
(415) 543-2928

Nova Bar - South Beach

Our good friend Elliot owns this bar with Jeff. These guys rock. And what a scene it can be. Basically El, who pioneered Taco Tuesday's at The Blue Light on Union St. came to South Beach in a sort of "down economy" and started this place up with his co-founders. So you get this weird cross mix of people who've lived in South Beach for a while, and the Marina-ites that long for a less expensive place to live but can't give up The Grove and Balboa around the corner.

The good news is, the bar is long, so your chances of getting your drink, pretty good. They have "infused" vodka, John's fave is Vanilla, mix it with ginger ale, and you have yourself a cream soda, mmm. That's it for the infusions IMO. This place goes through the Fernet Branca by the gallons, has anyone read of wormwood? Wasn't that used as insect repellent?

Anyhoo, you MUST ask for a Lorelei Margarita, straight up in a 'tini glass and low on the carbs. She's great at them if you can get her to make you one. Elliot is a close second. If you go for lunch you'll be sure to seevJeff and Mark, he's cool and freaking funny. Tell him John and Janine sent ya.

Game days can be tough so get there early if you're hittin' the park. Oh and hungry, we recommend the mac and cheese, hell, get it with ham AND broccoli, go nuts. The wings hit the spot too. They just put a good salmon dish on the menu so go for it, but get it with white beans, no mashers, save the carbs for the 'ritas.

UPDATED: APRIL 14, 2007

Nova Bar
555 Second St.
San Francisco, CA 94107
(415) 543-2282