Lemme tell ya something: anyplace that allows you to bring your dog is gonna earn a big thumbs up from VdV. We initially stumbled across this awesome dive bar on one of our daytime weekend jaunts to the Mission after a Pizzaria Delfina trip. And we’ve kept on comin’ back, kittens. Not enough to be called ‘regulars’, but maybe…’familiars’.  Yee haw! And what a fantastic dive bar The Five Hundy Club is.

Why? ‘Cuz it’s got all the ingredients, suckas: a kickass juke box, cheap! drinks (how does a $5 Martini sound? Not as good as 6 for about $30!), onna those cheesy photo booths to help you remember how trashed you got, some tatted-up bartenders, and the required, yet near impossible to perfect, lived-in, ‘mangy’ feel. Banged up. Like you’ll feel after you leave. But in a good way.

Plus 500 gets a cool, eclectic crowd. Weekend days you’ll get the neighborhood regulars (and their dogs), kind of a crusty, rough around the edges bunch. Visualize the crowd at Mamacita or Tipsy Pig in the Marina. Got it? Ha. Now put a big ‘opposite’ sign in front of that image! No Biffs or Buffys here. At least not when we’ve been, but don’t sue us if 1 or 2 slip by. Thursday-Saturday nights you’ll get a younger, pretty hip urban crowd. And not Marina d-bags either, all-in-all good, fun party people.  This place is for drinkers, not posers, bitches.

If ya go on a weekend day (I’d say one of the premier times for dive bar crawling), there’s usually some random food in a crock pot right by the door. I’ve never really figured it out, but it seems to be fair game for whoever wants to dig in. Either grab a seat at the bar, or snag one of the booths. I think the bar is best for daytime, and booths best for nights. We’ve never walked (loose translation) outta 500 Club without having some fun chit chat with at least a couple random people. And a cheap buzz. So go! And bring cash or your ATM card ‘cuz 500 Club doesn’t take plastic, even if it’s your snazzy new Visa Black. Wait. If you’re sporting on of those. head back to the Marina.

P.S. Gotta love the directions listed on their website: Put that cigarette out and tell the cabbie “Da 500 Club!”

Hours:
Mon-Fri 3p-2a
Sat-Sun 12p-2a

Chris Fogarty, AKA One Of The Nicest Guys In The World, runs this place and he’s turned it into a f’ing goldmine. And it should be. We love the shit outta this place and the other J, even though she’s all NYC and everything, has adopted the Ducks and grooves on this place too. Hey good ConDuckt! (har dee har har). Plus, how the hell do you root for a ‘Pride’?

Why are we giving R the props? Read on, kittens. For one, ‘cuz of the the people working there. Ed, Ethan, Todd, Chris, Miguel and the rest of the gang are always fun, chill and overall teflon on drama. Pretentious? Want me to slap ya silly? OK, bitch.

It’s divey. Boo Yah! Love it. Long old-time bar on the left side, small tables on the right and a small little loungey area in the back. Smack f’ing dab in the Tender Nob (please no ‘I’ve got yer tender nob right here’ jokes. Get some originality would ya?). This place just fits right in. Like a glove.

The crowd. Neither hipster or d-bag, just right for the most part. People here seem to shed their shit when they walk in the door. Well, not always, but you get the pic. (Disclaimer: We don’t come here late night weekends much, so don’t sue us if there’s a d-bag or d-hag or two lingering around at those times).

Its not really a sports bar, but a Ducks sports bar, you just have to experience it. Rabid, you could say. And  yeah, there’s enough TVs (actually pretty good flat screens) to make it a good spot to watch Sunday football as well.

Drinks! I think they have the market cornered on Bud Light. Holy crap, I guess for $2 for a tall boy they’re gonna move that stuff. And oh yeah. Fernet too! That shit is deplorable IMO. But they have a dandy selection of hard stuff like Hangar One Lime and they know how to mix ‘em, baby!

Food. The Piece de Resistance! Oops. They don’t serve food here. But they’re cool about ya bringing in damned near anything ya want to gnaw on. And there’s lots in the ‘hood, awesome burritos next door, pizza down the street, you get it. Just clean up after yourself!

For us this is a go-to weekend destination, typically during the afternoon, always for Ducks games but fun at night too.

VdV Rating: 4

Hours:
Mon-Fri. 6:00 p.m. – 2:00 a.m.
Sat. 11:00 a.m. – 2:00 a.m.
Sun. 10:00 a.m. – 2:00 a.m.

R Bar
1176 Sutter Street
(between Larkin St & Polk St)

San Francisco, CA 94109
(415) 567-7441

Anyhoo, we love love love the ‘Hut. As much we as we aren’t that turned on by the specific area (B&T’ers, a-holes blowing off way too much steam in North Beach, perverts coming and going from the strip clubs…no that wasn’t me!) BH is a destination for VdV. Word.

And here’s why: It’s a cool Tiki Bar. And what red-blooded American doesn’t like a good Tiki Bar? Hey you! I saw that look. Damn Fascist Pig! Plus we are facing somewhat of a Tiki Bar shortage, with the closing of the Tonga Room by those capitalistic pigs that don’t want their home prices to suffer, or have the wrong crowd hanging around their ritzy-ritz Fairmont Hotel Condos.

Anyway, Bamboo Hut has an awesome vibe, people! Hell, it’s called the Bamboo Hut! Kinda divey (in a good way), a little of that Trader Sam’s going on (in a good way) but apart from the laid back island-ish ambiance (sand on the floors, tikis, island decor), it’s the fun crowd (well, mostly but on the wrong night you’ll get huge amounts of d-bags and even a few d-hags) but mostly killer folks like Mario (behind the bar, cool, fun, always laughing, kickin’ it always), James (GM, cool, a crack-up but keeps shit in line) that keep it real; from bringing in some awesome DJs, mixing some drinks that’ll turn ya retarded, and in general just making for a rockin’ good par-tay scene. There’s drinkin’, dancin’ and…wait, what’s that redneck joke?

Redneck: ‘Hey boy, we’re having a party tonight. There’s gonna be a lot of drinkin’, dancing’ and screwin’ goin’ on’.

Boy (not really a ‘boy’ per sé. More like a young man. Of legal age. A little nervous but trying to be polite): ‘Hey mister redneck, sounds like fun. What should I bring?’

Redneck: ‘Don’t make much difference to me, boy. It’s only gonna be the two of us.’

Anyhoo, apologies for the diversion. And no, the Hut is not a redneck place. This was a tangent. Just go with it.

So, ya got your tropical tiki-ish drinks like the Giant Flaming Bowl of Fire (Seriously. I cannot recall the actual name, but ask for the Giant Flaming Bowl of Fire and I’m sure they’ll know what you mean), the Chi Chi, buckets of brew for cheap, awesome happy hours and great tunes. No matter what mood you’re in when you walk in, you’ll have a smile on that face of yours in no time.

BTW Mario does not promote himself strongly enough. On the side he’s also an accomplished artist, with some kick-ass hip-hop-ish tunes. Look for Wreckelekt on MySace. Or check him out on iTunes. Or hell, better yet just go to Bamboo Hut and see him in person. Bam.

OK, I think this review sets the record for most use of (parenthesis) and ‘ish’-es. Wow.

VdV Rating: 4

Hours:
Tue. 8:00 p.m. – 2:00 a.m.
Wed-Fri. 5:00 p.m. – 2:00 a.m.
Sat. 7:00 p.m. – 2:00 a.m.

Bamboo Hut
479 Broadway (near Kearney)
San Francisco, CA 94133-4513
(415) 989-8555

So we hit Pier 23 (again) the other Sunday and were reminded why this place rules. Good tunes, good times, ran into some random friends and just bottom-line made for a killer Sunday. And for a change I’m just gonna jump right into the meat (ewww) rather than beat around the bush. Wait. I think I prefer the latter. Anyhoo…lest us not digress.

First if you’ve never been here: P23 is a very laid-back spot. Not quite a dive, but getting close. Kinda kitschy place, perfect for its spot on the Embarcadero. We need more places like this! Come here for food or drinks it’s all good enough. Not like it’s gonna rock a big ‘ol Zagat rating but the food does the trick, the drinks are good and the scene is all about kickin’ it with friends. So if you’re into that stuff, great. If not, WTF are you reading VdV for?!

Top reasons to love Pier 23:

• Especially on a sunny day it’s hard to beat
• Great outdoor patio on the Bay
• Awesome live music scene. We saw Eric Lindell on Sunday, a band outta New Orleans and they definitely kicked it up a notch
• Seems like you always run into someone you know (and actually like)
• Fun, pretty eclectic…OK very eclectic crowd. Bikers to suits to just regular folks.
• Low d-bag, and d-hag (yes, the term we are coining for female d-bags. You heard it here first!) quotient. Woo hoo!
• Killer Mahi Mahi Fish & Chips ($14.25), the fish is great, the fries are a little too match-sticky for me for this dish, but the Mahi makes up for it
• Great House Salad with Bleu Cheese ($7.25) Nope, not kidding, it has this awesome dressing with soy in it.
• Pretty strong drinks!

If you don’t like Pier 23, you need your pointy little head examined.

Top reasons not to like Pier 23:

• You are one of the aforementioned d-bags. Or d-hags. Please continue to stay away.
• Bikers bother you. Not saying you need to like bikers, just the ability to co-exist. Don’t get intimidated most of ‘em are suit-wearing white collar lawyers or (unemployed) bankers Monday-Friday anyway
• You avoid fun
• You got dumped here at some point and blame the venue, not yourself.

Side notes:

The Nachos (10.75)…you’d think a joint like this would do it right. But no. As with Pizza, KID (Key Ingredient Distribution) is, well, Key. This pile ‘o chips is coated in about an inch of cheese on top so  nothing under gets any queso love. And then the black beans and chicken are underneath. So none of it is mixed up. The salsa is on the side, so again no melding of flavor-ness. Nachos should be an orgy of goodness, these suffer from ingredient segregation.

VdV Rating: 4

Hours:
Mon-Fri 11:30a-10p
Sat: 10a-10p
Sun 10a-9p

Pier 23 Café
Pier 23, The Embarcadero
San Francisco, CA
(415) 362-5125

Plus, they have launched their trademark brunch, Sloppy Sundays. The bay area’s answer to “what the hell do I do to end the weekend just like I started it – in the gutter?” Now you have your answer.

Oh yeah, another menu highlight?? Feldman’s house-cured gherkins. Free with any order, if you are brave enough to ask.

They also have an all-star type bartender thang where they have mixers from other friendly bars around town do stints st the R. Very cool and very smart. Draws a great crowd of regulars from a network of other bars. Hey Eric & Todd – did you go to Stanford?? Kidding, we know this is the biggest Oregon Duck hangout south of Autzen Stadium. 

They attract an industry crowd that respects the trade. It's like an unwritten 'no a-hole policy'. And it seems to work. These dudes draw a rockin' crowd and keep it going with a a good vibe. And fun the whole ride. Yee ha!

Located in Polk Gulch at Sutter near Polk. And yes, we refuse to use the term TenderNob. Oh and there's a parking garage across the street, thank god.

R Bar
1176 Sutter St.
San Francisco, 94109
(415) 567-7441

It’s small and very cozy. Go later in the evening when you want to put a cap on ya nite. We went with our friends Josh and Julia after a party, woo, what an end to a great night.

Stockton – cross is Union. No valet, but eat at Citizen Thai down the street first. Park at Romolo. Afterward, stumble over to Golden Boy Pizza around the corner for some soakage. And then, call a taxi;)

Tony Niks
1534 Stockton St
San Francisco, CA 94133
(415) 693-0990

The good news is, the bar is long, so your chances of getting your drink, pretty good. They have "infused" vodka, John’s fave is Vanilla, mix it with ginger ale, and you have yourself a cream soda, mmm. That’s it for the infusions IMO. This place goes through the Fernet Branca by the gallons, has anyone read of wormwood? Wasn’t that used as insect repellent?

Anyhoo, you MUST ask for a Lorelei Margarita, straight up in a ‘tini glass and low on the carbs. She’s great at them if you can get her to make you one. Elliot is a close second.
If you go for lunch you’ll be sure to seevJeff and Mark, he’s cool and freaking funny. Tell him John and Janine sent ya.

Game days can be tough so get there early if you’re hittin’ the park. Oh and hungry, we recommend the mac and cheese, hell, get it with ham AND broccoli, go nuts. The wings hit the spot too. They just put a good salmon dish on the menu so go for it, but get it with white beans, no mashers, save the carbs for the ‘ritas.

UPDATED: APRIL 14, 2007

Nova Bar
555 Second St.
San Francisco,
CA
94107
(415) 543-2282