VinDivine - Living it Up John & Janine Style

Ti Couz - Mission

That's what I like - a French Creperie run entirely by Mexicans! Well, we are in The Mission, so whatdya expect?! And WTF cares anyway, when we're talkin' about slamming down the best crepes west of the Seine? I do think the French, in their typical retaliatory style (stifle your laughs, we all know they just roll over) should open a taqueria on Belden Alley staffed entirely by off-the-boat Frenchies wearing Sombreros. 

Well, on second thought we did live in Paris for 4 months and the best Mexican food we found was at a chain named 'Indiana'...'nuff said. (Disclaimer, I guess a French expat Sylvie Lemer does own Ti Couz). We always want to have our facts straight here at the Corporate HQ of VinDivine.

Anyhoo, enough frog-teasing let's get back to the subject at hand. Plus we do love almost all things French. Definitely all things Paris. OK. Now back to the subject at hand. Which is crepes at Ti Couz. Hey, ya wanna learn something? Well do ya?! Of course you do. That's why you're here. Your brains are like sponges.

Q: What does 'Ti Couz' translate to in English?

A: Ti Couz. That's messed up! So, 'Ti' of course translates to 'You' or 'Your' in Spanish, but 'Couz', which I think is French, appears to just mean 'Couz'. I checked this on babel fish so it must be true. Hey I just made a rhyme! But I just heard 'Couz' could mean 'Old House'. Maybe like 'Shack' or 'Shanty'...or, simply Old House.

So, whatever it translates to, Ti Couz is located right on Valencia @ 16th. Love love love this area. It's a cool whitewashed building with 3 separate dining rooms, you can tell they have just taken them over, over time as they've grown. Way to go Ti Couz! We've always been lucky to hit this place when it's not super-duper busy, so we just grab a bar seat or two and we're all set. I do hear that when it gets prime-time busy you can a) wait a long time and 2) get a lukewarm crepe. But until I experience that, it's simply hear-say!

Anyhoo, there lots of bar space (yay!) plenty on tables and a very cool buzz about the place. Like everybody, both diners and staff, are happy. There's some Brittany-ish artwork/murals on the walls, some Franglish notes about daily specials and what-not written on the whiteboards and just cool yet a little low-key casual to be awesome.

So this place emulates (whoa, emulates!) the Northern French area of Brittany. Breton, as they would say in their snooty French accents. Ti Couz has both sweet and savory crepes. The sweet ones (haven't had one yet, we're watching our figures) are made with wheat flour and the savory ones are made with  buckwheat . Like you give a rat's ass.

So we've been here a few times, so this isn't onna those knee-jerk reaction posts we are famous for. This is almost Bauer-like in its approach. Hint: don't get used to it! There's only room for one, maybe two self-important foodie blowhards in this town. And we don't intend to play in that sand box. No no no. We actually think Bauer is the K&L of food critics. Note: If you read this blog, you'll understand. If not, start reading you'll figure it out soon enuf or you're not sharp enough to be here. So there, go back to reading the Chron.

OK, as all you regulars know, if ya wanna know the real deal skip to the end. Ti Couz has a great, basic salad that comes in a humongous bowl. Not fancy one iota. Just a nice big fresh salad. Salad without makeup, know what I mean? Yummy. Then. The savory crepes. God damn they ROCK! (And I don't care what you say, Spencer. Stick with your pork rinds). We've had the Tomato & Fromage, and the Tomato, Mushroom and Fromage (woo hoo, lived it up that night) crepes. 

I'm tellin' ya mon ami these crepes are muy yummy. Why? The buckwheat crepes are as paper-thin as buckwheat can be, then folded in a big square with your - very fresh - fillings inside, then...wait for it...with bechemel sauce ladled on top. OMG. I just drooled on my keyboard.

Get yer ass to Ti Couz pronto for the best crepe in SF. This place gets an 8 outta 10 easy.

Ti Couz (wish I could link to their site BUT THEY DON'T HAVE ONE!)
3108 16th Street
(415) 252-7373

Pizzeria Delfina

Hi. So last Sunday afternoon we got a wild hair and ventured outside of the comfort of our SOMA hood...to..the...MISSION! OMG. "Oh no you didn't"' "Oh yes we did beeyatch".  Anyhoo, we love the Mission, big fans. Just have to get off our good for nothing asses sometimes to make it happen. I mean, random stabbings (someone we know got stabbed in the butt), theft and an impossible parking situation aside (the parking being the most egregious of the 3) this is onna the best parts of SF hands down. Killer restaurants, unique little shops and a cool vibe.

So we had thin crust pizza in our sights. And whose thin crust 'za gets more hype than anyone around The Mission? Delfina. That's who. And not just Delfina, Pizzeria Delfina, the cute little pizza joint next to Restaurant Delfina. Mmmm mmm mmm. So, first we get rock star parking and sashay up like we own the place. What?! We have to put our name on the chalkboard like mere mortals? Shit. Our mini cooper is  getting jacked as we speak! OK, at least multiple parking tix. Well, hal-a-fing-lulah we get 2 bar seats in a jiffy. Woo Hoo!

So first, this is a happenin' area on 18th and Guerrero. Ya got yer Delfina, Tartine and the Pizzeria Delfina all stacked up next nice and neat to each other. Outdoor seating gives it a good vibe too. P-D (my abbreviation from here on out for Pizzeria Delfina 'cuz I type s-l-o-w) is a compact place with a few tables outside, 4-5 tables inside plus a bar that seats about 10, that faces the (compact) pizza kitchen. We're digging it. They are crankin' out the pies, people.

Super nice servers. Pretty decent wine list by the glass or bottle to boot. And a good, tight menu with about 8 'zas, a few salads and even a couple pasta dishes.Their most popular pies include the Napoletana (tomato, anchovies, capers, hot peppers and olives...WHAT?!); Panna (tomato sauce, cream, basil, parmigiano); Prosciutto (prosciutto di parma, mozzarella, panna and arugula); and the trusty, steadfastly-loyal-like-a-Labrador retriever Margarita (more on that later). One that kinda gave me the 'ol double-take? The 'Clam Pie'. Dunno. Is it just me?

So we opted to start with the Tricolore salad. Oops. Mi scusi, the Insalata Tricolore. Really one of the best basic salads we've had. Super fresh, three different greens and shaved parm on top with a light olive oil & vinegar drizzle.

Then on to the 'za! We went for the pie that in our opinion tests the true talents of any pizza slinger - the Margarita.

First, the all-important crust. The vessel for all the fresh ingredients, you might say. So true ot their word, they lay down a pretty thin crust. No corn meal added. They kinda take their fingers and create a scalloped edge around the outside of the pie, and it gets a little thick. I like it when the crust is thin all the way to the edge. Pazza Notte in Manhattan nails it in this respect. Who cares of some stuff drips off? Anyhoo the crust is pretty solid, semi-crispy with a slight sag after a few minutes. So semi-crisp thin.

Second, the toppings. Our za had 3: 1) tomato sauce. Not tomatoes, but sauce. Fresh sauce, nice flavor but nothing like Lombardi's in NYC. And not quite enough of it. 2) basil. There's a word that chefs use for it when the basil is cut into little ribbons. We prefer fresh whole-leaf basil that you can tear up yerself and place on the pie. 3) the cheese, what else?! We went for the top-shelf of mozzy, the mozzarella di bufala. Damn fine cheese, but not quite enough. Hey I'm not lookin' to score a "Round Table double-stuffed cheese crust with extra toppings all for only $9.99" deal here, and I appreciate subtle flavors but a teensy skimpy. Just sayin'.

Oh yeah, and another thing -  if ya'll gonna be all about the 'za, a couple tips from the VdV pros:

1) It's what I call Key Ingredient Distribution. Like I said, if you have been listening, we ordered the Margarita. That means a simple, down to earth tomato - mozzarella (bufala in our case, because it's better) - basil pie. Shows off the quality of the crust, basic ingredients and skills of the pizzarellos. So...pizzarellos at P-D: ya know you're gonna cut this bitch into 6 pieces, am I right?

And here's where you caused me great frustration. Now I am pissed. I expect, on each and every god-given slice I get, to enjoy the flavors of...(see above) tomato, mozzy and basil! And when a joint that specializes in the almighty Pizza doesn't get it right I get cranky. I mean,...JUST LOOK>>

I doubt they woulda letcha out of Napoli Pizza College pulling stunts like that!

So I try to be all coy and split it even, 3 slices each with me taking the 50% with all the good stuff on it, and Janine getting left high and dry but she was too quick for me.

2) Offer hot oil, like they do in Napoli. Offer up some primo EVOO that you have steeped hot peppers in. Yum! Dribble some of that junk on any 'za and it is heaven!

So bottom-line time - is P-D worth all the hoopla? I know, I know we were a bit critical. Tough love, kittens! VdV expects a lot.  This joint serves up a very good pizza in a cool setting, but there's better in SF in our opinion, like A-16 and Beretta. And 'as good as' like Local and 'Za.  P-D, we'll give ya a solid 7 outta 10.

Pizzeria Delfina
3611 18th Street (@ Guerrero)
415.437.6800

Beretta - Mission

 So last night, we ventured out of our comfortable South Beach 'hood, along with our friend Candida to...The Mission! Yipes, on a Saturday night?! To a restaurant that doesn't even accept resies? To a place about as big as a troll's first studio apartment? Are we insane?! Well, we had been drinking 'ritas all day...

Anyhoo, this place has some serious buzz, and our chef buds Spencer & Sarah can't stop yapping about it. So off we went, even scored a taxi there within a few minutes.

First impression? Well, my first impression occurred the first time I heard the name of the place. Whenever I hear the word  'Beretta' I think of one of my fave crime series in the '70s by the same name. Yeah yeah, I hear y'all. The '70s?! You were alive in the '70s?! Simmer down. It's called late-night reruns on cable.

Anyway, he's also the same guy that shot and killed...I mean allegedly shot & killed...his wife a few  years back. Maybe his parrot told him to do it.

But enough rambling for now. Back to the story. Second impression - Happenin' place, bitches. I mean, you gotta bring your sham wow to hang with the folks here. Cool space, right on the corner of 23rd & Valencia with lots of windows and natural light, a big bar down the left side, open kitchen in the rear and small tables around the perimeter. Good lighting, and a big communal table in the middle We're not huge fans of the communal tables ourselves, but whatever.

So I tried to call ahead of time, since even though they don't take resies, they say you can call up to 45 minutes ahead of time and they'll put your name on the list. But, the phone never picked up and when we arrived were told it'd be TWO HOURS. Ha. They obviously didn't realize we were VdV. But, with the beauty and charms of Janine and Candida, we miraculously weaseled a few seats at the bar. Let the games begin!

First off, I noticed one of the bartenders was this d-bag that used to work at Tres Agaves. Always playing with his hair and makin' drinks at the same time - no shit - and talking on his cell phone behind the bar. Good for us, we were at the other end of the bar and our dude was a pro. Cool cat with some mutton chop-type beard from NoLa.

So, I know it seems like I'm being a complete snitty bioottch right now. So let's cut to the chase - we love Beretta. A solid 8.5 outta 10 in my book. So that said let me ramble on and share some insights.

First, upgrade your tap water, for chrissakes!  Or your pipes or wherever you get your non-bottled water from. Yuck. It's like drinking from the fetid swamp in the movie Cabin Fever. Seriously. You are better than this.

Second, we ordered up a couple Cosmos. Nope, no cranberry juice. The only had 'organic Elderberry juice'. WTF? I mean, I'm from Eugene and all but how 'bout stockin some Ocean Spray?! That said, the elderberry Cosmos were pretty tasty!

So let's get down to business my furry friends, like Tom Colicchio from Top Chef says 'it's all about the food'.

Wanna hear it? Here it goes:

Appys: Zucchini Parmigiana with Scamorza & Basil, I am not kidding I could gorge on this for breakfast lunch and din din. But what the hell is Scamorza?! Awesome sauce, baked perfectly and slightly burnt around the edges with thin, tender Zucchini. More stuff like this and J turns veggie. Then we had the Meatballs in Spicy Tomato Sauce. More sauce! I thought these 3 big balls were a little dense, but well cooked and again..that f'ing sauce is a constant winna! Last but not...well, maybe least: the Creamy Polenta with Gorgonzola. This was actually really good, the polenta was exquisite (who ever call polenta exquisite?!) and the only knock was that the cheese was a teensy overwhelming.

Mains: 'Za all the way. Woo Hoo! Serious pizza menu here, about a dozen or so. Spencer's fave is the Spicy Italian Sausage, Panna & Spring Onions. We trust him but went our own way. Two pies, a Margherita with Burrata, and the Funghi Misti, Tomato, Fontina & Thyme.

And the reviews are in! First, the crust. Crust aficionados that we are, we rate this crust as crust-i-licious! Awesome. Very thin, and similar to the crust at Lombardi's in Manhattan, as it holds its shape and is slightly crispy. Excellent! How excellent, you ask? I stashed some crust bits in my pocket so I could snack on them later on at home. 

Beretta goes generous on the sauce, which is slightly sweet and also robust tasting. Like, super fresh bitch. DIg it! And the toppings are OTH fresh, the Burrata cheese dollops were jeesy good, the 'shrooms were awesome and the spices were dead on. And we found a partial slice the next AM and chowed it down like nobody's business. Slurp. Nothing tests good 'Za like the morning after taste.

We deem Beretta as one of the Top 5 pizzas in all of SF! And to boot, they have one of our fave unknown wines on the list, a Nero D'Avola, a kick you in the teeth red wine from Sicily. Woo Hoo! And they also have a throw-down solid cocktail menu that I'm definitely treating like my bitch next time around.

GO NOW! Like I said, 8 1/2 outta 10. Giggidy!

Beretta
1199 Valencia St
(between 22nd St & 23rd St)
San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 695-1199

Luna Park - The Mission

So post-CrushPad meeting where about 10 of us discussed the creation of our next KILLER ZIN (we just scored some '07 fruit from the Turley Vineyards), the lot of us was hungry. Hey winemaking (well, discussing winemaking while noshing on crackers & cheese) takes it out of you!

We're in the Dogpatch area, where I wish I would have done some real estate speculating 5 years ago, and the first place I think of, being sooo in-the-know ;) is Piccino, the new Italian spot off of 22nd and 3rd. But I think 10 people at 9PM on a Thursday is prolly a no-go in a place that seats...about 10. So we frantically call around. Slow Club? Nope. Luna Park? Yessirreebob. We are IN.

Bonus, since J&J were carpooling with our buds Jonathan and Brian in their fancy new Caddie SUV (hey, way to go green, guys!), we didn't even have to sweat parking! Got drop-off service right at the door.

So the thing is, ever since this place opened 6-7 years ago I had heard plenty about it. Not necessarily good or bad or actually any detail. Just the name. So we stroll in there with zero preconceptions.

Cool, kitschy vibe. I think the folks at Luna call it 'Flea Market Chic'. Whatever, you get the idea. Dark, blood-red walls, lots of  wood, semi-Eugene like (if you've been there, you'll know) laid-back, definitely not the oh-so-popular and cool stainless steel and glass decor.

First impression: Well I guess second impression since I already said it seemed cool and kitchy...not so good. I ordered a couple 'ritas when we walked in. Took literally over 5 minutes for the person to figure out how to make a margarita, so I quickly said - "hey, you may as well make it a double". I left out "because as inept of a bartender you are I may die of thirst waiting for you to make a second round" part. Anyhoo, so when we finally get them, the tab is $22. Per drink. WTF?!

But hey, we get seated quickly which was great, I really did expect a wait.

B-I-G menu. Lotsa stuff, 8-10 Appys, 1/2 dozen salads, 8 pastas, 8-10 entrees (basically every type of meat imaginable) and about 6-7 sides. Dang. All pretty reasonably priced too, appys sub $10 and most entrees around 16-18 bones. Leans toward comfort food (corn dogs, fries, mac ' cheese, pot roast...did I say Corn Dogs?!) with some nice non-comfort stuff thrown in too, like Curry Pork Satay with Mint-Cucumber Sla, Nicoise Salad, and Grilled Alaskan Salmon with Beluga Lentils, Frisée, Orange, Olives, Tomatoes and Basil. Think the strategy is to have something for everyone? Well it works. Hell, like I said we had 10 people at our table and I don't think anyone had the same dish!

Well, I wish I could report back to y'all with a review of something more exciting, but J&J ordered mighty boring...Nicoise Salad and a Burger. Yep, you guessed it...Rare, Cheddar, no bun. That's us. But of course with a side of fries. I'm not gonna  yammer on about a Salad Nicoise, it was solid. The seared tuna was muy tasty. The burger? Showed up rare.  Is this chef from France?! Whoa. He or she certainly took our order seriously. Polished it off. Don't kill me, but I can't remember much about the fries.

Next time around I'd try the Pork Cutlet stuffed with Gruyere and Shrooms. Breaded, just in case you were wondering.

Everyone seemed to enjoy their food, and of course we had a blast. Service was good enough.

So bottom line: I give this place a 7 outta 10. You get what you pay for, the food is solid. Nothing hugely memorable here to make me rush back, but if I'm in the Mission and hungry for comfort food I'd give it a go. Oh, no valet and parking blows, good luck with that.

Luna Park
694 Valencia Street (nr 18th)
San Francisco, CA, 94110

Delfina - The Mission

I don't know why I've waited so long to go to this place. John's been but alas, I have not. So when our friend Aarti said, hey let's do Delfina for "D" (she's wading through restaurants in our great city by the alphabet) I said Heyohhh, I'm in. Secretly I was "dying" to try out the pizza, boy was I surprised that you can only get it next door at the Pizzeria Delfina.

I'm sure there's some crackhead crazy zoning rule in SF that says you can't bring Pizza into the restaurant and you can't bring alcohol into the Pizzeria, cuz alcohol and pizza don't go together. Tell that to the drunkards at Golden Boy at 3am.

Anhoo, about 4 of us went, thank goodness we took cabs a) cuz we were gonna get our swerve on and drinkin' and drivin' don't go well together and b) cuz parking ssuuuuucccckkkkssss. Tiny place, buzzing like a mofo, reminds me of when the Slanted Door usta be cool.

The food: The Fresh-stretched mozzarella with padron peppers and a tomato toast looked good but no one got it. Next time. I went kinda boring but since I was in the mood for Pizza I stuck with Italian: Spaghetti with plum tomatoes, garlic, extra virgin olive oil and peperoncini. They did it up right. Aarti had the Meyer Ranch flatiron steak and French fries and wooohoooo, those yelpers are right, the fries rock! I'm a sucker for Pansotti anywhere, so the Pansotti with walnut sauce was rocking too.

The wine list? Fantabulous but Italian only here folks. And for some reason...everyone always gives me the wine list. Huh? Wtf do I know about Italian Reds? They do have some great wines that are reasonably priced: Rosso di Montalcino came in right around $50.

Would I go again? Yes, but only after I get the pizza. :^)

Delfina
3621 18th St.
San Francisco, CA 94110
415.552.4055

Range - Mission

Well, we probably won’t be calling this Range ‘home’ anytime soon…this fairly new place in the Mission, is up against a lotta local contenders – Delfina, Luna Park, Limon, etc.

Hey, don’t get me wrong – it’s a cute, cozy, cool spot w/ a decent wine list. Plus, we got rock-star front row parking (in THE MISSION no less). Thank god 4 of us squeezed our asses into the Mini Cooper. Bob and Jane were with us. Plus the place has been well reviewed by 'the pros' like Mike Bauer, etc...whatever. So we were off to a pretty happy little beginning. But that whole pesky menu/food thing…it needs a bit of work. Why, you ask? Well, it bugs us when the appetizer menu at a place is the only part of the menu you might want to order from. Whatdya think about THAT, Michael Bauer!? Hmm? And no, I'm not jealous 'cuz you actually get paid to review;)

For starters – decent selection of appys, Poached Pears w/ Feta Cheese and mâche (what the hell is mâche, anyway?) was puny, but OK. Hey, it's pears + feta. Good. The Escarole Salad was flat-out b-o-r-i-n-g (maybe blame that on us for ordering a basic salad anyway). The Venison was the best of the appys we had, Bambi was pretty tasty. Tender with just the right amount of ‘game’. Plus the portion was great.   Next time we’d try the Quail or the Goat Cheese & Sorrell Pasta.

The entrees just kinda fell flat. Our server recommended that we stay away from the Steelhead, which looked like the best bet. Jane and Janine know how to take a hint;) So we had the Bevade (flank cut) Steak, which was highly recommended, and the Roast Chicken. The steak tasted like wood. The little gratin/broccoli rabe cake accompanying it was tasty though. Woo hoo! The chicken was...fine. Big piece of bird, if that’s what you’re into. But it was 'safe' chicken. Like your mom (if your mom had the culinary proficiency of mine) would make. Nothing against the fowl, but we don’t travel across town and risk having to park a mile away from a restaurant for safe chicken. Hell, we can cook chicken! Oh yeah, and the other dishes all just had that something that turned us off: Spaetzle, Kale, Mushrooms with Citrus Cream just didn’t sound like the perfect complement to Short Ribs, for instance.

We did enjoy the wine, and the conversation. We found out the Bob has now become FASCINATED with robots. You name it too. Guess who is gettin' a Roomba for his birthday? Hey Bob, watch iRobot, they always turn on ya in the end!

So there ya go, people. Maybe we hit an off week, night, whatever and they may change their menu often. Let us know your thoughts!

Range
842 Valencia St.
San Francisco, 94110
415-282-8283