VinDivine - Living it Up John & Janine Style

Cristalino Brut Rosé

+: Cheap! $7.99 per bottle. Excellent value

-: A tiny bit sweeter than I'd like

Bubbly - it's not just for breakfast anymore. But it certainly does help perk up a foggy SF AM, brutha. And in these trying economic times, why spend more than necessary, I say!
I mean, the Cristalino Brut Rosé Cava ('Cava' means itsa bubbly from Spain, folks) is no Krug, but at $7.99 a pop how the hell can you go wrong? Well, I guess you could go wrong if it tasted like ass but this hooch brings some nice berry aromas with delicate strawberry and cherry flavors. Yummy! Could be slightly more dry, and the bubbles could be ever so slightly more fine, but cheap drunks can't be too choosy!

So just in time for your 4th of July boozefest, pick up a case or three. It will be a hit and you won't break the bank account paying for it. At least use it to serve to guests that wouldn't know a Roederer Cristal from a  can (yes I said CAN) of Sophia 'carbonated white wine'! Hey, we all have friends like that.

You can find it at wine.com or if you just can't wait and need some now you can get it at...damn this hurts...I don't know if I can bring myself to say those two letters that are the bane of my existence...K...and...L. Whew. That was tough. Actually someone must have slipped some happy pills to all the staffers there on Monday, there so so many 'Hi, how are you?''s that I actually started to think K&L management might be taking my wrath of them and their 'tudes to heart! Nah, prolly not.

Dashe 2005 Zinfandel - Dry Creek

Essence of pond water. Wait. Maybe I am being hasty. Swirl. Smell. Taste. Ahh yes, that's it! Fetid pond water. I bought this wine 'cuz it has a wave-riding chimp on the label. Sooo kewt. Yeah that's right, we think the chimp needs  someone in their corner right now given the recent negative press on the primates.

I mean, it's not the fiddle, it's the fiddler, catch my drift bitch? So shut your pie holes. And don't think chimps are snugly little pets. They'll grab your weapon and take ya for all you've got. Or gnaw your face off.

Anyhoo, hey I hear good things about Dashe, that's why I purchased it from those snobs over at K&L. And  maybe (listen here, libel lawyers) I got hold of a bad bottle. Maybe in 2005 they watered the vineyards with bad swamp water. I mean, I want to like this stuff. Maybe those fine people at K&L had it sitting in the sun for a day or two before bringing it into the warehouse, who knows? Anyone can make a mistake.

But I'll tell ya one thing, neither J #1 or J #2 could stand this wine. We did not finish it. We tried it again the next day. Ditto. Are we wrong? Join in and tell us, come to the chimp's rescue!

I do promise that next time I am desperate enough to visit K&L I will pick up another bottle (not 2!) and give it another go. And if it hits the spot I will be the first to re-publish a kick-ass post!

Oh yeah, once my fuzzy eyes cleared up, I noticed the chimp isn't wave-riding, he's riding bare-back on some bizarre-looking fish.  People at Dashe, what's the story? Put it on your website!

Dashe Cellars
55 4th Street
Oakland, CA
(510) 452-1800

El Burro 'Kickass' Garnacha

Hey I like donkeys as much as the next guy:

"Hey Donkey, what's going on? You're a donkey, you eat apples right? I like that. You got your picture on this wine bottle right? I used to run wine.com. OK, talk to ya later donkey, say hi to your mother for me."

So if this just came across as totally random, click here for a knee-slapping hilarious SNL skit with Andy Samburg posing as Mark Wahlberg. Then re-read above;) And LAUGH this time, hear me?!

So why did I even bother to give this cheapass (wasn't sure yet if it was kickass) vino the opportunity to tickle my taste buds? It had a donkey on it, sucka! Don't you read?! And I like Spanish reds. Oh yeah, and it only cost $8 bones. 

So back to the subject at hand. This is a cheap wine with a donkey on the label. So let's unwrap it and see what's under the covers:

Spanish wines are well made, they aren't like those snobbish, spoiled private-school wines from Cali that get all sorts of special attention. These Spanish puppies need to sink or swim as there is no irrigation allowed, real Darwin-ish.  This burro has a deep purple color, with ripe raspberry and subtle spice on the nose. On the palate, you ask? Well, since you asked nicely: the berry fruit comes through, mainly raspberry and maybe some cherry and a little vanilla to boot. I did think this vino could have had some stronger tannins and a little more 'kick-ass' to it, as the taste withers way pretty fast. In wine-speak that means the finish is somewhat lame.

So usually wines with quirky labels and names are trying to make up for a crappy product. And that just pisses me off! So is this a kickass vino or just a cheapass buzz potion? Well, for $8 (I know, I have mentioned this 10 times now, but I am obsessed with delivering you, our VdV bitches, some relief in these dour economic times) this Burro does kick some booty, especially when they only get ya for about $8. There I go again. Anyhoo, go get yerself some! Get a case for less than a Benjamin - woo hoo!

You can find it for $8 at Grand Vin. Did I mention it only costs $8? And only $83.88 for a case!

Guigal Cotes-du-Rhone 2005

"Ahh zee fruity scent, ze earthy aromas, zee seductive, full body, come into my arms so I can taste you, mon cherie!" Wow. Dunno why the spirit of Pepe Le Pew, one of my favorite cartoon characters, just invaded my psyche. That little vermin just holds a special place in my heart. 

Anyhoo, the Guigal Cotes-du-Rhone is a french wine, and Pepe is a French skunk, so it isn't completely random. So lay off!

First off, I can guaran-f'ing-tee it, if you see the 'E. Guigal' name on just about any vino, rouge or blanc, it'sa-gonna-be good. 'Eee Gee-gal' Say it with me.  And in my humble (yeah right...humble. Ha) opinion, the Cotes-du-Rhone from good 'ol E is da bomb. French lesson number 2: 'Cotes-du-Rhone' simply means 'Rhone hills'. And Rhone is a wine growing region in Southern France. Don't y'all feel smarter now? 

OK, the '05 is a half-and-half blend of Syrah and Grenache grapes. Yowsa, two great tastes that taste great together! This juice has it all - an awesome deep ruby color, with sweet aromas of ripe blackberry and cherry. The aromas deliver on the tongue as well, with the addition of a little white pepper and....what is it....hmmm...cocoa!...that's it, on the finish. Oh yeah, and a little chewiness. Kind of a denseness that makes it feel good in your mouth. OK, I'll stop there before it gets weird.

Y'know what else is impressive? They crank out a few million bottles of this hooch a year, and the quality is still C'est Magnifique. Way to go, Guigals!

Y'know what else? This vino won't cost ya all your Euros either, I picked it up at Whole Paycheck, I mean, Whole Foods, for about $15. Which means you could prolly find it anywhere else for closer to $10! Check out Wine Library or Wine.com

And I will only leave you with this, as my varmint homey Pepe was always fond of saying "Zee game of love is never called on account of darkness"

2005 Schramsberg Brut Rosé

So my kittens how did 'ol J&J ring in a new era of politics Tuesday AM? Hmmm? Hell, more than just a new era of politics, a new world, bitches! With a bottle...I mean a small glass...OK, OK the entire bottle of the '05 Schram Rosé! Woo Hoo!

I mean, between celebrating the departure of that incompetent rat-bastard Bush outta DC, then that scheming shooting f-face torturer thief Cheney. Adios, D-bags!!

And then the real toasting for the most bad-ass incoming Prez in our lifetimes, Obama. How couldn't we drain an entire bottle? Yes We Can. So give us a break! Yeah baby!

Congrats Obama! Now get down to bidness and kick some ass, we know ya will. And we'll all help ya.

Anyhoo, as this is not a political blog, but a wining & dining bog, let's get down to bidness ourselves, and squawk about this quite quaffable bubbly...

Any red-blooded American will agree that a momentous occasion such as this necessitates some serious hooch to mark the date. And the Schram brings it. Why, you plead?

1) At this early in the AM, a slightly sweet, elegant Rosé beats shots of Hornitos. On most days anyway.

2) I like the color. A cross between peaches and strawberries. Awwww...

  3) Tiny bubbles. 'Nuff said.

  4) This bubbly makes me happy and it tastes GREAT!!

  Speaking of taste (finally, I know I know), here's my take -

 This bad ass load o' bubbles is about 2/3 Pinot Noir and the rest Chardonnay. So what?! Well, here's what, sucka: It's a nice blend for a Rosé, the Pinot lends a nice, fruit-forward charm to the wine. The Chard provides balance and nice, subtle yeast notes as well as contributing to a long, loquacious finish...Wow, I just had a Robert Parker moment, excuse me. As usual, just take my word for it! We Are VinDivine!

Goes for about $32 bones, which is a steal for a bubbly of this caliber. Hell, I'd even drink it after noon!

The only downside? I was in a desperate rush and had to go to those d-bags at K&L. I bet they're Bush + Cheney-loving Republicans. So I recommend buying it direct from Schramsberg, or anywhere but K&L.

Happy bubbly!

Cosentino 'The' Zin?

 Well well aren't we feeling rather frothy about ourselves, Consentino? I mean, there's only a handful of "The's" that I know of: and if you're gonna count yerself among them ya better BRING IT STRONG. DO YOU HEAR ME!? Seriously.

   I mean, we have: The Hotel, an amazing place in Vegas.





    The The (hint: band from the early 90's)





    The Edge (hint: if you need a hint I'm gonna smack ya )







  And let us not overlook The Body

And I am happy to announce that one of the most douchy d-bags in the world  is no longer running this winery, and that's the only reason I took it off the verboten list and gave it a go. Let's call him "The D-bag". Quite fitting  (name withheld so VdV does not get slapped with a libel suit).

Anyhoo, let's dispense with the "The" randomness and focus on the task at hand. Which is...hold on I forgot. What'd you say? Oh yeah! Shedding some VdV light on the quaffiness of The Zin.

Well, first when you pop the top off this sucka, Marley's "We're jammin, we're jammin blah blah..." should start playing. Yeowsa!

This thing is a big brawny beea-yatch. No denying it. It's super rich, with strong flavors of dark cherry and ripe blackberry. And she'll knock you to the dirt with a 14.6% alcohol level. Actually seemed more alcoholic than that, I think due to some serious extraction which makes this wine kinda hot. And somehow a little green even on the finish. Hey that's what I tasted! Maybe 'cuz it's from Lodi. What the hell good ever came from that barren hell hole anyway?!

So bottom line...this is a big wine. But is it 'The' Zin? Hells no. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I wouldn't kick it outta bed, and I will grant it a 7 outta 10. Actually, no. A 6 1/2 because a) It sells for $30, it should be closer to 20 bones, and b) I have to doubt a winery that would ever hire that d-bag (see above, you skimmer!).

If you want a truly killer Zin, try the Ottimino or the Valdez. We have written these bad boys up in previous rants, check it!

Cosentino Winery

7415 St. Helena Highway
Yountville, CA 94599
(800) 764-1220

Sage Vineyard 2005 Cabernet Sauvignon Blend

Woo Hoo!! Damn the Olympics are messing with my beauty sleep. I tried, for the love of christ how I tried, to put those draconian sporting events aside, watch my back-to-back Law and Order and pass out at 10 PM like I did back in the good ol' pre-2008 Beijing Olympics days, but again, No Go. Hey OLYMPICS: Start earlier!

Anyhoo, tonight's insomniac reason? The US men's volleyball match vs. those pesky Russians. When did I start caring about volleyball?!?! Especially men's volleyball? Anyone can understand a certain interest in track and field, esp with Lolo Jones and Sheena Tosta running around. And beach volleyball, anytime. Plus Phelps and Bolt and all 'dem other record-smashers. But men's volleyball?  Hey, it's competition, that's all I can chalk it up to. So even after quaffing several brews and lotsa BBQ tonight I am again wide awake at 2 AM, sucking up to NBCs sick programming.

So I am counting on this new, sassy Napa Cab blend I found the other day at a certain local wine shop ...known by two letters and an ampersand...you know... to help the sandman visit me soon. Anyway, back to the wine - the 2005 Sage Veedercrest Cabernet Blend.  Yeah baby! I mean, Mt. Veeder Cabs are right up there with the best from Howell Mountain, Diamond Mountain and I am sure, other mountains.

The details, you plead for? OK, enough rambling. Holy crap Russia just tied the v-ball match at 2-2! Yipes! Oh yeah, back to the wine: Odd, you may say bizarre, that I like this wine. Why? Because it's a blend, as I mentioned above. Itsa  40/30/30 of Cab Sauv, Merlot and cab Franc. Kinda Bordeaux-ish, which if bother to read (or as you said, Gants) remember what we preach to you, we despise. Barnyard. Cow crap if barnyard isn't specific enough, is how we rate most Bordeaux blends. But not this puppy!

Why does this vino rate a mention on VinDivine, my kittens? Well, Mt. Veeder fruit rocks. Bottom line. And although some blends just turn into mutt wines, they did this one right. The Cab Sauv comes through strong, and the Merlot and Franc contribute what they should - some balance, great nose and  structure. The end result is a kick-ass wine with blackberry and dark cherry notes, perfect tannins and overall, just damn good taste! I have a feeling this one's a keeper. Ooops, too bad I just polished off the bottle! Get yerself some! And for a Veeder Cab, it's cheap - about $35 bones.   

Hey Sage: Invest in a damn website, wouldja? I can't even find a bottle shot. Help me help you!

JHC, US just beat Russia in 5 sets, 15-13! Now I know why I stay up for this stuff!

An Open Letter to K&L Human Resources

Dear K&L HR,

It's me. Your favorite Mystery Shopper. I don't ask for a dime. Just your consistent, enduring snobbery. And for that I thank you. Hell, what else would I jabber about?!

Sooo. Time stamp this one K&L HR: Friday July 18 3:19-3:27 PM PST. SOMA branch. No one can buy a mixed case faster than me! Especially because no one ever bothers to interrupt me to see if I need help! Or bothers with idle chit-chat at the checkout line. Time-suckers like 'Hi there", "Did you find everything OK" and "Thanks, come again" are so superficial and they downright invade my personal space. Glad you understand. If I ever have to visit Stalingrad I'll come here first for some immersion training.

So why, with all this bitching, do I pull out a baseball statistic ".500" for today's visit? Well, 'cuz one person was quite friendly and one was a dismissive prick. That's why.:) Hey, you asked.

So, back to you, HR: You have a slightly older gentleman that was working this shift. Gray/white hair, spectacles, and a beard...Holy crap you hired Santa Claus! Oh. Nevermind. That was silly. Anyhoo this guy was very nice, asked if he could help me and created a less-than-icy situation at the check out. 'Cuz the dude that rang me up - back to physical descriptions here.

BTW HR, why don't you make your people wear name tags?! It'd be so much easier! Hmmm, maybe a symptom of a deeper issue...Well, enough of my armchair psychiatry. So the checker whisked in (no one was behind the counter), didn't even look at me or utter a word, and just started ringing up the bottles. 'Robotic' comes to mind. Oh yeah, the physical description! Ha. Lost myself for a second. Tall, 'bout 6' I'd guess, mid-30's, spends too much time getting that hair coiffed, little earring in the right lobe. Oh, one last detail I almost forgot. Gender = male. That may help you nail it down.

But like Santa swooping down on a snowy rooftop to bring cheer to the kiddies, your star employee that previously offered help came right over, discussed the wines and foods they went with as he was boxing them (although he fell kinda silent when he saw the $9 bottle of Bogle) and...wait for it...offered to help lug it out to the car! Kudos, nice person without a name tag so I cannot give you real props!

Two takeaways today, HR:
1) As I have asked before, talk to Finance and free up a few bucks for a couple more mini-shopping carts. It will have a positive ROI.
2) Batting .500 might earn ya  a Ty Cobb award in baseball, but it's a pretty crappy standard for a business!

2005 Sequel Syrah

I know what you're thinking: 'Syrah? How desperate were you guys?! Must've been down to that or the 40 of Olde English in the back of the fridge!" Yep, any 'o you VdVers that follow us know we don't have a ton of praise for most of this varietal, reminiscent of Vick's Formula 44 in at least color and finish. Eww.

But I went into a great wine shop the other day (Ha, I can almost hear the K&L people's anticipation: "We made it! They really do like us!" Nope, suckas it's Time for Wine in Tahoe City. If they had a website I would link to them) to get a gift for a Syrah fan, and figured "hey I like the label on this one." That's right, even stewards of the wine-tasting world like us are not immune to a great label to help make the buying decision.

Hey, this Columbia Valley (that's in Washington) wine is pretty damned good! Beats the pants off of just about any Aussie Shiraz I've had, that is 4 sure. Why? Well grab a drink, pay attention and I'll tell ya!

This puppy is refined for a Syrah. So many are hot, over-extracted with awful taste. The Sequel is loaded with dark cherries and chocolate, but with great balance and minerality. And slightly oaky tannins that don't overpower the fruit. I know only rookies typically use the term 'smooth' to compliment a wine, but I cannot resist (or maybe as some of you more snarky types have accused, maybe I am just a rookie!).

This wine is made by the same winemaker that made the legendary Penfold's Grange for fifteen years - John Duval. Glad ya learned a few things and made a tamer, more well-rounded wine this time around, Duval!

Oh yeah, that 'gift' never made it to its recipient! Bad for him, good for us!

Goes for about $50 bones. And like Time for Wine, Sequel doesn't seem to have a website either! Google it, you'll find a retailer to get it from.

Veña Godeval Cosecha

Well, hello there sexy. Yeah I'm talkin' to you. You are sexy. Say it with me: "I am a sexy animal". Feels good doesn't it? Wait, before we get carried away, maybe I just have wine goggles on. 'Cuz I just polished off a bottle of killer wine that you've never heard of. Betcha. Even you, Gants!

Let me introduce to your fizzled taste buds (it's Sunday, we know how y'all party on the weekends!) the 2005 model of Cosecha from Veña Godeval. Yummy. First A couple facts - 1) This is a white wine (people in the know would say 'blanco'). So, I'll say Blanco, you can keep calling it White Wine. Oops, I just got snarky...I hear I get that way sometimes. 2) This Blanco hails from Spain, one of my fave fave fave regions these days. Where in Spain? Hell if I know, somewhere named Galicia, I think in Northwest Spain. Whatever,  Google Map it if you care that much. This isn't geography class.

So what makes this wine yummy?

It's good. That's it...JHC, you need more detail?! My word isn't good enough anymore? Fine then:

Well, characteristic of many Blancos, this Cosecha has a crisp minerality that is just so fresh and clean.  Wait, isn't that an Outkast tune? Anyhoo, the Cosecha has bright pear flavors, a little green apple,  with a very very subtle pine note. No shit! The acidity is perfect, not so much it makes you pucker but tight enough to make you smack your lips.

Where to find this wine? Well, our buddy Brian Reccow, who started Thirsty Bear and is the owner of Sol y Lago in Tahoe City, gave us a bottle. So I think you need to drag your carcass here to SyL and get yerself some. Rockin' tapas, killer tacos, get the SyL Margarita, and the...wait for it...BEST chips & homemade salsa on the Lake. Get there Pronto! Chill - we're gonna blog SyL next!