First off, I want to move in to Martini House. Yep, kick everyone out and make it my Napa pied a terré, as those douche bags say in places like the society pages and on soap operas. Wait. I’d keep the chef. And maybe if there’s a cute server…just kidding, J!

I’ve wanted to hit this place for years, and for some reason it never worked out. So when we were up here for the weekend last weekend, it was our first stop. Even before checking into Bardessono. Had some things to check off that list, hear me?

So a little history. The story behind the story. Let’s go all Anderson Cooper 360, shall we? So Martini House was built in 1923. By a dude by the name of Walter Martini, for him and his bitch. I mean wife. A  sweet, lovely thing I hear. The Martinis loved to party (with a last name like that, doi) and right around prohibition, he exclaimed “WTF dude, you’re not killing my party” and entered the lucrative business of bootlegging. Walter, you are my hero.

Anyhoo, Walter and his lovely wife died. And in rode Pat Kuleto! Hmmm, I wonder if there was foul play afoot? No, Kuleto’s not that old. So Pat, designer of cool places like Boulevard, Farralon, Water Bar, Epic Roasthouse and many others, teamed up with Chef Todd Humphries to open Martini House. Way to go, fellas!

This place is a rustic lodge. With Native American accents in the lighting and wall hangings. Very warm and

The lovely J, barking out a drink order!

cozy, with an outdoor patio as well. Ya walk in downstairs, which houses a cool, dark bar that just begs you to take a stool (no, not that type of stool) and hang out ’til closing. Guess where we sat?! There’s also a few tables, and a ginormous fireplace too.

Upstairs is the dining room, which has great natural light and features an open ‘exhibition’ kitchen and seating for, I’d say 40-50 people. Lots of wood with worn, red leather upholstery. They also have a random outside table that is tented in in the cooler months.

Yes, it’s in wine country so they have a great wine list, 600 bottles or so. Great range of Cali as well as new & old world selections. And being the Martini House, and realizing how damn literal some people can be, there’s also a great Martini list. And bonus – Sieta Leguas Reposado tequila and Hangar One Kaffir Lime Vodka!

We were here for lunch and brought a ravenous hunger. So we got right with it. We had the Mushroom Soup ($8), made with just picked (that’s what it tasted like) Morels, Porcini and Button shrooms. This soup was incredible. Creamy without having more than a touch of cream, the varieties of shrooms really came through. It didn’t taste like generic ‘mushroom’, it  tasted like Morels, Porcinis and Buttons. Nice smooth texture as well.

Next, the Crab Spring Rolls ($9). I’ve decided I’ll take my crab in crab legs or crab cakes, thank you very much. Something about that meat, in a deep fried spring roll…it just hid the great taste and texture of the crab. We left one roll on the plate.

Beef Carpaccio

Then we had the Beef Carpaccio with Black Truffles ($15). Warning, we can be semi-Carpaccio bitches. The serving was slightly small, and there was too much friseé. Evil, throat-tickling roughage.

That said, the truffle was good although I think it was oil not shaved truffle, and the dish had this cool, crunchy little stuff shaken over the top. It ended up being micro-fried potatoes, which added a great little pop to the dish. Oh yeah! Doi, the beef: High quality Angus (guessing), sliced paper thin, very fresh, good but a little less tasteful than what we’ve had at Bicé in New York or even Scala’s in San Francisco.

We wrapped up the meal with the special Chicken Pot Pie ($14) which was excellent. Why? What makes a pot pie excellent? No, not pot, fool. I

Pot Pie like Mom (not mine, yours) used to make!

heard that. Well, here’s why: a) it looked good, just a great presentation 2) the crust was killer. Thin but robust enough to hold a hearty stew, and just slightly burnt here and there c) the innards. Nice chucks of nice moist white meat bird, tender chucks of carrots, spuds and celery with a yummy thick, hot gravy that just oozes out. Pardon the drool.

We washed it all down with..no not a Siete Leguas Margarita or even a Hangar One Lime & Soda on the Rocks but a couple glasses of Melanson Stone’s Throw Chardonnay. Whoa, chill! Yes, we had Chardonnay. Just seemed like a Chardonnay day, it paired well and Greg Melanson is a great guy who also happens to make a very good Chard. Or at least hire guys that make a damn good Chardonnay.

So I like this spot. Although a couple dished were so-so, the others were solid and the atmosphere is great. If you’re up that way give it a go! I’d go back in a flash.

VdV Rating: 3

Hours:
Sun-Sat:11a-10p

Martini House
1245 Spring Street (@ Oak)
St. Helena CA 94574
(707) 963.2233

Bardessono, ya rocked us last weekend. We’re hooked. Between you and the lush lifestyle that was at our fingertips in Yountville, J&J had one of the most fun weekends for awhile. And the bar is set pretty high already, bitches!

And thanks to Gilt.com’s Jetsetter promotion, we got ya cheap, too, only $160 bones for a full suite. Woo Hoo! Prolly the last time too, ‘cuz I figure that was the age-old ‘heroin bait and switch’, right? Cut me a cheap deal to experience the rush, then jack that price up to the full $600-1000 retail and bleed me dry. Bastards!

That’s OK though, ‘cuz staying at the big B also got us into the tiny little town of Yountville. Or is it more of a village, or a burg? All I know it’s basically one street. And we dig Yountville, too. Hell, where else up here, on  a 1/2 mile stretch of 2-lane road can you get world-class dining like Redd, French Laundry, Bouchon (update coming), Bistro Jeanty, Ad Hoc (veal on menu, had to pass), Bottega, Luca (good thin crust, review coming) and more, and enough wineries and tasting rooms (V WIne Cellar is da absolute bomb, visit Scott and tell him VdV sent you! This time, it  actually might get you something) without ever having to jump in your hoopty and risk things you don’t wanna risk? I mean, I’m sure the drunk tank in Yountville is one of the best, but…I’d say that’s an experience best left to others.

Hey ya wanna know what this place is missing? Wanna make some easy $$? Open a cool, upscale  Mexican restaurant! The place is dyin’ for one. Rick Bayless, are you listening?!

Anyhoo, I have one thing to say to you. And listen for once! 1) Stay here. OK, two things. 2) Get a massage. Bardessono is cool. It’s completely eco-green, built with recycled materials and outfitted with solar panels and snazzy little motion sensors that automatically lower shades and adjust A/C when you leave or enter the room. Apologies, I mean, the ‘suite’. The grounds are also very well designed. Olive, Juniper and Magnolia trees, nice shrubs and grasses and just tranquil. But modern tranquil, kittens!

The rooms here are all suites, and not those jippy ‘Residence Inn All Suites’ numbers. These’re all about 550 ft. sq. with a great layout and amenities. About 2/3 of the space is devoted to your bed/living space, with great mattresses and linens, fireplace w/ flat screen above it, and huge patios and decks. And black-out shades so you can sleep off the night before. Giggidy!

The other 1/3 is your bath/dressing area, with a nice big jet-tub (one you’ll actually want to use), dual sinks/vanities and just ‘room’ Ya don’t feel cramped when you’re getting all gussied up to hit the town. I mean, village.

You get tons of privacy as well, all the windows are polarized so no one can see in, and where there are big windows in the bathroom, there’s always something blocking the view from any perv’s spying in. Sorry, voyeurs!

There’s also a rooftop pool and what has to be one of the most kiln-hot hot tubs I have ever experienced. Damn, heating that thing must zap 1/2 the solar power they’re generating. I think it topped one-oh-six. No shit. And yes, Bardessono has a bar and restaurant as well. The drinks at the bar were dandy, and it’s a nice space. We didn’t get around to dining in the restaurant although we heard it’s good. We can vouch for their breakfasts though, room service was great.

Oh yeah, they also have bikes to cruise around on, valet parking is included, and all the people here are also very cool too.

VdV Rating: 4

Bardessono
6526 Yount Street
Yountville, CA 94599
(707) 204-6000

I don’t know you. Never even met ya. I did see you @ Bottega Saturday pm. Found it weird you didn’t flirt with my wife, she’s hot. But you looked preoccupied, so that’s OK. I didn’t take offense. Ya see Mike, all I know about you is Napa Style (great catalog!), your Food Network appearances, not 1, not 2, but a whopping 3 daytime Emmys, numerous cookbooks and of course your appearance on Top Chef Masters. Plus I met your girlfriend (now wife?) a couple times years ago. Don’t worry, it was business.

So I’m like a lotta people. I only know what the media, those good for nothing gutter sluts (except for TMZ they crack me up), tell me. And yes, they did a number on you in TCM. Positioned you as being a bit petulant, to put it gently. And I can see people glomming right onto that. Always trying to knock you off that pedestal. But that can’t be you, Mike! Why? Because after eating at Bottega yesterday, I just don’t care to believe it. See, I’m shallow. Mud puddle shallow. Hell even if you are the d-bag they portrayed you as, or if you hunt baby seals, WTF do I care? Your food rocks! Actually it was some of da best we had all weekend, and we dined at Martini House, Redd, Bouchon, Luca and more. Well played!

So to be clear, we did not eat an entire meal here. We enjoyed some appys before a pre-reserved meal at Bouchon. I mean let’s walk before we run, am I not right, Mike? So like I said, we came by to take the pulse of the food, to give you a whirl, and since we like small plates it made sense. And I say, Santé, Chef! So let’s bury the hatchet once and for all, OK?

Yours Truly,
VinDivine

OK now, onto the review! We were here the night before for a little drinky-pie before heading to Redd for dinner. (Mike, please do not get a complex). We weren’t super hungry, just wanted to stave off any rumblings since we weren’t gonna eat dinner until late.  This place gets pretty jammin’ for sure. Especially on the weekends. They have a nice large outdoor patio with plenty ‘o heaters to make it cozy enough to sit outside, and they have 2 outdoor fireplaces. Inside, the atmosphere is nice and ‘rustic casual’, with wood floors, exposed old brick walls, large wooden beams, big windows and an open, exhibition kitchen. They have a bar near the entry that seats about 8-10. And that’s where we planted our fine VdV butts.

First off, we ordered the Salsa di Parmigianno ($12). That’s right. And ya know what? It was awesome! So what the hell is it, you plead? It’s cheese salsa, ‘tardo! Just like it says. Pretty clever ‘lil number too. At first it surprised me that is wasn’t served warm. I think Mike would have chided me, with a gentle “But since when is salsa served warm, dumb ass?”. Touché!

Nope, it’s not. This was served at room temp and was a hit.  This is a rich snack, nice and thick with loads of fresh parmesan and some subtle spices. Nothing to fight with the basic, excellent taste of the liquid cheese though.  It’s served with crostini and ya just scoop that goodness onto the bread and chow down.

Next, we had the Basil Pesto Arancini with Molten Burrata Centers & Pomodoro ($8). Eight bucks? In Yountville? Dang, that’s cheap! Anyhoo, if you have no f’ing clue of what this dish is, look to the right. Luddite. Doesn’t matter though, Mike gets you at the ‘Molten Burrata’ part. So what these are are rice rolls made with basil pesto, with burrata cheese in the middle.

There are a ton of flavors here, but they all work as layers, and don’t conflict. The firmness of the rice balls, with the rice cooked just so, with the basil and pesto adding a nice, fresh taste to it. Then when ya bite in, that gooey yummy Burrata hits you like Molten Magma. It’s served over Pomodoro sauce for her dipping pleasure.

Lastly, we manged on the ‘Angry’ Ahi Crudo with Fennel Seed Crackers ($13). Hey, I’d be angry too if I was green! Yep, this dish is pretty green. Dr. Suess Green Eggs & Ham green. Feel me? Green Ahi? Yipes! I’ve heard of ‘green around the gills’ before, but not this. But not to worry, grasshopper. What made the Ahi green was the addition of Calabrian Chili. At least that’s what they told me. All I know is it added some nice heat! The crudo had excellent texture, not slimy, but ‘chunky’, very well spiced. The Fennel Seed crackers were a nice accompaniment, nice and thin with a subtle anise flavor. It

So bottom line people, this ain’t your mommy’s boring Shitalian food. This is some damn tasty, creative & quality chow that we’ll come back for a full dinner next time we’re here!

Hours:
Tue-Sun: 11:30a-2:30p
Mon-Thu: 5:30p-9:30p
Fri-Sat: 5p-10p
Sun: 5p-9:30p

Bottega Napa Valley
6525 Washington St.
Yountville, CA 94599
(707) 945.1050

Hey, Redd! That’s one of my pet names for my lovely wife J. So right off the bat I’ve gotta give it some extra points.

So we’re up here in Napa rollin’ like serious ballers. We were gonna have din din at Thomas Keller’s Ad Hoc last night, but J checked the menu and discovered that Veal was the main course, and quickly put the kaibosh on that venue. As opposed to some Fat Bastards, VdV doesn’t  eat babies!

Knowing that Ad Hoc has a set menu, and also predicting they may be serving something that wouldn’t agree with J’s palate, I had made a back-up resie at Redd (genius!). And Redd made a dandy good back-up. We invited our friends Bob & Jane up and went for it.

First off, it’s a very nice space. It was like a beacon as we walked there from drinks  at  Bottega (owned by Michael Chiarello. Did you see him on Top Chef Masters?! ‘Nuff said) on an uber-foggy night. It’s a nice, large open space, with bright lighting and a minimalist decor. Glossy wood floors, bright white walls with dark wood accents. Kind of sterile, but in a good way. Elegant, you could say, without being presumptuous.  Inviting. OK, enough with the adjectives. Summation? Me likee.

You can’t really call this place French-inspired, as I had heard it described. The chef, Richard Reddington, seems to pull all sorts of ingredients and inspirations into the menu, which is cool. A dab of this a dab of that. It’s a good menu, with both ala carte and tasting menu options. There’s a dozen or so appys and about 10 entreé dishes.  We went ala carte.

For starters, we had the Broccoli Soup with Tempura and Aged Cheddar Fondue ($12). The serving size was generous and I wish I’d snapped a pic of this puppy. Can a soup be beautiful? Yes. This was  bright green, very smooth with a nice drizzle of melted cheese swirled on top. And the taste rocked, it was very fresh, with little or no cream at all. Next, we had the Yellowfin Tuna & Hamachi Tartare with Avocado, Chili  Oil, and Fried Rice ($15). I asked whether I should order the Sashimi of Hamachi or this, and our server immediately steered us to the Tartare.

And yeah, I can hear you snobs already “OMG Buffy, when is this staid dish going to be removed from all menus. Hasn’t it been done, already? Yes Biff, it’s so 2009″. Well, if ya have ever had this dude’s Tartare you’d shut the F up, both of ya. If this isn’t a Redd Signature Dish it outta be. The fish was off-the-boat fresh with excellent texture and flavor, and the avocado (which I despise) actually added a nice balance to the dish. The kicker though was the ‘fried rice’ on top. It’s more like crunchy popcorn rice, deep-fried little rice bits that added great texture. Awesome dish!

OK, onto the mains. I had the Prime NY Steak and Shortribs with Dry Farmed Potatoes, Red Wine Jus & Horseradish ($29). Dang that’s a mouthful. Who in their right mind (except vegetarians I guess, but I think they’re all a bit off anyway) could say no to Steak AND Shortribs? Not this guy. This was a great dish people, and no, I didn’t get a good pic, sorry. Although I love NYC, NY Steak is not my fave cut but this was good. The NY cut was very flavorful, perfectly rare with nice texture and marbling. And the shortribs were tender as hell, not rare of course but again perfectly done with beau coup flavor, and just salty enough. The jus and creamy horseradish added what they needed to.

The other J had the Berkshire Pork Chop with with Caramelized Apples, Chard, Quince and Cider Jus ($27). I dunno, I am not a fan of ordering things I think I can make at home. Like Pork. But that darned J, she would not be dissuaded. J liked it, and I enjoyed my taste as well. The pork was super moist and tender, and with pork, the accompanying items make the difference. The mix of the apples and quince were good. We both agreed (I already knew:) that we wouldn’t order it again though. Why? Because we can make good pork at home!

For dessert we shared Peanut Butter & Milk Chocolate Gianduja and Peanut Honeycomb Parfait ($10). Holy crap! JHC this was awesome. Even though I didn’t, and still don’t, know WTF a ‘gianduja’ is this shit blew my doors off. And wait, what’d the other J just mutter under her breath? Oh yeah, that. I used the term ‘shared’ quite loosely. She just reminded me she only got one bite. Hey I’ll take the hit on that, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing.

Note: My pix didn’t come out so I stole a few of these shots from the world wide web. My dessert was slightly different as my ‘gianduja’ was longer (that’s what she said), but this is a good representation. I’m not even gonna describe it in more detail, it’s just scrump-dili-f’ing-licious. Bam.

BTW, the service was tight as well. Knowledgeable, pleasant, good sense of humor and only there when we needed him.

Hours:
Mon-Sun 11:30a-2:30p
Mon-Sun 5:30p-9:30p

Redd
6480 Washington Street
Yountville, CA
(707) 944.2222

Yes, another business meal, another blog post. That’s how we roll over here at VdV. The secret to happiness is mixing pleasure with biz any time possible.

So, ZuZu is located right in the historic downtown area of Napa. It’s a cute place, and has a rustic and authentic Argentinian feel about it. With nice lighting, weathered tin ceiling tiles, sandstone plaster walls and some interesting wooden artwork on the walls, they walk the line between casual and classy. The result is a very comfortable spot to have a biz meeting, date, or hanging with friends type of place to grab some small plates.

Bonus! They have a nice recycled pine bar that seats around 10 and is a great spot to hang out and chat up some folks. If you’re into that, of course.

They serve up a good regional menu, but I was shocked and horrified…ok, just bummed…that they did not have Croquettas on the menu. Come on guys!

So I started with the Ceviche ($10), a nice mix of fresh Halibut, lime, and peppers. Yummy for the tummy. Next was the Corn Chowder ($8) – it tasted cream based but it wasn’t. Very sweet and tasty, but the only real spice was some spring onions. Coulda used some ‘heat with the sweet’ as my man Bobby Flay would say.  Next, the server highly recommended the Vegetarian Quesadilla ($9) (I don’t think I look vegetarian), which I took a gamble on. Very good actually, for being meatless. I like my ‘dillas with meat! But this one, with melted Manchego cheese, onion, fresh lettuce all in a delicate yet crunchy flour shell hit the spot. I finished every bite. And to wrap it all up, the Niman Ranch Flat Iron Steak with Jalepeño Chimichurri ($11). Bada bing. Served very simply on a small white plate, with 6 generous slices of rare steak, EVOO and excellently spiced chimichurri. No steak knife needed. This baby took the prize! Yay meat!

What’d I wash it down with? Sangria, suckas! They make a fresh batch each day and it’s pretty good. Yes I have had better but no complaints at all. They also have a pretty extensive vino list, lots of wine by the glass and some interesting beers too.

This place won a Top 100 Bay Area Restaurants award for both 2003 and 2004 from the SF Chronicle. Yeah I know… what have you done for me lately. Damn you’re a tough crowd. Anyhoo, definitely check out ZuZu if you’re in the area. It’s a great lunch spot and good for dinner too if you’re looking for small plates and a nice, relaxed atmosphere.

VdV Rating: 3.5

Hours:
Mon-Thus 11:30a-10p
Fri 11:30a-11p
Sat 4p-11p
Sun 4p-10p

Zuzu
829 Main Street (betw. 2nd & 3rd)
Napa, CA
(707) 224-8555

OK, enough rambling, here we go:

• The sandwich (excusez-moi, Tartine) o’ the day is always good. Very good-sized, fresh sando with a salad or AWESOME FRITES (oh.man. Nice little sticks. Drool.) on the side. Great bread, great everything.

• Bibb lettuce salad. Bibb..also kinda fun to say! ’nuff said.

• Quiche Lorraine. Yepper – nice crust, eggs from outta this world, jambon, and crazy-good swiss cheese. Not too heavy either. What??

• Killer wine list. What else would you expect. Great by the glass or bottle.

Go!

Bouchon Bistro
6534 Washington Street
Yountville, Napa, CA