• Shitty, overpriced and weak margys. I mean, we had a pitcher and got brain freezes from all the ice way before we caught any type of happy buzz.
• Workers with bad ‘tudes that would play with their greasy hair then touch the food and make you drinks without washing their hands. Ewe.
• Marina crowd. ‘Nuff said
• Eric the Owner. He screamed at me one time. Me?! I’m lovable!
• And their whole: ‘Tres Agaves … Rocks, No Salt’ line. Don’t you dare tell me how to drink my tequila, d-bag!! That said, this is still their tag line and they need to replace it. Call us for brand consulting;)

But the other day, what do they say, Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder? or one of those gay sayings, and after a disappointing experience at the recently opened Iron Cactus on 4th& Townsend, we wandered past TA and figured we’d roll the dice and after a few years see if the situation had improved. I mean, we’d had some friends from area restaurants go there to work, so who knows. Plus, I gotta give them props since our dear, deceased Bassett Hound Stanley liked this place better than anywhere ‘cuz the two cool hosts/hostesses with the mostesses would pet him and give him snacks every time we walked by.

And, grudgingly, we also dug their Carne Asada ($19.95), we would cheat occasionally and order that to go. Basically so Stanley could get some pets and treats. But that steak is damn tasty, made to order (i.e. RARE) and still on the menu.

So how is this post Sammy Hagar and Tommy Tres Agaves? Well, apart from the fact Eric Ruben still runs it, (we hear he mostly pushed out Sammy & Tommy), here goes:

So, the usual d-bags behind the bar were absent. We actually had a very nice guy (spaced his name) that was friendly and not tequila-snobbish.

The Chips were the same, which is fine. They are good chips, a little thick but fresh and good taste. The Salsa improved! How? Just better flavor, maybe better ingredients, a little better texture and spices. Not too hot, not too wimpy. Plus as opposed to some spots in NYC, these puppies remain free. Bravo!

The tacos – hey remember, we just waddled over from Iron Cactus so didn’t go whole hog. We ordered the Tacos al Pastor ($13.50), which is (or is it ‘are’?) not one, not two, but count ‘em four tacos, two each of adobo marinated pork and chicken from their wood burning oven. These are served on corn tortillas, soft not crunchy. And they are served with rice and ‘beans of the day’ whatever that means. I prefer black beans but these were some type of Kidney bean, and they were meaty and good. The tacos were pretty good too.  Big step up from Iron Cactus, who looked like some blind spastic put the tacos together.  And y’know what, haters? They’re about the same price as Iron Cactus
too. Since you get 4, that’s only $3.38 per taco, mathematicians.

The tacos here are well made and well presented. The bird taco was very good, well spiced, a generous portion of it and
all in all tasty. The blend of meat, onions, spices and, with a little salsa on top, was very tasty. The pork though was somewhat bland. Dunno what
happened but it was disappointing. It was slightly over cooked,
and like I said, pretty much void of taste. So it’s not all horny love here for Tres, but they do seem to have kicked it up a notch. Keep it up, suckas, and maybe we’ll come back!

VdV Rating: 2.5 (reserving higher points until we go back again)

Hours:
Sun-Thu 11:30a-10p
Fri-Sat: 11:30a-11p

Tres Agaves
130 Townsend St
San Francisco, CA 94107
(415) 227-0500

Hola, muchachos! Qué Pasa mo-fos! We’re reporting live (OK, not live we were here a couple days ago and I’m just getting around to this. We’re busy, people!) from none other than the brand spankin’ new Iron Cactus Taqueria. They call it Iron Cactus. We call it Iron Cactus Taqueria so your expectations are set right.

Know why, cousin? ‘Cuz we didn’t know it was a taqueria, we thought it was a proper restaurant. Not that taquerias can’t be proper, it’s just that we thought it wasn’t a cafeteria style place, like Chavos down the road. We thought we’d get waited on. Hey don’t you dare call us snobs, you bastard! Lazy, but not snobs. It’s just if I’m in the mood to shuffle down a cafeteria line like I’m looking for hand outs, I’ll go to the soup kitchen. Just kiddin’.

So we mosied into Iron Cactus on Sunday, jazzed to see a new Mexican joint in our ‘hood. I mean, we were so happy when we heard Tres Agaves was opening, then so buzz-killed by our experiences there we’ve been waiting for someone to come around and kick their asses (update on Tres Agaves coming soon).

The space is warm and inviting, rustic, a little cavern-like but a really nice space. It’s actually an old dairy.  Like that makes a difference to you. Anyhoo, big concrete walls, high ceilings and a large skylight give it a nice feel. We both felt the table layout could be adjusted to allow for additional seating, but oh well. They can fix that later. If it ever becomes a problemo.

OK, back to the ‘Taqueria’, and why we have a stick up our butts about this distinction. So to us Taqueria means: Get in line, move down the line, bark out your order, get a lot of questions back, answer the best you know how, get more questions and stuff about ‘extra this and costs more that’, finalize said order, get to the counter, order your drink, pay and go find a table. Dunno, I like getting waited on. But it is what it is.

So that said, we have a few issues: 1) If you’re gonna do that type of set up for ordering, place some menus up front so as people are waiting in line (or before they get in line) they can pretty much figure out what you serve and what they want, helps to keep the harmony going b) the blackboard they have is basically ‘the menu’ and is confusing. Why? The specials are written in super-small handwriting and it should have provided a nice simple 1-2-3 type of message on what ya are expected when you get in line 3) if, and it’s a big ‘if’, ‘cuz every time a low-end sushi place puts those weird samples of what your dish will actually look like it grosses me out, but if you are going to place ‘representative’ samples of the dishes you serve, for the love of Cristo tell us WTF the dishes are!

We actually saw the manager walking around talking to guests here and there, (well, we think he was the manager ‘cuz he was wearing a tie and the only whitey working there), and hoped to get his attention and give him a little constructive criticism. Just tryin’ to help ya thrive, Cactus! But alas, he pretty much ignored us.

But the hell with all that mindless drivel! If the food is solid I’ll slog through a field of burro crap for it. We of course, ordered tacos and chips and salsa. And a couple beers ‘cuz they don’t have a big-boy liquor license. I hope they’re working on it. So, the tacos. We ordered one tinga-style chicken and one steak. Wait! First the chips and salsa.

The Chips & Salsa ($3). Well, the chips are light and fresh. Not saying ‘instantly baked on the premises by Grandma Espinoza fresh’ but crisp and decent. But the salsa. Actually Pico de Gallo. Hey we love tomatoes, onion, cilantro and peppers so PdG is a fave of ours. Read: It’s hard to F this stuff up. And Iron Cactus didn’t, it just could have used a little more heat, and a better tomato to onion ratio. Meaning a little more tomato.  And it came in a little to go container. It’s like, people: ya have ‘to go’ people and ‘eat in’ people. Treat them as such, not the same. If I’m eating in, I don’t want a to go container of PdG. Feel me?!

Next, tacos. We ordered the Soft Tacos ($4), one
tinga-style chicken and one carne asada. They should rename them ’Sopping Wet Tacos’. Or ‘Sweaty Tacos’. Yummy! And they weren’t wet with salsa or meat juice, or from the taste of it the black beans.

Unless when they scooped the beans in they gave us a ladle-full of bean juice. Hmm, maybe that was it. But no, the beans were on the side. Let’s just call it a mystery. I mean, look at the photo. ‘Glistening Tacos’ they could also be called. Just ‘wet’. Kinda weird. They’re served on corn tortillas. Make that sopping wet corn tortillas and neither had much flavor to them. The meat seemed pretty bland, the spices were not very spicy and that sopping wetness made them a little hard to eat and definitely did not add to the texture or flavor. Next time, we’ll try the crispy tacos.

Bottom line, this place has some kinks to work out, as most new places do. They should do well from the Caltrain traffic and have a good to-go biz, but remains to be seen if they can make some refinements and attract the locals to come back more than once. That said, we’ll give ‘em a few weeks and give it another go, amigos!

VdV Rating: 1.5

Hours:
Mon-Sat 11a-9p

Iron Cactus
683 4th St (betw Bluxome St & Townsend St)
San Francisco, CA 94107
(415) 777-1004

Anyhoo, we’ve been to Cantina more than once, but it was just this weekend we put it all together. The laid back spot we dropped in on Saturday afternoon for a shot or three of tequila is one and the same the place we were at several Saturday nights ago, with the downstairs lounge, the boom boom, the pick up scene and all that awesome Tom Foolery Hi Jinx! Yes, we are pretty quick on the uptake, as they say.

Yeah, this place is a little Jekyll & Hyde. Or is it Clark Kent? “By day,  just an innocent, laid-back, locals hang out for a little socializing or afternoon cocktail quaffing, but after the sun sets a balls-out night club that expedites reckless sex with careless abandon. Or is it careless sex with reckless abandon? Hmmm. Who knows. Hell, who cares! Just use protection. OK, enough with the PSA.

Regardless, the nights we’ve been here for the balls-out portion seemed OK all-in-all. Not as d-baggery as some spots, slammin’ busy, a decent DJ with some serious mixologist dudes who can rock it big time. Y’know those types that eschew (yes, eschew) jiggers and basic retard measuring things and just go with it? Yeah. They’re good. Try the Laughing Buddha. It’s just been a little too wall-to-wall for my tastes when I’ve been here. But I get it. For what it is, it’s good. But hey, I already scored a hottie for life (that’s what our vows said), so maybe that’s just not my bag. But as an objective observer, guys, there’s some hot women here!

But what we’re talkin’ about today, young ‘uns, is the upstairs laid back bar, in the daytime, bitches. Daytime drinking is the new black. Ya heard it here first. The photo to the right (or left, above or below depending on the screen size & resolution of your Mac, PC, PDA or mobile device) doesn’t do the bar justice. It’s actually more gritty than this. Righteous! These guys know their tequila, they even schooled VdV! And they have the selection to back it up. Aside from not stocking Siete Leguas (whimper), they have darned near just about any fine tequila ya could shake a stick at. And after my rant about the Siete Leguas, I think they may bring that on soon. We even got a glass of a not-yet-released tequila, Don Roberto Anejo, that is excellent. Not too oaky, excellent semi-sweet vanilla on the finish and packs a punch.It should be in stock in acouple weeks, ask for it!

So bottom line, depending on what you’re into on any particular day, this place can deliver. Laid back ‘hood feeling bar during the daytime, or get your swerve on and (try to) bag a hottie at night (or just hang with friends, that’s OK too, but more boring) Cantina brings it.

Oh yeah, ask for Anson, he’s a cool dude and a great bartender. Tell him VinDivine sent ya and see what happens. Do not hold us responsible.

VdV Rating: 3

Hours:
Mon-Sat 5p-closing

Cantina
580 Sutter (betw. Powell & Mason)
(415) 398-0195

So DC can lay down some quality Mexican food! Can’t say the same for their Pizza (more to come soon, just you wait, and the taxi drivers suck ass and drive too slow and don’t know where anything is), but DC can do Mexican. Olé!

We had the hankerin’ for some good, not too fancy Mexican the other day in Georgetown. Yeah, that’s right, Jorge. We realize we’d just dined on Mexican for dinner a couple nights prior at Oyamel. But that was more fancy-shmancy Mexican, not good down home ‘could eat here every day’ Mexican. And it had been an entire, grueling 36 hours since we’d had chips & salsa! We needed a fix. So we found Los Cuates on Yelp. I know it’s pretty embarrassing but we were on foreign soil! Not literally, dumbass, I just mean that we were on our own. Friendless. Sans amigos in the District of Columbia. And I’ll tell ya one thing: Yelp ain’t nearly as popular in DC as it is in SF or NY. I mean, 22 reviews? 58 reviews? Pishka. Anyway, this place got good marks. And really, I know we call ourselves bitches, but Yelpers can be some downright cheap ass bitches. At least we’re not cheap.

So this place is cool, a few blocks off the main drag of M street on Wisconsin & Q. Cute little place, with just enough Mexican stuff around it to satisfy a gringo. Not too much. No La Cucaracha blaring, no Speedy Gonzalez , yada yada. We reckon it’s a popular spot for the Hoya crowd (what’s a Hoya, anyway. Even Georgetown itself can’t pin it down. And it has nothing to do with a bulldog). ‘Cuz it’s awesome food, good margaritas and a pretty decent value for whatcha get. I didn’t say cheap, but worth it. Feel me?

It’s sans Siete Leguas here but a good enough selection of tequila. And the ‘ritas are solid. Dunno if it’s all pure fresh lime juice but it’s close. None of that crap where ya need a side of Alka Seltzer after the second round.

But enough of the liquids. It was 3 PM and we hadn’t had a bite all day. We were ravenous. I think we looked scary. Like wolves. I think Duran Duran started playing when we walked in. So get us some f’ing Chips & Salsa!! Yeah. And they delivered. So, we’d heard complaints that the chips were so thin, they break off in the salsa…Damn life’s rough for you, you little G’Town, senator’s daughter. Get a life! Well, wait. Ha. Yes the chips are thin, but that just means it allows the salsa to do its job, which is deliver awesome-ness to your gullet like a Fedex truck.

Yee haw! All good. The salsa is pretty mild but very fresh, with big chunks of tomato and onion and minced pepper. We demolished 3-4 bowls of it, and they happily refilled it each time. ‘Cuz they know – with chips & salsa comes bonus rounds of Margaritas! These Georgetown people are clever.

These guys have a solid menu of all the usual suspects. Tacos, Fajitas, Burritos, Chimichangas, Frijoles, Guacamole, Mole. Mole Mole Mole. Sorry, couldn’t resist. The menu is nothing that crazy, and that’s cool. Just good, well executed Mexican food. And lots of it.

We had the Chicken & Steak Fajitas ($15), which were awesome. We wanted it rare (the beef, not the fowl!) and we got it rare. A super duper generous portion, lotsa cow and bird, sizzling like a mofo with green pepper, onion, some crazy hot Pablanos with beans (not black, bummer) good rice, s’cream and all that jazz.

We’d come back here for this dish and more anytime we’re here. But I think next time we’d just stick with the steak. Nothing personal against the chicken but the steak just rocked it.

Hey we liked fancy-pants Oyamel a lot too, but this is more of an everyday Mexican place. meaning we’d probably eat here almost every day if we lived here. So pilgrim, if you’re in the G’Town hood, or even anywhere around DC and want some killer Mexican get your ass to this place!

VdV Rating: 3.5

Hours:
Sun-Thus 11:30a-10p
Fri-Sat 11:30a-11p
Sat-Sun 11:30-2p (brunch)

Los Cuates

1564 Wisconsin Ave. NW
Washington, DC 20007
(202) 965-7009

PRO: Great Mexican small plates, fun vibe, excellent fresh ingredients
CON: Not much, really

So we roll into DC hoping to see our homie Barack and WTF? He’s at the U.N. then off to Pittsburgh for the G-20? The nerve, especially with all the lobbying VdV has done on his behalf. Wait. Pittsburgh?! R U kidding me? The leaders of the free world (at least some of them) are meeting in…Pittsburgh? Way to build that positive U.S. image! Whatcha gonna do, take ‘em all to a Steelers game? Buy ‘em an all-in-one sandwich? Plus we hear there’s anarchists there! Ha.

Anyhoo, we tasked some locals where to grab dinner in DC. They wanted some guidance. We said, “Have you not heard of VinDivine you bass-ackwards freak?!” OK, that was our internal voice…the look that we sent each other said it all. Verbally, we responded, ever so politely “Mexican or tapas sounds good, and a damn good tequila selection would be a bonus.” So they recommend this place called Oyamel, which serves Mexican small plates. Bam!

So this is a José Andres spot, he’s a D.C star with several spots all with the cool, hip and ‘small plates’ themes. Works for us. This place has a cool vibe, modern design, bright colors, a buzzin’ scene and..these butterfly mobiles everywhere. Well I guess they’re not mobiles. Or they are but they’re large and not made of paper. They’re actually more like hanging sculptures. They’d be light fixtures if they stuck some bulbs on ‘em. Anyhoo, it piqued our curiosity. Then we sacrificed a cat. Never mind. So we had to get to the bottom of this butterfly fetish. And, being VdV we quickly did. Wanna hear it? Then figuratively sit on my lap and here the tale goes:

“Every Fall, millions of Monarch butterflies (butterfly mobile question answered) leave their cocoons in the U.S. and Canada (bummer for those Canadian butterflies…get yer green card, get real and come to the U.S.) and set sail for sunny Mexico. Smart little rascals. Once they arrive in these forests of central Mexico called the Michoacan, they are ready to chill. A little R&R. So they seek refuge in these rare fir trees called…Oyamel“. Oy Vey! There ya go. I could bore you to tears with more detail, but I’ll leave that for the food review. Now get off my lap.

So as we do, with all Mexican places around the globe we test the chips & salsa. The litmus test, kittens! Wait, the first thing we really do is order a margarita. Hells yeah. So like a laser-guided missile I spy Sieta Legaus Repo, which scored Oyamel big points. Great ‘rita, all pure lime juice and strong. Yay!

OK, simultaneously we ordered some Chips & Salsa. How were they? Very good. And thanks for asking. The chips are thin, crispy, very fresh and not greasy at all, almost baked-like. And just the right amount of salt. And the salsa rocked it. Semi-chunky, a nice variety of peppers for some nice heat and just a hint smoky. Yum!

Then, this being a small plate kinda spot, we got busy. First off, the Quesadilla Huitlacoche ($8.50), traditional folded corn tortillas with Oaxaca cheese, corn and black Mexican truffle. Super fresh, the corn tortilla wasn’t a throw away, it actually had great texture and the cheese was mild yet very flavorful with a bit of smoky after taste. The truffles? Well, like Pavlov’s dog every time I hear the word ‘truffle’ I think of real, Italian Truffles and drool like an infant. But I don’t know many dogs who’d spend their day rooting these things up. Hey Mexico: call ‘em Mushrooms. They are great mushrooms, just not good truffles. Just sayin’.

Next! A special that night, the Stuffed Pablano with Pork, Goat Cheese and Apples (10.50). We love stuffed peppers. It’s the one thing Mom VdV could actually pull off. But these truly rocked. The pepper was cooked just right, tender and still smoky with some heat remaining. And the stuffing was like a orchestra playing in your mouth. Ha. No it wasn’t! JHC. Get real. But it was damn good though, and the ingredients worked really well together. The goat cheese, which could have dominated the entire dish, was mild and paired well with the ground pork, tender cooked apples and pablano salsa. Weird thing – they added pomegranate seeds which I think were meant to balance the heat of the pepper. They didn’t really detract, but didn’t add much either.

Last and best of all? The Cayo de hacha con pipián de chile pasilla ($9), of course. That means, if you are one of the 0.0001% of people that don’t speak Spanish (me included), Seared scallops with a pasilla chile and pumpkin seed sauce, orange segments, pumpkin seed oil and toasted pumpkin seeds. Sheeyaaat this stuff took it. Awesome. Really. OK I’ll calm down. It’s only shellfish. Scavengers of the Sea, some would say. But still, the scallops were seared and cooked to perfection, and the sauce was k-i-l-l-e-r. The blend of chile, and the smooth, semi-meaty but sweet flavor of the pumpkin along with the crunch of the pumpkin seeds? Priceless, bitches. Nice, simple and outstanding. This is the go-top meal for Oyamel.

So all in all, excellent mexican tapas, a fun scene, great tequila selection and friendly service. We passed on the grasshopper dish. If you want it, do it and let us know how it was. And to top it all off (not to mention the extra round of ‘ritas,and shot of tequila we had) our server brought us, gratis, two glasses of Mezcal. Hmmm. Do you actually thank someone for that? Not sure. But a nice gesture and it reaffirmed to us that we have not yet ‘acquired’ a taste for this heinous liquid!

VdV Rating: 4

Hours:
Sun-Mon 11:30a-10p
Tue-Thus 11:30a-11:30p
Fri-Sat 11:30a-12a
Sat-Sun Brunch 11:30a-3p

Oyamel

401 7th Street NW (Penn Quarter)
Washington, DC 20004
(202) 628-1005

OK New York. WTF happened to you? Back in the day, you were a little more like San Francisco. No, I don’t mean rolling up the sidewalks at 10PM. I mean, you couldn’t swing a stick without beaning some homeless person in the noggin. I mean, the streets were lousy with homeless. Seriously, you’d trip over them on the way to your Starbucks. God awful! But the polar opposite was our sad situation in Chelsea on Saturday after eating a delicious late lunch/early dinner at Crema (yeah, I’ll get to that).

After stuffing our faces so full we couldn’t finish the last Pork Taco, we figured we’d donate it to some  hungry homeless (is that like Sahara Desert?) person. It’s pretty obvious we have huge hearts and tons of empathy! So we hit the streets in anticipation of a quick transaction. 

So after insulting several people that I thought looked homeless (Hey it was Fashion Week, we set the bar high. Obviously too high) by asking them if they wanted a free taco; and sulking around subway stops (‘cuz  aren’t they always infested by homeless?) looking for a worthy donor, and then just getting fed up by the lack of homeless in NY after searching high and low (mainly low) for more than 30 minutes we went up to some sheet rockers (construction people) and they snatched it right up. Halla-f’ing-lu-yah. Really Bloomberg, your city is losing its character!

OK, now that the PSA is over, let’s get down to business, shall we? So, Crema is led by kick-ass chef Julieta Ballesteros, who is rated as one of NY’s best Mexican chefs. She gets tons of great buzz and has lots of flashy awards. But Michelin ratings be damned! Could she bring It under the pressure of the VdV Troupe?

Well, first impressions. This is a cool place. Mexican atmosphere but with a French Bistro flair. A pretty cool mash-up, the front and back both have windows that open up and let in the air (or smog, smoke or whatever else) and gives it that Parisian feel. In between? Subtle Mexican notes, nothing too over the top, no mariachi bands or pictures of bull fights. No no, this is a classy place, kittens. So right off the bat, we order up a couple Partida Margaritas ($12). For one, they’re served in decent size glasses not some dixie-cup imitation, and b), they’re made with fresh lime juice and a fair amount of tequila. Tasty. We had 4 more! Yee haw!

On to the food. Stay with us! This is a marathon, not a sprint. We were here on Saturday afternoon, so got the brunch menu. So, we have to have Chips & Salsa right? Yes, we do. So we ask for chips & salsa and we get it. For EIGHT DOLLARS! And you have to choose what salsa you want, spicy or mild. Come on, just serve ‘em both if you’re going to clip me for $8 bones. So we selected the more mild, smokey Chile-Tomate Salsa made with Roasted Tomatoes, Chiles and Cilantro. You would swear on the holy Bible itself there was cream in this stuff. It’s really bizarre, more of a soupy type of concoction than typical salsa. But y’know what, Festus? We drank it up like it was soup too! Awesome flavors, no cream, just slow-roasted tomatoes and chile goodness. The chips were good. Not great, they were a bit thicker than we like.

Next, we had the Asado de Puerco ($14), basically pork tacos, people. It’s Tender Pork Marinated in Chile Ancho. Two tacos, presented like artwork, but way more importantly crammed full of tender, juicy swine. These little piggies ran all teh way to our bellies. At least one of them anyway. They aren’t over spiced, but just right and down-home (if your home is Mexico) good.  All killa no filla. Excellent. We could only eat one, so took one to go to give to a worthy homeless person. Damn Bloomberg, what’d ya do with ‘em all!? OK, we won’t revisit that topic.

Next, we had the Alambres de Filete ($17), Grilled Filet Mignon Skewer Marinated in Lime and  Beer, served with Red Bell Peppers, Mushrooms, Red Onion, Bacon, and Drizzled with a Five Chile Paste. Yummy Yum Yum for the tummy. It’s only one skewer so it’s not cheap but the meat quality is awesome, they served it up RARE like we asked and the flavors were really just great. It comes on a very thin, crunchy tortilla and the five chili paste makes the dish. I don’t know how they say ‘drizzled’ ‘cuz can you really drizzle a paste?

Details, details! I would eat here 3 times a week if I lived close by. Not cheap but excellent Mexican, done up right. Bonus: They host a Premium happy hour every day from 5pm to 7pm with 2 for 1 drink special! Viva la Crema!

VdV Rating: 4

Hours:
Mon-Wed 12p-11p
Thu-Fri 12p-2a
Sat-Sun 11:30a-11p

Crema Restaurant
111 W 17th St (betw 6th & 7th in Chelsea)
New York, NY 10011-5468
(212) 691-4477

Back to Mamacita, what a madhouse! Pick-up city, too. I mean how can it not be when you’re basically dry-humping, or being dry-humped, just trying to snake your way through the crowds to the bar.  Seems like the crowd is a slightly older (note – we didn’t say more mature) and richer Taco Tuesday crowd if ya know what I mean.

The drinks? FAB. Great ritas, great tequilas…packed a punch. We had our favorite, basic Hornitos version (no salt for me, salt for Johnnie), but the Pomegranate ones are supposed to be killer too.

The food? You know what we love people…good chips & salsa and small plates!! Super-fresh tortilla chips and perfectly-spicy salsa, Hell even the guac was good and neither of us are fans of the avocado. Next – the Niman Ranch meatballs. They come on a bed of cumin-scented whipped potatoes and
a super-tasty charred tomatillo chipotle sauce. The tacos come 3 at a time. We had the carnitas and the carne asada. Cow whores that we are, the pork was actually better – more tender and paired with some type of parmesan-like cheese and a zingy chili sauce.

We’ll go back soon and have more different plates, too bad we made such pigs of ourselves with the chips. Then we’ll report back atcha, loyal VinDiviners.

Bottom line: We’re damn glad we had an ‘in’ or we may have starved to death waiting for a table. And we’ve heard that even if you call ahead for a resie, count on waiting an additional hour or so before you actually get your table. Don’t hate the player, hate the game – ‘cuz people just don’t wanna leave! Secondly, unless you are in the mood for a scene (it is the Marina) you may want to go elsewhere – but if you have your game on, you’ll have a blast! Oh yeah, pack your earplugs;)

Mamacita
2317 Chestnut St.
San Francisco, CA 94123
(415) 376-1629

Everything we noshed on recently was great – the warm tortillas and salsa they give gratis, Tamales Oaxaquen?os (really chicken tamales w/ mole sauce), Quesadillas de rajas con queso o de epazote (corn tortillas w/ yummy traditional Oaxaca cheese & roasted poblano chiles), Mole poblano (a melenge of chiles, nuts & a little chocolate made into a sauce and served over chicken)…all lip-smakin’ good. We’re not fans of the avocado (slimy, green and full of fat) but the tableside-made fresh guac even looked tempting to us. Definitely try it if you’re into that stuff.

Good tequila selection, and (listen up Tres Agaves!) they even put tequila in their margaritas! Bravo.

We sat at – shocker! -the bar, and the service was super and friendly. Looked like the tables got pretty good service as well.

One slight knock – they say the decor matches that found in cantinas in Mexico City in the early 1900s…well, if you count a mix of Denny’s & Z Gallerie as authentic 1900′s Mexico City then I guess they nailed it. But really who the hell cares when everything else is so damn good?! So if you’re bee-boppin’ around downtown during and afternoon and just want a quick snack or drink, or want a great dinner spot definitely check this place out.

Colibri Mexican Bistro
438 Geary St.
San Francisco,
CA
94102
(415) 440-2737

This is not a destination place, my furry friends. This is a "I’m walking down Union Street and have the munchies" place. That’s it. Nothing wrong with that. It’s like looking through your closet and deciding to wear the beat up pair of Pumas just because it’s not worth lacing up the Y3s. They have a few outdoor tables, not worth fighting for IMO. Know why? You’ll be sitting right next to some tool who thinks his/her poop doesn’t stink because they scored a table.

Left at Albuquerque
2140 Union St.
San Francisco, 94123
(415) 749-6700

Don’t miss these scrumptious numbers:

• Cotja Crusted Quesadilla
• Yucatan Lamb Taco
• Sixteen Spice Chicken
• New Mexican Spice Rubbed Pork Tenderloin

Spices, spices and a dash of spice! YUM.

Mesa Grill
102 5th Ave.
New York, NY 10011
(212) 807-7400